How do you console a hysterical grieving mother who might lose who adult daughter to a drunk driver?
I can’t be there physically for my friend. What can I do? Her adult daughter, mid-20s, was hit by a drunk driver. She’s in a coma and most likely won’t survive. This is my worst fear. How do you support someone from afar during a time like this?
I imagine she’s receiving multiple messages. If I were in her situation I don’t know how I’d keep up. I’d feel overwhelmed. I can’t imagine the horror of it. The closest I can come was finding out my son was picked up as a John Doe and taken to the county hospital after being beaten up in the parking lot behind a bar, His injuries were not life-threatening, but I was still full of anxiety and fear. The best I can suggest is the humble but practical offering of a meal. It’s so hard to remember to feed yourself and act on it when you’re in deep distress, especially when hospitals are involved. Can you send her a meal from a local restaurant, something that will do nicely when warmed over? I truly appreciated all the meals that came in from friends when my husband had just passed. I couldn’t have managed any cooking. If she’s back where you used to live, you’ll know the place to order from. Or, maybe better, call the restaurant and give them an order and a credit card, and then just tell her all she has to do is call them and say when.
It’s easy to say the wrong thing when you haven’t been there but you are trying to be positive. That’s what happened with a mutual friend. I’ve only offered love and good vibes so far. I just feel like I should do more.
It would be easy to say the wrong thing, I imagine: “I know what you’re going through,” or anything that starts with “I know someone who….” The best message might simply be “I love you and I’m here for you.” Especially if she’s ever been there for you.
If she’s back where you used to live, you’ll know the place to order from. Or, maybe better, call the restaurant and give them an order and a credit card, and then just tell her all she has to do is call them and say when. Helping with a meal was my first instinct. It was difficult for my family when we recently all had Covid. We spent so much money on delivery.
I imagine she’s receiving multiple messages. If I were in her situation I don’t know how I’d keep up. I’d feel overwhelmed. I can’t imagine the horror of it. The closest I can come was finding out my son was picked up as a John Doe and taken to the county hospital after being beaten up in the parking lot behind a bar, His injuries were not life-threatening, but I was still full of anxiety and fear. The best I can suggest is the humble but practical offering of a meal. It’s so hard to remember to feed yourself and act on it when you’re in deep distress, especially when hospitals are involved. Can you send her a meal from a local restaurant, something that will do nicely when warmed over? I truly appreciated all the meals that came in from friends when my husband had just passed. I couldn’t have managed any cooking. If she’s back where you used to live, you’ll know the place to order from. Or, maybe better, call the restaurant and give them an order and a credit card, and then just tell her all she has to do is call them and say when.
It’s easy to say the wrong thing when you haven’t been there but you are trying to be positive. That’s what happened with a mutual friend. I’ve only offered love and good vibes so far. I just feel like I should do more.
It would be easy to say the wrong thing, I imagine: “I know what you’re going through,” or anything that starts with “I know someone who….” The best message might simply be “I love you and I’m here for you.” Especially if she’s ever been there for you.
If she’s back where you used to live, you’ll know the place to order from. Or, maybe better, call the restaurant and give them an order and a credit card, and then just tell her all she has to do is call them and say when. Helping with a meal was my first instinct. It was difficult for my family when we recently all had Covid. We spent so much money on delivery.
