What's holding you back from loving and embracing yourself entirely?
What's holding you back from living the life you want and the life you dream of? What's the main thing holding you back from finding a partner? (IE: Do you struggle to ask people out) What is holding you back from being truly happy and from accomplishing all of your dreams? What is holding you or has held you back in life? What is the only thing holding you back from having a breakdown? Something is holding me back.
I want to change, and be the best version of me. But I'm always too tired or too bus. I am turning 26 in Less than a month, and for every step I took forward, I have taken ten steps backwards. I make a determination to change to move toward my goals, and it feels like I have to be on that mentallty forever, or I go back to doing nothing. So instead of fighting it,I just gave up and do the minimum. That leaves me with self hate, and struggle, knowing that I should be doing something. My goals are finding a job that pays better, getting my first degree, losing weight. That thing that is holding me back is the person in my head that failed too many times and that tells me constantly nothing is worth the feeling of reject or failed, it's safer to do nothing. People are afraid of failure because for one they're not used to it. And because they have a really poor attitude towards it. Instead of seeing it as something bad or as the end of the world -Which it never really is, is it?- you could see it as a learning experience. How are you supposed to ever learn anything if you never make any mistakes? Trying anything new means making mistakes. It's unavoidable. And if you actualyl get started and start doing things, then you'll also get used to things not working out as you had hoped. And you'll realize that it doesn't matter. Eventually if you just keep going you might even start to enjoy it. Why? Because it means that you are making progress. You could just as well be sitting around and doing nothing as you are right now. But instead you're working on it and learning from each experience and that brings you closer to your goal. Standing still never does anything for you, so all you need to do is to get going and to make sure that you stay on track.
But as I mentioned you should work on your attitude towards it as well. Spend some time thinking about where it will lead you if you don't change anything at all. What good will avoid the discomfort that comes with it really do for you? And how enjoyable will it be for you to look back at your life in a few years and to realize that, even though you're still just as unhappy as before, you've done absolutely nothing to change anything? Also the only way to be a failure is to give up. So if you try to avoid failure by not trying at all, then now you have become what you are so afraid of. Nobody who keeps trying can ever be considered a failure. And if you never give up then you can only succeed sooner or later. Things might not turn out just as you had expected initially but something will happen. While if you keep sitting around then nothing is likely to change for you and you'll only be more and more miserable over time. What’s been holding you back from really living your life? What do you feel is holding you back from living the life that you want? I hold myself back from living until i’m good enough. How to deal with this?
I’ve been going to therapy lately and the main issue I have identified about myself is that I’ve basically held myself life largely on hold until I would be closer to a perfected or idealized version of myself.
As soon as insecurities kicked in as an early teen i’ve just always pushed wishes and goals forward for “until i’m good enough/perfect enough” whether that means skinny, prettier, more social etc. I used to repeatedly make lists with bullet points and game plans with multiple points what I needed to change about my self, both looks and personality. It’s like these points still go through my kind despite stopping making actual lists.
Well obviously this doesn’t work and now i’m 24, I look at +/- 12 years of just letting life pass by and going through the motions without ever feeling like I was really actively doing stuff while watching everyone living. To everyone i’m talkative and outgoing, but no one really knows I used to spend my time just endlessly scrolling on my own. It feels a bit shit tbh though it’s my own fault. I don’t find myself particularly depressed/anxious, but it still makes me feel sad how I’ve wasted so many of my younger years striving for perfection and holding myself back. Has anyone dealt with something similar or has tips how to live more actively? What is holding you back from being who/where you truly want to be? What do you think about embarrassing yourself in music?
The best advice I’ve ever heard, was “embarrass yourself.” Or “don’t be afraid to embarrass yourself.” Write that terrible song, and release it. Scrape a song bc you can’t figure out a title, and end up settling with a horrible title. Sing off key at a concert where you’re nervous and buzzed bc you can’t handle being on stage. Forget your lyrics. How did you learn to love yourself (again, or for the first time)?
What helped you get there? How long did it take? Any advice helps. I used to like myself at one time. Now I feel like a different person and I’m not sure how to love or even like her. I want to give it a try though. In what ways do you hold yourself back? When did you learn to accept yourself for who you are?
I have been struggling my entire life trying to just simply accept who I am and to stop comparing myself to others and needless to say, I have been fairly unsuccessful. Today is my 31st birthday and yet again my insecurity rears its ugly head.
"Why don't I have more friends? Why am I not as extroverted as my peers? Why am I gaining weight? Why am I so socially awkward in my thirties? Why cant I accept myself for the introverted, indoorsy, homebody that I am instead of trying to be someone else to appeal to people that don't matter? "
I don't know. This is half tipsy rambling right now. But I sure would love some insight from some other lovely ladies in their 30s and older to pass down their wisdom. I wish I could just be confident enough to be proud of who I am truly meant to be. What does “loving yourself” look like to you? What steps did you take to achieve self love?
I want to change, and be the best version of me. But I'm always too tired or too bus. I am turning 26 in Less than a month, and for every step I took forward, I have taken ten steps backwards. I make a determination to change to move toward my goals, and it feels like I have to be on that mentallty forever, or I go back to doing nothing. So instead of fighting it,I just gave up and do the minimum. That leaves me with self hate, and struggle, knowing that I should be doing something. My goals are finding a job that pays better, getting my first degree, losing weight. That thing that is holding me back is the person in my head that failed too many times and that tells me constantly nothing is worth the feeling of reject or failed, it's safer to do nothing. People are afraid of failure because for one they're not used to it. And because they have a really poor attitude towards it. Instead of seeing it as something bad or as the end of the world -Which it never really is, is it?- you could see it as a learning experience. How are you supposed to ever learn anything if you never make any mistakes? Trying anything new means making mistakes. It's unavoidable. And if you actualyl get started and start doing things, then you'll also get used to things not working out as you had hoped. And you'll realize that it doesn't matter. Eventually if you just keep going you might even start to enjoy it. Why? Because it means that you are making progress. You could just as well be sitting around and doing nothing as you are right now. But instead you're working on it and learning from each experience and that brings you closer to your goal. Standing still never does anything for you, so all you need to do is to get going and to make sure that you stay on track.
But as I mentioned you should work on your attitude towards it as well. Spend some time thinking about where it will lead you if you don't change anything at all. What good will avoid the discomfort that comes with it really do for you? And how enjoyable will it be for you to look back at your life in a few years and to realize that, even though you're still just as unhappy as before, you've done absolutely nothing to change anything? Also the only way to be a failure is to give up. So if you try to avoid failure by not trying at all, then now you have become what you are so afraid of. Nobody who keeps trying can ever be considered a failure. And if you never give up then you can only succeed sooner or later. Things might not turn out just as you had expected initially but something will happen. While if you keep sitting around then nothing is likely to change for you and you'll only be more and more miserable over time. What’s been holding you back from really living your life? What do you feel is holding you back from living the life that you want? I hold myself back from living until i’m good enough. How to deal with this?
I’ve been going to therapy lately and the main issue I have identified about myself is that I’ve basically held myself life largely on hold until I would be closer to a perfected or idealized version of myself.
As soon as insecurities kicked in as an early teen i’ve just always pushed wishes and goals forward for “until i’m good enough/perfect enough” whether that means skinny, prettier, more social etc. I used to repeatedly make lists with bullet points and game plans with multiple points what I needed to change about my self, both looks and personality. It’s like these points still go through my kind despite stopping making actual lists.
Well obviously this doesn’t work and now i’m 24, I look at +/- 12 years of just letting life pass by and going through the motions without ever feeling like I was really actively doing stuff while watching everyone living. To everyone i’m talkative and outgoing, but no one really knows I used to spend my time just endlessly scrolling on my own. It feels a bit shit tbh though it’s my own fault. I don’t find myself particularly depressed/anxious, but it still makes me feel sad how I’ve wasted so many of my younger years striving for perfection and holding myself back. Has anyone dealt with something similar or has tips how to live more actively? What is holding you back from being who/where you truly want to be? What do you think about embarrassing yourself in music?
The best advice I’ve ever heard, was “embarrass yourself.” Or “don’t be afraid to embarrass yourself.” Write that terrible song, and release it. Scrape a song bc you can’t figure out a title, and end up settling with a horrible title. Sing off key at a concert where you’re nervous and buzzed bc you can’t handle being on stage. Forget your lyrics. How did you learn to love yourself (again, or for the first time)?
What helped you get there? How long did it take? Any advice helps. I used to like myself at one time. Now I feel like a different person and I’m not sure how to love or even like her. I want to give it a try though. In what ways do you hold yourself back? When did you learn to accept yourself for who you are?
I have been struggling my entire life trying to just simply accept who I am and to stop comparing myself to others and needless to say, I have been fairly unsuccessful. Today is my 31st birthday and yet again my insecurity rears its ugly head.
"Why don't I have more friends? Why am I not as extroverted as my peers? Why am I gaining weight? Why am I so socially awkward in my thirties? Why cant I accept myself for the introverted, indoorsy, homebody that I am instead of trying to be someone else to appeal to people that don't matter? "
I don't know. This is half tipsy rambling right now. But I sure would love some insight from some other lovely ladies in their 30s and older to pass down their wisdom. I wish I could just be confident enough to be proud of who I am truly meant to be. What does “loving yourself” look like to you? What steps did you take to achieve self love?
