When was the last time someone did something nice for you?
Think about an act of kindness, a thoughtful gift or a time when the perfect words were spoken to you at the precise time you needed to hear them. Who did that for you? What made you appreciate the experience? Were you able to thank the person or people for what they did? If so, what did you say and how did you say it?
In “Do Thank-You Notes Still Matter?,” Shivani Vora writes about some reasons to consider turning to pen and paper to express gratitude:
These days, checking your mailbox can be a disheartening experience. You shuffle past catalogs and bills, riffling through political fliers and advertising postcards addressed to “Resident.” But sometimes, if you’re lucky, you come across an envelope with handwriting that you recognize, thanking you for something you did, or gave. The thank-you note may seem to be an archaic holdover from a time of Rolodexes and rotary phones. But etiquette experts and social observers argue that a handwritten expression of gratitude has never been more important. It can even be a gift itself.
“Thousands of listeners tell us that they’re disappointed in how no one writes notes anymore saying thanks,” said Nick Leighton, the co-host of the etiquette podcast “Were You Raised by Wolves?” A handwritten thank-you note isn’t just a time-honored art, he argues: It’s an act of thoughtfulness that makes our society a better place by encouraging a spirit of generosity and appreciation. And while an emailed thanks is a nice gesture, many experts say that, in this virtual age, a traditional, physical note is more powerful than ever. “In my opinion, old fashioned thank-you notes matter more now than they have in the past because so few people write them,” Maggie Oldham, an etiquette coach based in Indianapolis, said. “Handwritten notes are a differentiator. They show the person you’re thanking that you made a sincere effort to acknowledge their act of kindness or generosity.” The article also includes advice about what to write, courtesy of Marcie Pantzer, the founder of a stationery brand: The ideal note is short and to the point. “I like a three-sentence structure,” she said. Thank the person for the gift or gesture and then be specific about why you appreciate it. Will you use the scarf she gave you this winter to keep you warm, for example, or did you enjoy meeting his friends and eating the delicious meal he cooked at a dinner party? If the person gave you a gift card or cash, how do you plan to spend it? Tell the person how the gift or act made you feel and how much you appreciate the time and thought that went into it. The final sentence can reiterate the thanks and mention your next interaction with the person; for example, “I can’t wait to see you for our dinner in a few weeks” or “I look forward to hearing from you about the next steps in the job process.”
Students, read the entire article, then tell us: Have you ever written a thank-you note? If so, did anyone help you with suggestions about what to write or in choosing the card or piece of paper to write on? If not, are you convinced by the article to start sending more handwritten thank-you notes?
Do you ever find it hard to know what to say when you want to convey your gratitude? What are your concerns? How do you choose between calling the person, sending an email, texting, writing a thank-you note or any other way you might express your gratitude?
Who is someone you would like to thank? If you followed the advice in the article about what to write, what would you say in a thank-you note to that person?
When someone does something kind for you, what are your favorite ways to show your gratitude? Have you ever been thanked in a memorable way for something you did? What was it? How did the person make you feel in expressing his or her thanks?
In “Do Thank-You Notes Still Matter?,” Shivani Vora writes about some reasons to consider turning to pen and paper to express gratitude:
These days, checking your mailbox can be a disheartening experience. You shuffle past catalogs and bills, riffling through political fliers and advertising postcards addressed to “Resident.” But sometimes, if you’re lucky, you come across an envelope with handwriting that you recognize, thanking you for something you did, or gave. The thank-you note may seem to be an archaic holdover from a time of Rolodexes and rotary phones. But etiquette experts and social observers argue that a handwritten expression of gratitude has never been more important. It can even be a gift itself.
“Thousands of listeners tell us that they’re disappointed in how no one writes notes anymore saying thanks,” said Nick Leighton, the co-host of the etiquette podcast “Were You Raised by Wolves?” A handwritten thank-you note isn’t just a time-honored art, he argues: It’s an act of thoughtfulness that makes our society a better place by encouraging a spirit of generosity and appreciation. And while an emailed thanks is a nice gesture, many experts say that, in this virtual age, a traditional, physical note is more powerful than ever. “In my opinion, old fashioned thank-you notes matter more now than they have in the past because so few people write them,” Maggie Oldham, an etiquette coach based in Indianapolis, said. “Handwritten notes are a differentiator. They show the person you’re thanking that you made a sincere effort to acknowledge their act of kindness or generosity.” The article also includes advice about what to write, courtesy of Marcie Pantzer, the founder of a stationery brand: The ideal note is short and to the point. “I like a three-sentence structure,” she said. Thank the person for the gift or gesture and then be specific about why you appreciate it. Will you use the scarf she gave you this winter to keep you warm, for example, or did you enjoy meeting his friends and eating the delicious meal he cooked at a dinner party? If the person gave you a gift card or cash, how do you plan to spend it? Tell the person how the gift or act made you feel and how much you appreciate the time and thought that went into it. The final sentence can reiterate the thanks and mention your next interaction with the person; for example, “I can’t wait to see you for our dinner in a few weeks” or “I look forward to hearing from you about the next steps in the job process.”
Students, read the entire article, then tell us: Have you ever written a thank-you note? If so, did anyone help you with suggestions about what to write or in choosing the card or piece of paper to write on? If not, are you convinced by the article to start sending more handwritten thank-you notes?
Do you ever find it hard to know what to say when you want to convey your gratitude? What are your concerns? How do you choose between calling the person, sending an email, texting, writing a thank-you note or any other way you might express your gratitude?
Who is someone you would like to thank? If you followed the advice in the article about what to write, what would you say in a thank-you note to that person?
When someone does something kind for you, what are your favorite ways to show your gratitude? Have you ever been thanked in a memorable way for something you did? What was it? How did the person make you feel in expressing his or her thanks?
