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How often do you find yourself wishing you could go back to your childhood days?

If you could go back to being five years old but still have memory of the life you've led up until now, would you do it?
I think about this sometimes during long thunderstorms and windy days on the river. I want to say I would do it, but at the same time being a 22 year old in a five year old's body could be frustrating. I would have the overwhelming urge to smoke and might think sometimes "I'd like to get on digihitch or reddit" - and then remember it's 1995. I'd probably be able to blow through gradeschool - no great tragedy. I'd probably not bother wasting that 10 months of my life I spent in community college. I'd probably avoid picking up smoking. Maybe I would take karate classes or something: self defense has never really been my strong point and that bothers me somewhat. All in all, despite what I could gain from being a worldly five year old, I don't think I would go back. My life today is more than satisfactory - in fact, it's usually outstanding. I'm afraid if I go back I might never see this life I've created for myself ever again. I would do anything to relive my childhood
It makes my sick to my stomach because of how badly I wish I could go back. There are so many memories, flashbacks, smells, emotions I wish I could relive. I love and miss it so much. Between the ages 4 to about 10. I wish my family still owned the house I grew up in. I miss my room, my yard, and not having a single care in world. I miss living with my siblings and mom. I miss the ones who were once here. I miss having the constant feeling of optimism and big dreams. I miss being happy. I feel like my inner child is so disappointed in my adult self. It’s alarming how many times a day I wish I could end my pain. I’ve been wondering lately that if I were to end it, if I could relive it in another world and start over. But then I would leave my family in pain in this life. I keep listening to this song by Quinn xcii called “we don’t talk enough” and I relate to it so hard. Because not only am I starting to shut people out, but the one line that goes “and I really hope I don’t wake up at 50 wondering why I gave my life away, and if it’s too late”… that line hits me hard - because I know that’s how I’m going to feel. I feel like I’ve been so depressed and hated myself so long that it will never get better. I appreciate this thread because it’s the one place I feel like I can express my true feelings. So thanks for reading my nonsense. Do you ever wish you could go back to your childhood and just relive the moments you miss? How often do you think of your childhood? Are the thoughts ever happy, sad, or neutral? Does anyone else reminisce about their childhood and wish they could go back to the “simple” times even though they know their childhood was miserable?
Interpersonal
I always hated my life while growing up. I remember wishing I could be a grownup ever since a very young age. I was always told “these are the best times of your life and your life as a kid is as easy as it will ever be”.
But as an adult, I know that’s not applicable to me. I’m in my early 20’s and my life has never been better. I know this is true, yet I still find myself thinking fondly of my childhood. Yet if you asked me to tell you a pleasant childhood memory, I wouldn’t be able to give an answer.
Obviously there’s nothing enjoyable about being abused, moving/switching school every few months, using ovens as a heater, eating ramen for every meal while looking at ads for food and imaging I’m eating something else, being completely alone, and living with several untreated mental disorders. So why does part of me still want to go back even though I know my life is actually good now? Is it normal and do others feel the same way? Does anyone else wish they could redo their childhood? If someone gave you a one-time pass to go back to childhood and redo everything with the knowledge you have now, would you take the opportunity and just do it? Why or why not?

 
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