Are you completely honest with anyone in your life?
How honest are you with the people you date? What info won't you give, if any? Have you ever tried to be a 100% percent honest ALL the time?
I'm talking about radical honesty. I'm talking about saying literally what's on your mind with whomever you are talking with.
If yes, tell me how was it? did it ruin your friendships? did it end a relationship?
I want to start being extremely honest in my life, but it seems a little dangerous lol.
what are your thoughts kind people of the internet? Sometimes I'm honest with constrictive criticism or personal critique, and some people on certain subs get offended and downvote-brigade. Always refreshing when the opposite happens and OP either replies "Thanks, you have a point", or courteuosly disagrees.
Part of why I asked is because I feel there's really not any incentives to lie when one is anonymous. I can't think of a situation in Reddit where I would feel the need of telling a white lie (I'd just ignore it and go away)
Should we be always painfully honest?
Its basically whether we should be completely honest with someone even though the truth might be unpleasant and in the same time unproductive? My first thoughts was that we should be always honest even if the truth might be unpleasant. But then I thought what's the point? It won't be of any use to the person. We are the only one who benefits from that. Our consciousness will be clean for telling the truth. But isn't that a bit selfish? Can't we just sugar-coat it so that everyone is happy?
I recklessly asked my girlfriend recently what her least favourite thing about me was, and she said that it was that I think being honest is better than being sensitive and kind. This is broadly speaking true and although that makes me sound totally autistic, I'd say I'm more like 30% autistic. So I lie to make jokes and also in unimportant social situations (like telling a nephew that table salt is mined from tables). But often in more delicate situations I'll be honest, even though I know I'm causing pain (like telling my girlfriend that she isn't the best sex I'd ever had). My general feeling being honest is better in almost all situations, in the long run I will become a trustworthy person and that is worth a bit of pain in the short term. This makes daily life with me something of a hassle, obviously.
If I change my view about this then I'll have quite a job working out when it's appropriate to lie and when it isn't, but I'm worried that even if I get this balance right, I will still just create a lot of distrust.
Boring background facts: first time user of reddit, came here through David Mcraney, 35 year old straight English man, 1 1/2 years into my relationship, not much experience of being a boyfriend before that. As the title states, people that say "oh I'm just brutally honest" with some sort of pride, just use it as an excuse to be utter douchebags and feel some kind of ego trip about putting others down. Don't deceive people, but learn when white lies benefit someone's development, it's really not that difficult.
It's most evident about people who act like that, in the way they often cannot admit to their mistakes, they lack self reflection and get offended by others honesty towards them. They will just walk away from others "brutal honesty" because its too much "drama". If you consider yourself "brutally honest", develop some of your social skills.
Honesty is the best policy, if you are not interested in someone, just tell them straight in a polite way
My experiences of relationships, life and dating have taught me that it is best to be honest. In relation to dating, if you date someone and you don't like them romantically, but they are still interested in you, rather than making excuses, ghosting or stringing them along for the sake of their feelings, just tell them straight in a polite way that you're not interested, it will save you both a whole lot of mental energy and will free you both up to find someone else. I know people who still have people chasing them, and they will complain that they won't go away, yet they've never told them straight that they aren't interested, they'll say stuff like "I'm just not ready to date yet" or some other excuse, that just keeps the other person hoping, just because they haven't got the heart or balls to tell them that they aren't interested, it does neither of you any favours. Most level headed people will respect and appreciate your honesty. It is best people know where they actually stand with you. Don't feel like you're a bad person for saying it, you can't help the way you feel, it is much worse in the longer term if you keep someone's hopes up when there really isn't any hope at all.
I'm talking about radical honesty. I'm talking about saying literally what's on your mind with whomever you are talking with.
If yes, tell me how was it? did it ruin your friendships? did it end a relationship?
I want to start being extremely honest in my life, but it seems a little dangerous lol.
what are your thoughts kind people of the internet? Sometimes I'm honest with constrictive criticism or personal critique, and some people on certain subs get offended and downvote-brigade. Always refreshing when the opposite happens and OP either replies "Thanks, you have a point", or courteuosly disagrees.
Part of why I asked is because I feel there's really not any incentives to lie when one is anonymous. I can't think of a situation in Reddit where I would feel the need of telling a white lie (I'd just ignore it and go away)
Should we be always painfully honest?
Its basically whether we should be completely honest with someone even though the truth might be unpleasant and in the same time unproductive? My first thoughts was that we should be always honest even if the truth might be unpleasant. But then I thought what's the point? It won't be of any use to the person. We are the only one who benefits from that. Our consciousness will be clean for telling the truth. But isn't that a bit selfish? Can't we just sugar-coat it so that everyone is happy?
I recklessly asked my girlfriend recently what her least favourite thing about me was, and she said that it was that I think being honest is better than being sensitive and kind. This is broadly speaking true and although that makes me sound totally autistic, I'd say I'm more like 30% autistic. So I lie to make jokes and also in unimportant social situations (like telling a nephew that table salt is mined from tables). But often in more delicate situations I'll be honest, even though I know I'm causing pain (like telling my girlfriend that she isn't the best sex I'd ever had). My general feeling being honest is better in almost all situations, in the long run I will become a trustworthy person and that is worth a bit of pain in the short term. This makes daily life with me something of a hassle, obviously.
If I change my view about this then I'll have quite a job working out when it's appropriate to lie and when it isn't, but I'm worried that even if I get this balance right, I will still just create a lot of distrust.
Boring background facts: first time user of reddit, came here through David Mcraney, 35 year old straight English man, 1 1/2 years into my relationship, not much experience of being a boyfriend before that. As the title states, people that say "oh I'm just brutally honest" with some sort of pride, just use it as an excuse to be utter douchebags and feel some kind of ego trip about putting others down. Don't deceive people, but learn when white lies benefit someone's development, it's really not that difficult.
It's most evident about people who act like that, in the way they often cannot admit to their mistakes, they lack self reflection and get offended by others honesty towards them. They will just walk away from others "brutal honesty" because its too much "drama". If you consider yourself "brutally honest", develop some of your social skills.
Honesty is the best policy, if you are not interested in someone, just tell them straight in a polite way
My experiences of relationships, life and dating have taught me that it is best to be honest. In relation to dating, if you date someone and you don't like them romantically, but they are still interested in you, rather than making excuses, ghosting or stringing them along for the sake of their feelings, just tell them straight in a polite way that you're not interested, it will save you both a whole lot of mental energy and will free you both up to find someone else. I know people who still have people chasing them, and they will complain that they won't go away, yet they've never told them straight that they aren't interested, they'll say stuff like "I'm just not ready to date yet" or some other excuse, that just keeps the other person hoping, just because they haven't got the heart or balls to tell them that they aren't interested, it does neither of you any favours. Most level headed people will respect and appreciate your honesty. It is best people know where they actually stand with you. Don't feel like you're a bad person for saying it, you can't help the way you feel, it is much worse in the longer term if you keep someone's hopes up when there really isn't any hope at all.
