When was the last time you faced failure, rejection or adversity?
How did you handle the situation? Does it still bother you or were you able to deal with it and move on?
How resilient are you when it comes to dealing with setbacks or challenges? Are you able to accept the outcome, process it and move on? Or do you tend to dwell on what went wrong? After reading this article, are you convinced that talking about your failures would make you happier and more productive in the future? Why or why not? Have you ever shared your struggles with a friend or trusted adult, or has anyone ever opened up to you about their challenges? If so, what was this experience like? Did you learn anything from it? Did you find it helpful? Why or why not? What role do you think social media plays in our inability to admit defeat? In your opinion, does social media make us more or less resilient? Why?
Can you recall a time when you were able to successfully overcome a failure or challenge? How did you do it? What advice do you have for others who are facing tough times?
Over the years, how have you become more resilient?
It can be so hard to develop a thicker skin, to bounce back from failure or to make the best of a bad situation. What helped you? What makes you resilient?
I think most of us know what makes people successful at work. Time management skills, consistency, mental health clarity, curiosity, proactivity, good communication skills, etc. These have become buzzwords of sorts.
There definitely isn't a one-size-fits-all formula for success, and success is defined differently for all of us. Despite that, we all had to find ways to stand out and put our foot through a door and grow to meet our goals. I think without a level of proficiency in these basic skills, we can't progress very far in anything in life.
Everyone also faces complex challenges. Grad school tends to be an environment that pits you against yourself because we are essentially handed the reins and told 'you have the freedom to choose what happens next,' and sometimes we feel unprepared or unable to take advantage of that opportunity.
That is currently the position that I am in, so I am most interested in addressing the problem of resiliency, and defining how others approach complex challenges and work through them and find success, regardless of what the issue may be.
What strategies do you employ to work past challenging circumstances?
What strengths do you have that made you particularly good at doing so?
How were you able to develop those core strengths? Did you do so before/during grad school? Can you think of any life circumstances that set you up to achieve these strengths?
Were you ever unable to face a challenge? What was the outcome, and if you feel ok sharing, how do you currently manage the problem/challenge?
What do you think about resiliency as a concept or a trait? What’s your best method for clearing your mind and feel stronger and more resilient emotionally when you’re worried, stressed, or upset?
The importancy of resilience Resilience is to your personality what muscle strength is to your body. When you lift, you push your muscles to the point of failure due to mechanical stress, and through this cycle of injury and repair, the muscles get strengthened so you can push yourself even further next time. When you encounter adverse situations in life, it's not your physique but your personality which gets tested. You either power through or like the majority of people you give up and spend a lifetime denying your lack of courage.
By facing adversity and refusing to run you grow stronger. Succes is not a requirement. All it requires is your refusal to give in to the tempting calls of failure and stagnation, to the people around you telling you not to push yourself to your limit. They want to see you fail, because when you refuse to give up on your goals, you remind them of how easily they gave up on theirs. When you don't give up, ever, you will gain universal admiration as soon as you achieve success; it is an intavability for a man who'll give up only when he's dead. Either he becomes succesful, or he dies while pushing himself to be the man other people read motivational quotes about.
Do you think such a man would think back on his life after a lifetime of not giving up in the face of adversity, and think ruefully to himself: "I wish I was merely content, and didn't pursue my dreams. I wish I'd spent my life admiring other people instead of battling my own demons despite seemingly impossible odds." It's impossible to even imagine that somebody like Henry Ford would've had regrets if he had died before achieving success. People would say he spend a life knowing only failure, but the opposite is true: when you refuse to give up in the face of failure, when you pursue goals and dreams that the average man never even considers, that is truly being succesfull.
Other people will only acknowledge your success when they see material success, like a company, or winning a gold medal. But ironically men like Henry Ford, who'd rather die than give up, have been succesfull all along. Their reign of success started reight where the average people will say his streak of failures started. On Ford's 3th attempt, when he succeeded, nothing changed inside of him. He was extremely determined to be successfull, so success was the initivable end result. If he'd failed on his 3th attempt, he'd have tried again, and again, and again. His success was the inetivable result produced by an extremely resilient personality which was forged through hardship, adversity and mockery. His car company, which still exists today, is merely the evidence of him being successfull, not the source of his success. He'd have been equally successfull without it, because he was resilient, and being resilient is a form of success in itself. Being resilient is intrinsically rewarding, in a way risk-averse people will never experience.
Heroes, from contemporary times up till now, are made, not born. People who succeed at life don't emerge from the womb being the people who they are. They are universally forged in the fires of adversity. They fail, the learn, they fail again, and become stronger each time. Without their failures building their resilience, allowing them to face bigger obstacles each and every time, they wouldn't have become the men they were. I've long made up my mind. I will never give up, giving up is worse than dying. The soothing low effort embrace of mediocrity holds no more appeal to me, as I've spend time in its embrace, and sadly know it too well. It is a false type of contentness, it's self deception. Mediocrity is heroin for the soul, but it is fake, and you can't really be happy being mediocre if you are aware of your true potential without even trying to live up to it due to fear of failure. You constantly have your hopes and dreams gnawing their way out from inside you and the pain of surpressing your potential is worse than the pain of repeated failures or mockery and pity from the average and the content. I will realise my dream or I will spit fate in the face as I die trying. Extreme people only emerge from extreme conditions.
Resilience is a trait that is only build through enduring hardship and putting yourself at risk of failure. Resilience is one of the traits that's common in all people that are successfull and admired. Success without resilience is like a house without a foundation: when the storm hits, it's gone, and so is it inhabitant. It's the reason why the spoiled rich kid squandering the family fortune and becoming a drug addict stereotype exists. It's because he's never faced hardship and no amount of wealth can buy you resilience. Your experiences: I'm eager to hear your experiences regarding resilience. Have any of you also spend long years apathic and lethargic? Do you agree that only by being pushed to the edge of breaking men can rise above mediocrity? How can I build resilience?
I am wavering, drowning, close to giving up, close to quitting so much that is worth fighting for. I want to be resilient. I want to keep going.
I had a hard time growing up with my mother. Simply because she doesn't understand me. One of the worst feelings in the world in my opinion is when the person you love the most doesn't understand you. Fortunately I have a very cool, open-minded, supportive, very understanding Dad who helped me develop my personal growth and influence my perspective of the world. Whenever I had a fight with my mom, I'd turn around to him as he understands me.
The words of advice he gave me are still with me to these days. He said...
"Your mom has been living with that attitude for decades. It's almost impossible for her change. You have only been around for 10+ years. You still have a long way to go. What you can do now is to take control of your attitude. Take this opportunity to train your mind, or test your mind, to see how far you can compete with youself. Be patient. Be calm. Your mind has muscles. The more you train it, the stronger it becomes, and the easier it becomes."
I simply had no choice but to practise the art of resilience, staying calm, being patient, and understanding when dealing with fiery people and inevitable difficult circumstances in life. One after another. From dealing with hot-tempered individuals, to all sorts of annoying, irritating beings and frustrating situations, I see it as an opportunity to train my mind.
Surprisingly, the result is quite rewarding - as if you've been able to lose 20 kg, quit smoking, or whatever vice you may have!!!
It's the same trick it does to the mind.
Self-control might sound like an ugly word. But being able to control yourself, afterwards you feel highly rewarded.
Your self-esteem increases.
Your confidence rises up,
Your fear starts disappearing.
Your comfort zone expands in the way that you are now more confident that you can handle any tough tasks coming at you.
Give it a go today. Just start from little things in life that make you roll your eyes. One mental and emotional challenge a day.
Bad weather? Chill.
Crying babies on the plane? Relax.
Hot-tempered boss? Be calm and collected.
Co-workers stressing out? Be resilient.
Computer stuffing up? Be patient.
Stuck in traffic? Be calm.
Abusive boyfriend? Dramatic girlfriend? Be as cool as ice that stops the fire.
See how you feel in a week's time. Tell me then if you don't feel empowered and powerful.
When you feel like you can control your mind, you'll find like the world is your oyster.
This is just the beginning...
I'm 26 M. I hate being mentally weak. I constantly whine to my friends . I constantly compare myself to others. When things go bad, I basically would give up entirely and only thought in my mind would be how to kill myself. I hate living like this. I want to change but any change I try to make me feel overwhelming and anxious all the time.
I live in India and I can't really afford therapy.
How resilient are you when it comes to dealing with setbacks or challenges? Are you able to accept the outcome, process it and move on? Or do you tend to dwell on what went wrong? After reading this article, are you convinced that talking about your failures would make you happier and more productive in the future? Why or why not? Have you ever shared your struggles with a friend or trusted adult, or has anyone ever opened up to you about their challenges? If so, what was this experience like? Did you learn anything from it? Did you find it helpful? Why or why not? What role do you think social media plays in our inability to admit defeat? In your opinion, does social media make us more or less resilient? Why?
Can you recall a time when you were able to successfully overcome a failure or challenge? How did you do it? What advice do you have for others who are facing tough times?
Over the years, how have you become more resilient?
It can be so hard to develop a thicker skin, to bounce back from failure or to make the best of a bad situation. What helped you? What makes you resilient?
I think most of us know what makes people successful at work. Time management skills, consistency, mental health clarity, curiosity, proactivity, good communication skills, etc. These have become buzzwords of sorts.
There definitely isn't a one-size-fits-all formula for success, and success is defined differently for all of us. Despite that, we all had to find ways to stand out and put our foot through a door and grow to meet our goals. I think without a level of proficiency in these basic skills, we can't progress very far in anything in life.
Everyone also faces complex challenges. Grad school tends to be an environment that pits you against yourself because we are essentially handed the reins and told 'you have the freedom to choose what happens next,' and sometimes we feel unprepared or unable to take advantage of that opportunity.
That is currently the position that I am in, so I am most interested in addressing the problem of resiliency, and defining how others approach complex challenges and work through them and find success, regardless of what the issue may be.
What strategies do you employ to work past challenging circumstances?
What strengths do you have that made you particularly good at doing so?
How were you able to develop those core strengths? Did you do so before/during grad school? Can you think of any life circumstances that set you up to achieve these strengths?
Were you ever unable to face a challenge? What was the outcome, and if you feel ok sharing, how do you currently manage the problem/challenge?
What do you think about resiliency as a concept or a trait? What’s your best method for clearing your mind and feel stronger and more resilient emotionally when you’re worried, stressed, or upset?
The importancy of resilience Resilience is to your personality what muscle strength is to your body. When you lift, you push your muscles to the point of failure due to mechanical stress, and through this cycle of injury and repair, the muscles get strengthened so you can push yourself even further next time. When you encounter adverse situations in life, it's not your physique but your personality which gets tested. You either power through or like the majority of people you give up and spend a lifetime denying your lack of courage.
By facing adversity and refusing to run you grow stronger. Succes is not a requirement. All it requires is your refusal to give in to the tempting calls of failure and stagnation, to the people around you telling you not to push yourself to your limit. They want to see you fail, because when you refuse to give up on your goals, you remind them of how easily they gave up on theirs. When you don't give up, ever, you will gain universal admiration as soon as you achieve success; it is an intavability for a man who'll give up only when he's dead. Either he becomes succesful, or he dies while pushing himself to be the man other people read motivational quotes about.
Do you think such a man would think back on his life after a lifetime of not giving up in the face of adversity, and think ruefully to himself: "I wish I was merely content, and didn't pursue my dreams. I wish I'd spent my life admiring other people instead of battling my own demons despite seemingly impossible odds." It's impossible to even imagine that somebody like Henry Ford would've had regrets if he had died before achieving success. People would say he spend a life knowing only failure, but the opposite is true: when you refuse to give up in the face of failure, when you pursue goals and dreams that the average man never even considers, that is truly being succesfull.
Other people will only acknowledge your success when they see material success, like a company, or winning a gold medal. But ironically men like Henry Ford, who'd rather die than give up, have been succesfull all along. Their reign of success started reight where the average people will say his streak of failures started. On Ford's 3th attempt, when he succeeded, nothing changed inside of him. He was extremely determined to be successfull, so success was the initivable end result. If he'd failed on his 3th attempt, he'd have tried again, and again, and again. His success was the inetivable result produced by an extremely resilient personality which was forged through hardship, adversity and mockery. His car company, which still exists today, is merely the evidence of him being successfull, not the source of his success. He'd have been equally successfull without it, because he was resilient, and being resilient is a form of success in itself. Being resilient is intrinsically rewarding, in a way risk-averse people will never experience.
Heroes, from contemporary times up till now, are made, not born. People who succeed at life don't emerge from the womb being the people who they are. They are universally forged in the fires of adversity. They fail, the learn, they fail again, and become stronger each time. Without their failures building their resilience, allowing them to face bigger obstacles each and every time, they wouldn't have become the men they were. I've long made up my mind. I will never give up, giving up is worse than dying. The soothing low effort embrace of mediocrity holds no more appeal to me, as I've spend time in its embrace, and sadly know it too well. It is a false type of contentness, it's self deception. Mediocrity is heroin for the soul, but it is fake, and you can't really be happy being mediocre if you are aware of your true potential without even trying to live up to it due to fear of failure. You constantly have your hopes and dreams gnawing their way out from inside you and the pain of surpressing your potential is worse than the pain of repeated failures or mockery and pity from the average and the content. I will realise my dream or I will spit fate in the face as I die trying. Extreme people only emerge from extreme conditions.
Resilience is a trait that is only build through enduring hardship and putting yourself at risk of failure. Resilience is one of the traits that's common in all people that are successfull and admired. Success without resilience is like a house without a foundation: when the storm hits, it's gone, and so is it inhabitant. It's the reason why the spoiled rich kid squandering the family fortune and becoming a drug addict stereotype exists. It's because he's never faced hardship and no amount of wealth can buy you resilience. Your experiences: I'm eager to hear your experiences regarding resilience. Have any of you also spend long years apathic and lethargic? Do you agree that only by being pushed to the edge of breaking men can rise above mediocrity? How can I build resilience?
I am wavering, drowning, close to giving up, close to quitting so much that is worth fighting for. I want to be resilient. I want to keep going.
I had a hard time growing up with my mother. Simply because she doesn't understand me. One of the worst feelings in the world in my opinion is when the person you love the most doesn't understand you. Fortunately I have a very cool, open-minded, supportive, very understanding Dad who helped me develop my personal growth and influence my perspective of the world. Whenever I had a fight with my mom, I'd turn around to him as he understands me.
The words of advice he gave me are still with me to these days. He said...
"Your mom has been living with that attitude for decades. It's almost impossible for her change. You have only been around for 10+ years. You still have a long way to go. What you can do now is to take control of your attitude. Take this opportunity to train your mind, or test your mind, to see how far you can compete with youself. Be patient. Be calm. Your mind has muscles. The more you train it, the stronger it becomes, and the easier it becomes."
I simply had no choice but to practise the art of resilience, staying calm, being patient, and understanding when dealing with fiery people and inevitable difficult circumstances in life. One after another. From dealing with hot-tempered individuals, to all sorts of annoying, irritating beings and frustrating situations, I see it as an opportunity to train my mind.
Surprisingly, the result is quite rewarding - as if you've been able to lose 20 kg, quit smoking, or whatever vice you may have!!!
It's the same trick it does to the mind.
Self-control might sound like an ugly word. But being able to control yourself, afterwards you feel highly rewarded.
Your self-esteem increases.
Your confidence rises up,
Your fear starts disappearing.
Your comfort zone expands in the way that you are now more confident that you can handle any tough tasks coming at you.
Give it a go today. Just start from little things in life that make you roll your eyes. One mental and emotional challenge a day.
Bad weather? Chill.
Crying babies on the plane? Relax.
Hot-tempered boss? Be calm and collected.
Co-workers stressing out? Be resilient.
Computer stuffing up? Be patient.
Stuck in traffic? Be calm.
Abusive boyfriend? Dramatic girlfriend? Be as cool as ice that stops the fire.
See how you feel in a week's time. Tell me then if you don't feel empowered and powerful.
When you feel like you can control your mind, you'll find like the world is your oyster.
This is just the beginning...
I'm 26 M. I hate being mentally weak. I constantly whine to my friends . I constantly compare myself to others. When things go bad, I basically would give up entirely and only thought in my mind would be how to kill myself. I hate living like this. I want to change but any change I try to make me feel overwhelming and anxious all the time.
I live in India and I can't really afford therapy.
