Do you tend to be extremely cautious about who you choose to trust and put your trust in?
Hi! I recently started my search for a nanny to watch my baby while I work from home. Initially, I was excited about being able to have some help. However, I stumbled across the Nanny sub and now I’m anxious about how it seems like once you hire a nanny, it’s expected to just blindly trust them, and any sort of attempt to remain involved with your child’s day or keeping track of what they’re doing is majorly looked down upon and seen as a red flag.
I understand that some parents may micromanage every little thing and that makes it difficult for a caregiver to do their job. But I am a little shocked to see how much the nanny community looks down upon parents for being overly cautious. I’m looking for help on care.com, and some of the candidates I’m speaking with may not have reviews. They will provide me with references and I’ll do the background check, but still, at the end of the day, I can’t really fully 100% trust someone. So if I want some cameras around the home to occasionally check in, why is that so bad? Why should I feel bad for being over protective of my daughter? I saw a post about someone not wanting to let their nanny take their baby out for a walk, and all the comments said that’s a major red flag. I get that the nobody wants to work for an employer that acts like they don’t trust you - but when it’s your baby involved, why can’t people sympathize with the fact that you sometimes have to be overly cautious and over protective? Is it really the end of the world if I want someone to help watch my baby while I’m home too, for me to occasionally check in and see what’s happening, prefer them to stay in the home? Why should I feel like I’m a bad person for not wanting to fully trust someone I’ve just met?
I am grateful to be able to work from home and be able to spend time with my daughter during my lunch break and other occasional breaks I can take here and there. Up until now I had help from family which had worked out great. But now that I’m in the process of hiring childcare, reading the posts on the Nanny sub has me worried that the only way I’ll be considered a good employer is if I stay locked in my home office all day, not interact with my child, not try to stay updated on what she is up to, and be okay with them going anywhere they want without a worry. Up until now (11 months), I’ve been able to take breaks from work breastfeed (instead of pumping breaks), and occasionally will even do a contact nap when I don’t have meetings and continue to work while my daughter sleeps. I’m still very involved with her day when possible (some days it’s not, some days I have more flexibility). I don’t want to have to completely give these things up and act like I’m not home. I'm sick of society gaslighting us into thinking that being skeptical of people isn't healthy. Many people are malicious, and self serving. There are people that are slaves to their vices, and value those over your trust/love. The person you trust today, may change and have an entirely different worldview in due time.
A relationship is nothing without trust" is how you end up blindsided, and heartbroken by having inappropriate expectations of people. If anything you should expect/trust that everyone you know will eventually disappoint you in some way, and hopefully you'll be pleasantly surprised. DO NOT PUT BLIND FAITH IN ANYONE.
I understand that some parents may micromanage every little thing and that makes it difficult for a caregiver to do their job. But I am a little shocked to see how much the nanny community looks down upon parents for being overly cautious. I’m looking for help on care.com, and some of the candidates I’m speaking with may not have reviews. They will provide me with references and I’ll do the background check, but still, at the end of the day, I can’t really fully 100% trust someone. So if I want some cameras around the home to occasionally check in, why is that so bad? Why should I feel bad for being over protective of my daughter? I saw a post about someone not wanting to let their nanny take their baby out for a walk, and all the comments said that’s a major red flag. I get that the nobody wants to work for an employer that acts like they don’t trust you - but when it’s your baby involved, why can’t people sympathize with the fact that you sometimes have to be overly cautious and over protective? Is it really the end of the world if I want someone to help watch my baby while I’m home too, for me to occasionally check in and see what’s happening, prefer them to stay in the home? Why should I feel like I’m a bad person for not wanting to fully trust someone I’ve just met?
I am grateful to be able to work from home and be able to spend time with my daughter during my lunch break and other occasional breaks I can take here and there. Up until now I had help from family which had worked out great. But now that I’m in the process of hiring childcare, reading the posts on the Nanny sub has me worried that the only way I’ll be considered a good employer is if I stay locked in my home office all day, not interact with my child, not try to stay updated on what she is up to, and be okay with them going anywhere they want without a worry. Up until now (11 months), I’ve been able to take breaks from work breastfeed (instead of pumping breaks), and occasionally will even do a contact nap when I don’t have meetings and continue to work while my daughter sleeps. I’m still very involved with her day when possible (some days it’s not, some days I have more flexibility). I don’t want to have to completely give these things up and act like I’m not home. I'm sick of society gaslighting us into thinking that being skeptical of people isn't healthy. Many people are malicious, and self serving. There are people that are slaves to their vices, and value those over your trust/love. The person you trust today, may change and have an entirely different worldview in due time.
A relationship is nothing without trust" is how you end up blindsided, and heartbroken by having inappropriate expectations of people. If anything you should expect/trust that everyone you know will eventually disappoint you in some way, and hopefully you'll be pleasantly surprised. DO NOT PUT BLIND FAITH IN ANYONE.
