Anyone else find themselves craving praise?
...and never/rarely getting it. How do you deal with this? Any coping mechanisms? For me; I just feel hugely underappreciated sometimes; and that people don't notice all that I do and deal with, and sometimes despite my best efforts this gets me down. So, I'd really like to be able to deal with this better. Is it just me? I recently learned men are rarely complimented and when they are it makes their day/week/month
I was reading on some random sub about things that make your day when a Redditor said he's rarely complimented. He went on to tell how someone said he looked good in new jeans and how he still thinks of this random compliment and smiles. What followed next was many more male redditors jumping on and telling similar rarely complimented stories. I now find excuses to complement men (without coming across as flirting). "Hey! Your hair is great today!" Or "geeze that blue sure compliments your eyes" because I would always say something nice like that to a woman and men certainly deserve the little pick-me-up we get each day.. How do you feel about receiving compliments or praise? I don’t like getting praised
Growing up, sometimes I get praised by teachers because I did something well and would say in this cheesy voice. This usually cause me to not try to do things well because I hate being praised. I don’t actually have a proper reason to hate getting praised I think it’s just something I don’t like. I'd rather have people praise me for talent than hard work
I've seen often people say that praising someone for their talent is bad cause it assumes that person didn't work hard and just could do it easily.
How do you like to be complimented?
It seems there are many ways to compliment a woman, but I'm coming up short when I try to compliment a guy using general terminology to describe his physical attributes.
Like I might tell someone about something good that I did and it will go one of two ways: 1. They don't seem to care/Don't really say much. I don't really like it because I was expecting them to at least say well done or something. Or 2. They praise be but then I don't know how to respond and it feels awkward. Idk if this makes any sense to you but what do you think?
Cute? Adorable? Gorgeous? Handsome? Sexy? Hot? Dashing?
What is the greatest compliment a man (or woman) can give you to make you blush?
And when to get more specific? "Your adorable crooked smile makes me want to make out with you for hours."
How often do you get compliments in real life?
There's this idea in my close group of friends, and perhaps larger male communities that women on average receive many compliments daily. It is almost certain that on average women receive more compliments than men, but how much more? Perhaps you could share when and what was the last compliment you received.
In case you happen to have a SO, i'm not interested in their compliments, because in that context that's very likely you get complimented from them. More like friends, acquaintances or random people.
Why is it difficult to accept a sincere, no strings attached compliment?
I have been dating my boyfriend for two years. I absolutely adore him. However, he shies away nearly every time I say something nice about him. Like literally just doesn’t say anything at all.
I am sincerely saying what’s in my heart, and NOT for the “I said something nice about you, say something nice about me” motive.
I’m not being over the top. I’m saying things like “you look good in that shirt,” not “you’re the hottest guy to ever walk the earth” (even though he is). Please help me be able to show my love and to have him receive it. It is starting to feel like rejection and I’m feeling as if I need to shut my own feelings down.
Thank you for reading, have an amazing day!
How do you like women to compliment your physical attributes? (I'm all set on non-physical things; I'm a teacher and can see and describe character and intelligence very well).
While I agree with this I still prefer being complimented for talent than hard work. Working hard is not special. Anyone can do it just by sacrificing time.
What kind of compliments do you like getting?
When I'm praised for talent I feel like I'm being acknowledged for the person i am, not the person I'm trying to be. People shouldn't try to excel at things the cannot do easily. I admire people more who have realized what they are good at and what they enjoy doing and not be obsessed about being able to do things they don't have a hand for.
What kind of compliments do you like to hear from men (specifically related to your looks)?
I'm notoriously bad at giving compliments. Which is not to say I give bad compliments ("No, you don't look that fat."). But I just generally don't give them at all.
It's not because I'm not thinking that the girl I'm with is pretty, I just don't know what to say and a little afraid of saying the wrong thing.
Hello I’m a woman in her 20s, and I wanted to get some advice on what type of compliments I can give to the guy I am in the early stages of dating.
I always want to tell him he’s beautiful, pretty, cute, etc but I feel these are too girly/feminine?
Please tell me the types of compliments you like to receive and different words of affirmation that I could say to him. I just want to make him feel special.
So, ladies of Reddit, if you're walking up to meet someone you've been on a few dates with, how would you like him to complete the following sentence:
I was wondering what is the best way to handle compliments, such as when someone says "you're the most intelligent person I know" (happened at work the other day). I usually get quiet and say "thank you" or "I doubt that..."
This may seem like a small or inconsequential behavior, but the ability to receive a compliment graciously is extremely important in social interactions.
Even if you are attempting to be humble, downplaying a compliment will backfire on you. When someone gives a compliment, they are putting themselves out there. Downplaying a compliment is in essence a form of rejection; if their compliment is sincere, you are negating a feeling they had about you and were willing to express. They will be less likely to open themselves up to you in that manner in the future. Additionally, downplaying a compliment will make you seem insecure and unsure of yourself, not humble.
The same holds true for returning compliments. On the surface, it seems like a friendly and polite thing to do. However, it comes of as being insincere. You are not giving someone a compliment based on something they did themselves, but rather as a favor for saying something nice about you. This will likely make them feel the opposite of how you intended when you returned the compliment.
If you receive a compliment, embrace it. If someone says something to you that is impactful, try to stay present in the moment and remember it for when you need it in the future. There is nothing egotistical about this. Tell them how it makes you feel. Simply saying “Thank you, that means a lot to me” is all you need if you mean it.
I feel as though there are some nice classy ways of saying thank you to something like this. I may very well be over thinking this.
"Wow, you look _______!"
I saw a girl with a pretty unconventional haircut today, and it looked really good on her, but I didn't say anything about it because I wouldn't want her to feel like I was flirting/make her feel uncomfortable about a compliment from a random person she doesn't know. How do you deal with giving and receiving compliments from people you don't know.
By the way, I have no problem telling the women I'm dating that they're intelligent, thoughtful and funny. It's the looks thing that throws me for a loop.
When I'm good at something and someone says "Wow you must have worked really hard for that" then I do not like that as much as it implies I'd do things just to show off and not cause I enjoy them.. Is it normal to hate getting praised?
Every time I get praised I always get really awkward or a felling of shame, I just feel like I didn't do anything special that deserves getting praised, I just did what you ask me to do or what was expected of me. I always feel like I could have done the task with a little more effort or make it a little better, I don't know kinda weird. Men do you enjoy receiving compliments? And how often do you get them?
I was surprised to read everyone’s responses. Majority of men turned out to enjoy getting compliments depending on a situation but do not get them very often. As a woman I get them here and there but don’t always take them seriously because I feel like a lot of times they are not genuine. What compliments do you love receiving from girls? What kind of compliment would you like to receive more often? How do you handle compliments? I honestly don't really like them.
I personally find them bothersome and either irrelevant or information I already know. Examples: people congratulate me on getting a top score on a test: "that's so good, it's much better than mine!" (top generally means top, as in everyone else is below and everyone else includes YOU!!). Anyone else rather have no praise? Do you receive more compliments on your appearance from men or women?
Like "you're pretty" or similar. Do you feel like you receive more compliments on your appearance from men or from women? When you have the opportunity to give a guy a genuine compliment, do not hesitate to do so. Not only are compliments fielded at men more rare, but a man can ride the high off a single compliment for years.
This post is in no way trying to exclude other genders or even pandering to the "now we have to compliment the patriarchy! What a pathetic patriarchal post blah blah" people...I'm just merely pointing out that women receive far more compliments than men. From fashion, to hair, to looks, women grow up receiving more compliments than men. They also grow up with far more judgment too which is definitely a heavy trade-off (mostly from other women if having 8 sisters showed me anything), but that's just how it goes it seems.
Knowing this, I found that when I spoke to my male friends about my feelings on the topic they all unanimously agreed that they too received very few compliments in general. But when they did, man do they still think about them even years later. So to summarize, continue to compliment (genuinely) when you can, but know that men in particular can really get hit in the feels when a sincere one lands. How can you give a compliment to someone without being creepy and feeling like you are invading someone's personal space?
I am a 24 year old male have gone back and forth with social anxiety for as long as I can remember. I felt like I had it all worked out before the world shut down in 2020, and now anytime I walk by people i catch myself looking at the ground or my phone to break eye contact. I do well with people in groups that I know, but can't seem to interact normal with strangers.
I want to start being more social and try to get more comfortable talking with strangers in general so i figured compliments would be a good way to start working on that anxiety. Any feedback would be appreciated 👍👍!
I was reading on some random sub about things that make your day when a Redditor said he's rarely complimented. He went on to tell how someone said he looked good in new jeans and how he still thinks of this random compliment and smiles. What followed next was many more male redditors jumping on and telling similar rarely complimented stories. I now find excuses to complement men (without coming across as flirting). "Hey! Your hair is great today!" Or "geeze that blue sure compliments your eyes" because I would always say something nice like that to a woman and men certainly deserve the little pick-me-up we get each day.. How do you feel about receiving compliments or praise? I don’t like getting praised
Growing up, sometimes I get praised by teachers because I did something well and would say in this cheesy voice. This usually cause me to not try to do things well because I hate being praised. I don’t actually have a proper reason to hate getting praised I think it’s just something I don’t like. I'd rather have people praise me for talent than hard work
I've seen often people say that praising someone for their talent is bad cause it assumes that person didn't work hard and just could do it easily.
How do you like to be complimented?
It seems there are many ways to compliment a woman, but I'm coming up short when I try to compliment a guy using general terminology to describe his physical attributes.
Like I might tell someone about something good that I did and it will go one of two ways: 1. They don't seem to care/Don't really say much. I don't really like it because I was expecting them to at least say well done or something. Or 2. They praise be but then I don't know how to respond and it feels awkward. Idk if this makes any sense to you but what do you think?
Cute? Adorable? Gorgeous? Handsome? Sexy? Hot? Dashing?
What is the greatest compliment a man (or woman) can give you to make you blush?
And when to get more specific? "Your adorable crooked smile makes me want to make out with you for hours."
How often do you get compliments in real life?
There's this idea in my close group of friends, and perhaps larger male communities that women on average receive many compliments daily. It is almost certain that on average women receive more compliments than men, but how much more? Perhaps you could share when and what was the last compliment you received.
In case you happen to have a SO, i'm not interested in their compliments, because in that context that's very likely you get complimented from them. More like friends, acquaintances or random people.
Why is it difficult to accept a sincere, no strings attached compliment?
I have been dating my boyfriend for two years. I absolutely adore him. However, he shies away nearly every time I say something nice about him. Like literally just doesn’t say anything at all.
I am sincerely saying what’s in my heart, and NOT for the “I said something nice about you, say something nice about me” motive.
I’m not being over the top. I’m saying things like “you look good in that shirt,” not “you’re the hottest guy to ever walk the earth” (even though he is). Please help me be able to show my love and to have him receive it. It is starting to feel like rejection and I’m feeling as if I need to shut my own feelings down.
Thank you for reading, have an amazing day!
How do you like women to compliment your physical attributes? (I'm all set on non-physical things; I'm a teacher and can see and describe character and intelligence very well).
While I agree with this I still prefer being complimented for talent than hard work. Working hard is not special. Anyone can do it just by sacrificing time.
What kind of compliments do you like getting?
When I'm praised for talent I feel like I'm being acknowledged for the person i am, not the person I'm trying to be. People shouldn't try to excel at things the cannot do easily. I admire people more who have realized what they are good at and what they enjoy doing and not be obsessed about being able to do things they don't have a hand for.
What kind of compliments do you like to hear from men (specifically related to your looks)?
I'm notoriously bad at giving compliments. Which is not to say I give bad compliments ("No, you don't look that fat."). But I just generally don't give them at all.
It's not because I'm not thinking that the girl I'm with is pretty, I just don't know what to say and a little afraid of saying the wrong thing.
Hello I’m a woman in her 20s, and I wanted to get some advice on what type of compliments I can give to the guy I am in the early stages of dating.
I always want to tell him he’s beautiful, pretty, cute, etc but I feel these are too girly/feminine?
Please tell me the types of compliments you like to receive and different words of affirmation that I could say to him. I just want to make him feel special.
So, ladies of Reddit, if you're walking up to meet someone you've been on a few dates with, how would you like him to complete the following sentence:
I was wondering what is the best way to handle compliments, such as when someone says "you're the most intelligent person I know" (happened at work the other day). I usually get quiet and say "thank you" or "I doubt that..."
This may seem like a small or inconsequential behavior, but the ability to receive a compliment graciously is extremely important in social interactions.
Even if you are attempting to be humble, downplaying a compliment will backfire on you. When someone gives a compliment, they are putting themselves out there. Downplaying a compliment is in essence a form of rejection; if their compliment is sincere, you are negating a feeling they had about you and were willing to express. They will be less likely to open themselves up to you in that manner in the future. Additionally, downplaying a compliment will make you seem insecure and unsure of yourself, not humble.
The same holds true for returning compliments. On the surface, it seems like a friendly and polite thing to do. However, it comes of as being insincere. You are not giving someone a compliment based on something they did themselves, but rather as a favor for saying something nice about you. This will likely make them feel the opposite of how you intended when you returned the compliment.
If you receive a compliment, embrace it. If someone says something to you that is impactful, try to stay present in the moment and remember it for when you need it in the future. There is nothing egotistical about this. Tell them how it makes you feel. Simply saying “Thank you, that means a lot to me” is all you need if you mean it.
I feel as though there are some nice classy ways of saying thank you to something like this. I may very well be over thinking this.
"Wow, you look _______!"
I saw a girl with a pretty unconventional haircut today, and it looked really good on her, but I didn't say anything about it because I wouldn't want her to feel like I was flirting/make her feel uncomfortable about a compliment from a random person she doesn't know. How do you deal with giving and receiving compliments from people you don't know.
By the way, I have no problem telling the women I'm dating that they're intelligent, thoughtful and funny. It's the looks thing that throws me for a loop.
When I'm good at something and someone says "Wow you must have worked really hard for that" then I do not like that as much as it implies I'd do things just to show off and not cause I enjoy them.. Is it normal to hate getting praised?
Every time I get praised I always get really awkward or a felling of shame, I just feel like I didn't do anything special that deserves getting praised, I just did what you ask me to do or what was expected of me. I always feel like I could have done the task with a little more effort or make it a little better, I don't know kinda weird. Men do you enjoy receiving compliments? And how often do you get them?
I was surprised to read everyone’s responses. Majority of men turned out to enjoy getting compliments depending on a situation but do not get them very often. As a woman I get them here and there but don’t always take them seriously because I feel like a lot of times they are not genuine. What compliments do you love receiving from girls? What kind of compliment would you like to receive more often? How do you handle compliments? I honestly don't really like them.
I personally find them bothersome and either irrelevant or information I already know. Examples: people congratulate me on getting a top score on a test: "that's so good, it's much better than mine!" (top generally means top, as in everyone else is below and everyone else includes YOU!!). Anyone else rather have no praise? Do you receive more compliments on your appearance from men or women?
Like "you're pretty" or similar. Do you feel like you receive more compliments on your appearance from men or from women? When you have the opportunity to give a guy a genuine compliment, do not hesitate to do so. Not only are compliments fielded at men more rare, but a man can ride the high off a single compliment for years.
This post is in no way trying to exclude other genders or even pandering to the "now we have to compliment the patriarchy! What a pathetic patriarchal post blah blah" people...I'm just merely pointing out that women receive far more compliments than men. From fashion, to hair, to looks, women grow up receiving more compliments than men. They also grow up with far more judgment too which is definitely a heavy trade-off (mostly from other women if having 8 sisters showed me anything), but that's just how it goes it seems.
Knowing this, I found that when I spoke to my male friends about my feelings on the topic they all unanimously agreed that they too received very few compliments in general. But when they did, man do they still think about them even years later. So to summarize, continue to compliment (genuinely) when you can, but know that men in particular can really get hit in the feels when a sincere one lands. How can you give a compliment to someone without being creepy and feeling like you are invading someone's personal space?
I am a 24 year old male have gone back and forth with social anxiety for as long as I can remember. I felt like I had it all worked out before the world shut down in 2020, and now anytime I walk by people i catch myself looking at the ground or my phone to break eye contact. I do well with people in groups that I know, but can't seem to interact normal with strangers.
I want to start being more social and try to get more comfortable talking with strangers in general so i figured compliments would be a good way to start working on that anxiety. Any feedback would be appreciated 👍👍!
