What do you do when you just don't enjoy anything anymore?
Like many people, the pandemic has hit me hard. I live in a small apartment and have been basically trapped in my 10 ft x 10 ft room for the better part of the past 9 months. Before the lockdowns, I was able to outside and hang out at cafes or libraries and come back home to mostly sleep and wind down; now, everything, including working and going to school (which were both escapes from my living situation) are in my room... Since graduating from college, I've been struggling to meet people and always did things by myself. It was bearable, as I'm trying to transition to a new career by taking classes and that brought some sense of excitement in my life and gave me something to look forward to. Even though I'm still on track for the new career, I've been losing motivation and my only source of excitement in life faded away. I tried getting into gaming, but none of the games really interested me. I used to follow sports religiously, but even that's not interesting to me anymore. I tried getting into new TV shows (I thought the Mandalorian was pretty good) but that didn't last long and I'm back to watching the same youtube videos. I'm not sure what I can do. Even before the pandemic, it was hard for me to be social and I wasn't good at "having fun." Not to say my life is meaningless but I really don't feel any "joy" or "excitement" and it's getting hard to even wake up in time for work. I teach kids every other week creative writing, the looks on their faces when I tell them they're doing well are priceless. Also, having a hobby helps; I make beaded bracelets and the patterns/repetitive motions are satisfying and feel good when you finish them, particularly if you're making them for someone by a certain date.
Nothing in life thrills me anymore. I'm starting to think that no matter what I do or who I am with that I won't experience joy anymore. Help.
Just for the record, I am NOT depressed. And I'm not saying this because I'm afraid to be depressed. Quite the contrary, if i was depressed, then I would have a reason for these feelings...but I'm not, it's almost unfortunate. I'm only 19 by the way, but am not really a 19 year old...if you understand what I'm trying to say.
I have no motivation most days. I barely have the motivation to type out this post. I’m so paranoid about my own mind and mental state that it’s impossible to think about anything else for longer than 30 minutes. My mind constantly sabotages my happiness and any means to actually enjoy living. None of my hobbies make me happy or content anymore. I try meditation and my mind makes my body tense and stressed, I try musical instruments and my mind makes me so nervous about messing up that I’m guaranteed to play like shit, I try cooking and I’m anxious to mess anything up which leads to it being mediocre, I can’t even enjoy sleep anymore because I get so stressed out about not being asleep when I go to bed that it keeps me up half the night. I cannot function in social interactions except for with like eight or so people in my life, I literally have one friend but they’re drifting away too cause of the lockdown. I feel like a disappointment to my family cause I’m sort of a black sheep. My anxiety goes through the roof when I’m outside the house and around other people, and even inside the house it tears at me and I can’t do anything about it. Nothing satisfies me anymore. The one thing I sort of looked forward to was therapy cause at least that kind of felt like I was trying to make a change but I don’t even have that anymore, and if this lockdown continues for any longer than another month I legitimately think I might just try and end it. It just feels like this world isn’t made for people like me. Do you do anything that releases huge dopamine bursts regularly? Like certain drugs, do you drink excessively or do you watch porn on a regular basis. If so i can tell you out of experience that cutting these things out of my life helped me immensely, but it’s hard. You won’t veel magically better after a week or even a month, for me it took almost half a year to start noticing the changes it had made to the way my head functioned. But once those dopamine receptors have repaired themselves you’ll most likely find motivation for the things you used to do again. Hope this helps.
I would like to tell you about a way that can increase your happiness, day by day. For a long time, i have been feeling unhappy about my life. However, i recently decided that it was time to turn the unhappiness, into happiness.
What can a person do to bring joy back in their life?
I've been in a downward slump for about two months now where every day actives, de-stressors, hobbies, no long bring me any joy. Even being around my boyfriend no longer provides the same boost of happiness I once had.
This is textbook depression. What I would have said if you didnt say that is, it helps to have things to look forward to, short term and long term. Find some good podcasts and have it playing while youre driving or in whatever kind of downtime, or while doing chores. Likewise there are so many great movies, books, shows, and music that I am frequently upset that life is so short.
What do want. Maybe you need new job boyfriend and activities. It’s not bad to have change. Familiar is safe and keeps us stuck. I think you should go for what you want find people who inspire you find a job that inspires you. Be kind to yourself. You’ve got this. You can live this life without shame.
What are your small joys in life? I'll start with mine...
My small joy is getting a cigarette lit on the first try perfectly. There's just something peaceful about the end flaring up on the first shot.
But none of that matters if you literally are unable to enjoy any of it. So first and foremost you need to address this, you need to speak to someone. It can be managed, it can get better
Every day I go to work, I leave work and sit in my car in the parking lot for about an hour doing basically nothing then I go home and do the same. Once I get in the house I'm back to just sitting on my couch. I have tried to play games, read books, watch tv - anything I can think of but it is no longer appealing to me. I can't get into it anymore.
What can I do to bring joy back to my life? I don't understand why I'm unable to just enjoy things again.
The tools i used for this was a pen and a block of paper. Every night, before going to sleep, i sit down by my bed table, and i write down the good things that have happened to me during the day. I have started writing down even the smallest event, as long as they made me feel happy, or good about myself.
An example: 2. March 2013
Played the guitar again
Had a pizza with my good friend
Had a good talk with mom on the phone
You can put down as many things on the list as you'd like. However there might be days where you feel unhappy, and you dont feel that you have anything to write at all. Whenever this happens, read the list of good things you have written so far. By every day there will be more added to the list, and there will be more good things to help you cheer up again. Be careful that it doesnt just turn into a diary. Write only the things that made you feel happy and good about yourself.
Nothing in life thrills me anymore. I'm starting to think that no matter what I do or who I am with that I won't experience joy anymore. Help.
Just for the record, I am NOT depressed. And I'm not saying this because I'm afraid to be depressed. Quite the contrary, if i was depressed, then I would have a reason for these feelings...but I'm not, it's almost unfortunate. I'm only 19 by the way, but am not really a 19 year old...if you understand what I'm trying to say.
I have no motivation most days. I barely have the motivation to type out this post. I’m so paranoid about my own mind and mental state that it’s impossible to think about anything else for longer than 30 minutes. My mind constantly sabotages my happiness and any means to actually enjoy living. None of my hobbies make me happy or content anymore. I try meditation and my mind makes my body tense and stressed, I try musical instruments and my mind makes me so nervous about messing up that I’m guaranteed to play like shit, I try cooking and I’m anxious to mess anything up which leads to it being mediocre, I can’t even enjoy sleep anymore because I get so stressed out about not being asleep when I go to bed that it keeps me up half the night. I cannot function in social interactions except for with like eight or so people in my life, I literally have one friend but they’re drifting away too cause of the lockdown. I feel like a disappointment to my family cause I’m sort of a black sheep. My anxiety goes through the roof when I’m outside the house and around other people, and even inside the house it tears at me and I can’t do anything about it. Nothing satisfies me anymore. The one thing I sort of looked forward to was therapy cause at least that kind of felt like I was trying to make a change but I don’t even have that anymore, and if this lockdown continues for any longer than another month I legitimately think I might just try and end it. It just feels like this world isn’t made for people like me. Do you do anything that releases huge dopamine bursts regularly? Like certain drugs, do you drink excessively or do you watch porn on a regular basis. If so i can tell you out of experience that cutting these things out of my life helped me immensely, but it’s hard. You won’t veel magically better after a week or even a month, for me it took almost half a year to start noticing the changes it had made to the way my head functioned. But once those dopamine receptors have repaired themselves you’ll most likely find motivation for the things you used to do again. Hope this helps.
I would like to tell you about a way that can increase your happiness, day by day. For a long time, i have been feeling unhappy about my life. However, i recently decided that it was time to turn the unhappiness, into happiness.
What can a person do to bring joy back in their life?
I've been in a downward slump for about two months now where every day actives, de-stressors, hobbies, no long bring me any joy. Even being around my boyfriend no longer provides the same boost of happiness I once had.
This is textbook depression. What I would have said if you didnt say that is, it helps to have things to look forward to, short term and long term. Find some good podcasts and have it playing while youre driving or in whatever kind of downtime, or while doing chores. Likewise there are so many great movies, books, shows, and music that I am frequently upset that life is so short.
What do want. Maybe you need new job boyfriend and activities. It’s not bad to have change. Familiar is safe and keeps us stuck. I think you should go for what you want find people who inspire you find a job that inspires you. Be kind to yourself. You’ve got this. You can live this life without shame.
What are your small joys in life? I'll start with mine...
My small joy is getting a cigarette lit on the first try perfectly. There's just something peaceful about the end flaring up on the first shot.
But none of that matters if you literally are unable to enjoy any of it. So first and foremost you need to address this, you need to speak to someone. It can be managed, it can get better
Every day I go to work, I leave work and sit in my car in the parking lot for about an hour doing basically nothing then I go home and do the same. Once I get in the house I'm back to just sitting on my couch. I have tried to play games, read books, watch tv - anything I can think of but it is no longer appealing to me. I can't get into it anymore.
What can I do to bring joy back to my life? I don't understand why I'm unable to just enjoy things again.
The tools i used for this was a pen and a block of paper. Every night, before going to sleep, i sit down by my bed table, and i write down the good things that have happened to me during the day. I have started writing down even the smallest event, as long as they made me feel happy, or good about myself.
An example: 2. March 2013
Played the guitar again
Had a pizza with my good friend
Had a good talk with mom on the phone
You can put down as many things on the list as you'd like. However there might be days where you feel unhappy, and you dont feel that you have anything to write at all. Whenever this happens, read the list of good things you have written so far. By every day there will be more added to the list, and there will be more good things to help you cheer up again. Be careful that it doesnt just turn into a diary. Write only the things that made you feel happy and good about yourself.
