How do I develop a more competitive nature?
I'm a pretty easy going person and for the most part and my self confidence is just fine. I've never been really into competitive sports but I do enjoy working out. I'm just starting out in my career and I feel like it would be beneficial for me to develop a bit of a competitive nature to excel at my job. One of my friends is all about crossfit and right now that's something I'm considering. Any other ideas? Children are taught to be competitive from their earliest days of development, via sports, grades, mating rituals, etc ... We assume that's just our nature but I'm here to suggest that competition can and should play a MUCH smaller role in human affairs.
I'm only 22, but as long as I can remember I've been an extremely competitive person - I strive to be better than everyone else and if I fail to meet those expectations I become very agitated and verbal. It's never gotten to the point of physically lashing out or breaking things, but I get really angry and talk a lot of trash if I or my team isn't performing well. This has caused me to destroy a lot of relationships I've had with others - friends stop wanting to play with me and it caused serious issues with my ex.
I've tried so many different things - I've tried adjusting my mentality, I've tried taking a small break from competitive games, I've even given up completely some of the games that have frustrated me the most. No matter what, I eventually go back to getting tilted and toxic in any game I play that has a performance standard, even if it's single player. I can't help but feel like I'm never going to be able to develop a relationship or friendship with anybody that involves gaming, and I'm afraid of constantly driving people away like I have been.
Any kind of advice for people who have been in my shoes? Is it something that mellows out as I grow older? Is this something I need to actively seek professional help with?
If we look to nature for a guide we will find, and Darwin noted, most animal species cooperate rather than compete for survival. Sure, they compete for mates but they do not, by and large, compete with each other for food and water. They graze in herds and can be seen alerting each other to danger, fending off threats and so forth. All clear signs of cooperation.
How do you subdue your competitive nature?
I grew up in a small town playing games with my friends and family. Games were how we entertained ourselves. When I played football, basketball, baseball, video games, checkers, chess, poker, and even golf, I always wanted to win. Competition is engrained into my being. If I lose, or am losing, I get irritated.
Now, as a thirty-three year old, I have trouble shutting off the competitive mind. I’ve been playing a lot of chess online and the quality of my day can be drastically influenced by whether I win or lose. I live with my partner and she always kicks my ass at scrabble. We play to enjoy ourselves, but my sulking during the game is a bummer for her.
For my fellow competitive fellows, how do you/did you turn down the competitive dial? How do you accept losing and still try to have fun during the game
Humans, conversely, have turned life itself into a competition. We literally prey on each other for money, which is the lifeblood of our survival. We lie, cheat and steal to get our hands on it and have devoted centuries of philosophy to creating complex moral frameworks that find ways to justify whatever ethical framework is in vogue at the moment.
I predict that humans will some day reverse course and seek ways to minimize the need to compete with one another, finally realizing how destructive it is to our own fortunes. How has your competitive nature changed?
I have a serious issue with time allocation towards games, and part of it is the satisfaction of improvement, and seeing myself improve. I find myself playing games until I reach the pinnacle of reward, and then I end up quitting. I rarely play "cinematic" single player experiences. I play extremely competitive multiplayer games to the point of saturation.
I've gotten grandmaster in Starcraft, legend in hearthstone, master in black ops 2 (last cod I played), and have been grinding my ass off for top 500 in overwatch as I've just noticed I'm so into this grind I've been skipping school, which is obviously a problem. Basically what I'm asking is, to those who had similar experiences with competitive games, have you managed to transfer some of that nature into the real world? Where are you now? Do you occasionally play games non-competitively still? How do you keep a competitive spirit without being a sore loser? What are some ways to get your competitive spirit back? How can a man develop a larger competitive drive?
I'm not that competitive and I wish it was. I get anxious during competition and I wish I didn't. It's a huge weakness of mine that I want to work on.
For example, during sports I just don't get "in the game" and let other people take the ball from me. I'd say I'm more fit than the average guy (5'10, 165 lbs, run half marathons and lift) with decent muscle mass, so I don't think its a fitness issue - it's a mental one. Are there are any mental cues you competitive men use? Should I "fake it till I make it?" Kobe Bryant is someone I admire for his "Mamba Mentality." This man was competitive to the point of insanity, but it's really admirable and it got him so far. How can I kill my competitive spirit?
I've always been a competitive person. I love being first and I get even more gratification when I do well and everyone else doesn't. This kind of behavior/thought process was enforced by both my parents and the academic environment that I was in. Over the past year or so, I've realized that this sort of behavior/thought process is unhealthy. However, even though I realize that the way I think is wrong, being the best is the only source of real gratification in my life. I'm going to college in the fall and I'm looking for a fresh start. How can I kill my competitive streak and be content with myself even if I'm not the best at something? I feel like I will be more successful if I have a competitive edge and I think having a competitive spirit will make me more motivated. Unfortunately, I feel like the least competitive person on the planet. How do I become more competitive?
I'm only 22, but as long as I can remember I've been an extremely competitive person - I strive to be better than everyone else and if I fail to meet those expectations I become very agitated and verbal. It's never gotten to the point of physically lashing out or breaking things, but I get really angry and talk a lot of trash if I or my team isn't performing well. This has caused me to destroy a lot of relationships I've had with others - friends stop wanting to play with me and it caused serious issues with my ex.
I've tried so many different things - I've tried adjusting my mentality, I've tried taking a small break from competitive games, I've even given up completely some of the games that have frustrated me the most. No matter what, I eventually go back to getting tilted and toxic in any game I play that has a performance standard, even if it's single player. I can't help but feel like I'm never going to be able to develop a relationship or friendship with anybody that involves gaming, and I'm afraid of constantly driving people away like I have been.
Any kind of advice for people who have been in my shoes? Is it something that mellows out as I grow older? Is this something I need to actively seek professional help with?
If we look to nature for a guide we will find, and Darwin noted, most animal species cooperate rather than compete for survival. Sure, they compete for mates but they do not, by and large, compete with each other for food and water. They graze in herds and can be seen alerting each other to danger, fending off threats and so forth. All clear signs of cooperation.
How do you subdue your competitive nature?
I grew up in a small town playing games with my friends and family. Games were how we entertained ourselves. When I played football, basketball, baseball, video games, checkers, chess, poker, and even golf, I always wanted to win. Competition is engrained into my being. If I lose, or am losing, I get irritated.
Now, as a thirty-three year old, I have trouble shutting off the competitive mind. I’ve been playing a lot of chess online and the quality of my day can be drastically influenced by whether I win or lose. I live with my partner and she always kicks my ass at scrabble. We play to enjoy ourselves, but my sulking during the game is a bummer for her.
For my fellow competitive fellows, how do you/did you turn down the competitive dial? How do you accept losing and still try to have fun during the game
Humans, conversely, have turned life itself into a competition. We literally prey on each other for money, which is the lifeblood of our survival. We lie, cheat and steal to get our hands on it and have devoted centuries of philosophy to creating complex moral frameworks that find ways to justify whatever ethical framework is in vogue at the moment.
I predict that humans will some day reverse course and seek ways to minimize the need to compete with one another, finally realizing how destructive it is to our own fortunes. How has your competitive nature changed?
I have a serious issue with time allocation towards games, and part of it is the satisfaction of improvement, and seeing myself improve. I find myself playing games until I reach the pinnacle of reward, and then I end up quitting. I rarely play "cinematic" single player experiences. I play extremely competitive multiplayer games to the point of saturation.
I've gotten grandmaster in Starcraft, legend in hearthstone, master in black ops 2 (last cod I played), and have been grinding my ass off for top 500 in overwatch as I've just noticed I'm so into this grind I've been skipping school, which is obviously a problem. Basically what I'm asking is, to those who had similar experiences with competitive games, have you managed to transfer some of that nature into the real world? Where are you now? Do you occasionally play games non-competitively still? How do you keep a competitive spirit without being a sore loser? What are some ways to get your competitive spirit back? How can a man develop a larger competitive drive?
I'm not that competitive and I wish it was. I get anxious during competition and I wish I didn't. It's a huge weakness of mine that I want to work on.
For example, during sports I just don't get "in the game" and let other people take the ball from me. I'd say I'm more fit than the average guy (5'10, 165 lbs, run half marathons and lift) with decent muscle mass, so I don't think its a fitness issue - it's a mental one. Are there are any mental cues you competitive men use? Should I "fake it till I make it?" Kobe Bryant is someone I admire for his "Mamba Mentality." This man was competitive to the point of insanity, but it's really admirable and it got him so far. How can I kill my competitive spirit?
I've always been a competitive person. I love being first and I get even more gratification when I do well and everyone else doesn't. This kind of behavior/thought process was enforced by both my parents and the academic environment that I was in. Over the past year or so, I've realized that this sort of behavior/thought process is unhealthy. However, even though I realize that the way I think is wrong, being the best is the only source of real gratification in my life. I'm going to college in the fall and I'm looking for a fresh start. How can I kill my competitive streak and be content with myself even if I'm not the best at something? I feel like I will be more successful if I have a competitive edge and I think having a competitive spirit will make me more motivated. Unfortunately, I feel like the least competitive person on the planet. How do I become more competitive?
