When you broke up with someone you loved after a relationship that lasted for years, how long did it take you to fully recover and get over it?
12 years and I’m only a little over 2 weeks post break up. Not sure how long it will take but some days I feel way less stressed and some days I feel sad and lonely. It was coming for a long time and was pretty much mutual so it’s not like I didn’t know this day would get here eventually. To spend that long with someone and then not see them is definitely an experience. We are still friendly but I seem to wanna talk more than she does so I just give her space and go with the flow. I kept the house and she still has tons of stuff there so even though we are broke up we are still connected. I like that and dislike that at the same time.
I'm 36 and have quite a few relationships of at least a year or longer. Most of my relationships have ended well after they should have, so I felt relieved rather than heart broken. I did have one relationship that lasted about a year and after being dumped, I was completely heartbroken. I tried to stay in his life, thinking he'd come back. Shamefully, I did that for almost three months until he went no contact. It took a good month after that for me to get over the mourning period and stopped thinking about him. I started to see the faults in the relationship and in him that I hadn't wanted to see. It was then that I could move on.
I think you just have to let it take as long as it takes. I know that isn't necessarily helpful if you are currently struggling, but it's all you can do. I would caution against jumping into anything really soon though, especially if that's a pattern for you. Serial monogamy is often a recipe for pent-up issues exploding down the line.
Like 3 to 4 months of no contact usually does it. If they insist on contacting me (which is what has happened before) sometimes adds a couple weeks of "what ifs" but....yeah half a year for sure regardless of whether its a 6 year relationship or a few months. I think a part of me just gets angry about squandering feelings on someone who doesn't want them. I'm sure a marriage would be different or if it was a break up due to practicality but we both still had feelings (which I can't really think of a situation where this would make sense anyway). When I broke up with my ex-fiance, it was after 8 years and I was ready to date pretty much right away. I had already spent a good deal of time falling out of love with him, so by the time I actually told him to hit the bricks there was no emotional attachment at all. The things that had happened over our relationship that led to the breakup were enough of a balm that it just didn't bother me.
It all depends, it is been a good two years for me and I finally feel better but I am still not ready to move forward with someone else. It was my fault that it lasted this long because I agreed to the let's stay just friends idea. You'll never heal if you stay friends well at least pretend to be friends with someone you truly love. She started getting more and more distant and eventually stopped responding to texts and that's when I decided to cut off all ties with her. It's been 5 months of no contact and no stalking any forms of social media and I genuinely feel so much better now. Should also mention that I was the one who got dumped.
It all depends on the factors or the relationship, such as: how long you were together, why you broke up and the list goes on and on. As for me it wasn't too difficult. My ex SO cheated on me and threw me out like garbage so it really made me get over her a lot faster because why would I think about and be sad over not being with a girl like that anymore? I should be relieved! It took about 2 months for it to stop hurting. You'll go through phases of being sad, then pissed and then back to sad. What did I do wrong? Finally you'll level out and just not care anymore, it just doesn't hurt anymore. Sure I'll think about her sometimes and the "what if" factor but it doesn't hurt at all anymore. The past is the past, I've moved on and can't wait to see what the future holds. It gets better friend, it just takes time. There are plenty of fish in the sea :)
I dated a girl for two years and it ended like yours. It wasn't the worst because we were distance when it ended, but that made it weird emotionally since nothing really changed with the breakup. I wasn't depressed, but I wasn't really "normal" feeling single until I actually got hit on by someone else (like 4-6 months later) and was like "oh yeah, single. I can do things and be happier. YES!"
So basically: It depends on the person. Go be social and see where that gets you. Avoid (a little bit) talking to/about her and it'll probably help (going 0 can be unhelpful as going 100% obsessing), as will getting dates. Instead of dates, friend time works well too. Just don't let yourself get isolated and lonely or you'll have a much harder time. I (24f) just, as of Thursday, made things official with a guy I have been dating for 3 months. I was in a 4 year relationship before that and we were friends while I was with my ex. My ex and I broke up 9 months ago. I went on a date with my current boyfriend 2 months after the breakup, but I wasn’t ready for a relationship. We continued going on casual dates for 4 months before exclusively dating. I was worried 9 months was too soon to get into another relationship after a long term one, but I was also done with my last relationship before we even broke up. I feel so good with with this new guy that I’m no longer concerned with the timing. I guess you just have to do what feels right sometimes. Dating is meant to bring joy in your life. Why make it forceful because your peers say so? Taking a few months to a year between relationships is okay. It's okay to grieve a lost relationship. Don't rush into anything and give yourself some time to heal. And use this time to focus on loving and bettering yourself. Only then will you attract the right person. A half hearted (or desperate) attempt at a relationship will lead to more misery. ..
I'm 36 and have quite a few relationships of at least a year or longer. Most of my relationships have ended well after they should have, so I felt relieved rather than heart broken. I did have one relationship that lasted about a year and after being dumped, I was completely heartbroken. I tried to stay in his life, thinking he'd come back. Shamefully, I did that for almost three months until he went no contact. It took a good month after that for me to get over the mourning period and stopped thinking about him. I started to see the faults in the relationship and in him that I hadn't wanted to see. It was then that I could move on.
I think you just have to let it take as long as it takes. I know that isn't necessarily helpful if you are currently struggling, but it's all you can do. I would caution against jumping into anything really soon though, especially if that's a pattern for you. Serial monogamy is often a recipe for pent-up issues exploding down the line.
Like 3 to 4 months of no contact usually does it. If they insist on contacting me (which is what has happened before) sometimes adds a couple weeks of "what ifs" but....yeah half a year for sure regardless of whether its a 6 year relationship or a few months. I think a part of me just gets angry about squandering feelings on someone who doesn't want them. I'm sure a marriage would be different or if it was a break up due to practicality but we both still had feelings (which I can't really think of a situation where this would make sense anyway). When I broke up with my ex-fiance, it was after 8 years and I was ready to date pretty much right away. I had already spent a good deal of time falling out of love with him, so by the time I actually told him to hit the bricks there was no emotional attachment at all. The things that had happened over our relationship that led to the breakup were enough of a balm that it just didn't bother me.
It all depends, it is been a good two years for me and I finally feel better but I am still not ready to move forward with someone else. It was my fault that it lasted this long because I agreed to the let's stay just friends idea. You'll never heal if you stay friends well at least pretend to be friends with someone you truly love. She started getting more and more distant and eventually stopped responding to texts and that's when I decided to cut off all ties with her. It's been 5 months of no contact and no stalking any forms of social media and I genuinely feel so much better now. Should also mention that I was the one who got dumped.
It all depends on the factors or the relationship, such as: how long you were together, why you broke up and the list goes on and on. As for me it wasn't too difficult. My ex SO cheated on me and threw me out like garbage so it really made me get over her a lot faster because why would I think about and be sad over not being with a girl like that anymore? I should be relieved! It took about 2 months for it to stop hurting. You'll go through phases of being sad, then pissed and then back to sad. What did I do wrong? Finally you'll level out and just not care anymore, it just doesn't hurt anymore. Sure I'll think about her sometimes and the "what if" factor but it doesn't hurt at all anymore. The past is the past, I've moved on and can't wait to see what the future holds. It gets better friend, it just takes time. There are plenty of fish in the sea :)
I dated a girl for two years and it ended like yours. It wasn't the worst because we were distance when it ended, but that made it weird emotionally since nothing really changed with the breakup. I wasn't depressed, but I wasn't really "normal" feeling single until I actually got hit on by someone else (like 4-6 months later) and was like "oh yeah, single. I can do things and be happier. YES!"
So basically: It depends on the person. Go be social and see where that gets you. Avoid (a little bit) talking to/about her and it'll probably help (going 0 can be unhelpful as going 100% obsessing), as will getting dates. Instead of dates, friend time works well too. Just don't let yourself get isolated and lonely or you'll have a much harder time. I (24f) just, as of Thursday, made things official with a guy I have been dating for 3 months. I was in a 4 year relationship before that and we were friends while I was with my ex. My ex and I broke up 9 months ago. I went on a date with my current boyfriend 2 months after the breakup, but I wasn’t ready for a relationship. We continued going on casual dates for 4 months before exclusively dating. I was worried 9 months was too soon to get into another relationship after a long term one, but I was also done with my last relationship before we even broke up. I feel so good with with this new guy that I’m no longer concerned with the timing. I guess you just have to do what feels right sometimes. Dating is meant to bring joy in your life. Why make it forceful because your peers say so? Taking a few months to a year between relationships is okay. It's okay to grieve a lost relationship. Don't rush into anything and give yourself some time to heal. And use this time to focus on loving and bettering yourself. Only then will you attract the right person. A half hearted (or desperate) attempt at a relationship will lead to more misery. ..
