Why are friends so damn disappointing?
So I’ve had a few close friends throughout my life one was in grade 9 we were very close until grade 11 when he ditched me for some other people he used to say If I don’t hang out with them they’ll stop talking to me and I know you’ll understand so I was like ok thanks for clearing things after a while I had an argument with someone and instead of him backing me up he just laughed when the guy would make a joke about me so I decided to stop talking to him I still talk to him today but we just have friendly conversations every once in a while. Anyways there was another friend I had who always got me out of a bad mood and helped me fight my depression he was so close to me he would sleepover for like a week in my house that’s how good our relationship was but then he started developing an ego so I distanced my self from him but then I remembered all the good things he used to do so I started talking with him on a day to day basis again but then after a while I realized that he’s not the same person I used to know and his ego got way out of hand so I just didn’t feed it and distanced my self again after a while I found out he was talking about me in a bad way and when I confronted him he just laughed so we stopped talking and then I reconnected with him in senior year for old times sake and also because no one in my class would get me like him so we became close again and once he came back to Dubai from Russia we hung out at my house and then we went to a park so in the park he met this girl and the next week he said I’ll hangout with her I was like ok let me call up some friends he was like no don’t call anyone I was like ok assuming he’ll just be with her for a while and then join me so he went to her at 8 pm and took his other friend with him (he didn’t take me because I’m an introvert and shy when it comes to girls and apparently that’s creepy) so anyways I waited from 8pm till 12 am for him and he finally came around 12:30 so he talked to me and I just ignored because I didn’t want to say anything I will regret later at the house I was talking to a friend and he was keep on making Noise while I was talking so I asked them to keep it down and he said you were the one who has the problem so you should live in my own house so then I kept quiet left the living room and went to the kitchen and slam the door after I was done talking I brought my cat to the living room and he’s allergic he asked me to take it out me trying to prove a point to him I told him you were the one who has a problem with it so you should leave the living room so then he just said I’m leaving and left the house and after that we became friends again but then we had a stupid fight over him not taking me serious when I’m having an argument and joking around so we stop talking again later on I heard him say good stuff about me to my brother and he came over after like four days of me hearing the voice note because my brother invited him so then we started talking again and we’re still talking but we’re not as close as before and it’s so annoying how he still can’t admit he’s the one who was wrong
There’s another guy who I indirectly helped make friends and since then he hasn’t asked me to go out with him and he only calls me when he needs help with studies anyways last week asked him if we can go out on Thursday he said he will see whether he can come or not so I waited till Wednesday and then asked him since he didn’t message me about it yet so he said his dad won’t allow him to go out but then my brother saw him in the mall with his new friends I just told him that he should be honest next time and that it’s fine but it’s not fine all and it's really annoying how friends always disappoint me, sometimes I feel like I’m never gonna have a real friend or real friends don’t exist. One of my very closest friends (I was supposed to be one of her bridesmaids) has seemingly dropped me over a misunderstanding over a creative project. Long story short, I thought we were partners on a creative project/creative event (that was successful), she thought it was her thing and I was just supporting/helping, I asked to talk to her about it after the misunderstanding became clear, and she ghosted me. Haven't heard from her in over a week, and she's been active on social media and actively posting about the event that we planned and put on together, as well as actively posting about planning the next one.
I feel devastated and betrayed. But I'm mostly so disappointed that a friendship I gave my all to seems to have disappeared at the drop of the hat.
My way of being better than I was yesterday is to try to let go. It's hard, but I can't control whether she responds to my texts or agrees to speak to me on the phone. It's ultimately her choice at this point whether we continue to have a relationship or not. There's nothing I can do anymore to change it, and I have to move on.
My way of being better than I was last time a friendship fell apart, is I'm not going to let the sadness destroy me. I'm going to focus on myself, my pets, and the people in my life who actually care about me. For the last 2 or 3 years my only group of friends has been online, wich is fine by me bc they are all really cool, but these last few months one of the friends I'm the closest with has been doing something that annoyed me.
So, basically we spend a lot of time on discord talking to each other but i usually leave a bit earlier bc i go to work early, what is happening is that almost every week after one of our group calls i'll wake up to a message of this one friend that usually goes something like: " Hey, did i do something wrong, bc i've been noticing u guys are a bit weird, you didn't answer something i sent on the gc, am i doing something that bother you guys?" I aways answer "no" bc he didn't do anything wrong and apologize for making him feel that way, even though during the call everything seemed fine and we all had a good time.
It got to the point that everytime i woke up and saw that he had sent me some 2min long audio message i would feel my stomach drop as if I did something bad "again" even though he is the one always asking "what he did wrong"
After a while it just felt like he asked that to make him look more victimized, and his been upset over nothing more reasonable, for months i would just say sorry even if i didn't think none of us did something bad for him to be upset about until last sunday...
Last sunday he came up with the same stuff even though we had a very fun call with everyone saturday night, so i told him that i didn't think anyone offended him and that no one ignored him (since i wasn't buying his ' did i do something bad' shtick anymore) and that everyone was just having a good time so he had nothing to be upset about.
Well, he didn't like that
He said i called him'childsh' (wich i didn't) and that he didn't want to talk about it anymore.
Now, i have been hearing him complaing for months about this and never said i didn't want to hear it anymore but the only time i don't stroke his ego the conversation gets old?
That really didn't sit well with me but if he doesn't wanna talk anymore fine, i don't like to seek confrontation, so i just sat in my room looking to the roof holding back angry tears while he went on to be on call with everybody
I could've gotten in the call too but i was really angry and sad and i can't pretend when i feel like that
As i was alone many episodes came to mind were he would get upset for trivial things, like when he got really hurt bc we were all "reviewing and scoring" a movie we just watched (jokingly obv) and when he was talking for the third or fourth time about why he didn't agree with us, one of us laughed while he was talking and he took that to heart and said we were not taking him serously, that friend apologized so i didn't think much of it but now it just feels very overboard considering that none of us are film critics and we were all laughing and joking about giving a review and notes to the movie
If the friend group were problematic i would get it but we are all very supportive of each other, including him
Over all, he is a very good friend but i just felt so pressured as if my friendship was always lacking even if i was really trying to show everyone that i cared about them
He apologized already, and really took accountability but i'm tired, exhausted actually
i just want to hang with my friends and not have to deal with any drama, and everyone else seems to be the same, at least to me no one else has ever said that we are not answering anough on the gc to their messages speciffically or that they always show a lot more interest in our tastes and hobbies than we do to them
He is basically the guy most of us are actually closer to but it seems that only in his mind no one gives him the same treatment that he is giving
I've been up all night litening to his problems how come we don't do for him the same he is doing for us? He is not always like that but i am really frustrated and contemplating if i really want to go back at been close friends with him.
There’s another guy who I indirectly helped make friends and since then he hasn’t asked me to go out with him and he only calls me when he needs help with studies anyways last week asked him if we can go out on Thursday he said he will see whether he can come or not so I waited till Wednesday and then asked him since he didn’t message me about it yet so he said his dad won’t allow him to go out but then my brother saw him in the mall with his new friends I just told him that he should be honest next time and that it’s fine but it’s not fine all and it's really annoying how friends always disappoint me, sometimes I feel like I’m never gonna have a real friend or real friends don’t exist. One of my very closest friends (I was supposed to be one of her bridesmaids) has seemingly dropped me over a misunderstanding over a creative project. Long story short, I thought we were partners on a creative project/creative event (that was successful), she thought it was her thing and I was just supporting/helping, I asked to talk to her about it after the misunderstanding became clear, and she ghosted me. Haven't heard from her in over a week, and she's been active on social media and actively posting about the event that we planned and put on together, as well as actively posting about planning the next one.
I feel devastated and betrayed. But I'm mostly so disappointed that a friendship I gave my all to seems to have disappeared at the drop of the hat.
My way of being better than I was yesterday is to try to let go. It's hard, but I can't control whether she responds to my texts or agrees to speak to me on the phone. It's ultimately her choice at this point whether we continue to have a relationship or not. There's nothing I can do anymore to change it, and I have to move on.
My way of being better than I was last time a friendship fell apart, is I'm not going to let the sadness destroy me. I'm going to focus on myself, my pets, and the people in my life who actually care about me. For the last 2 or 3 years my only group of friends has been online, wich is fine by me bc they are all really cool, but these last few months one of the friends I'm the closest with has been doing something that annoyed me.
So, basically we spend a lot of time on discord talking to each other but i usually leave a bit earlier bc i go to work early, what is happening is that almost every week after one of our group calls i'll wake up to a message of this one friend that usually goes something like: " Hey, did i do something wrong, bc i've been noticing u guys are a bit weird, you didn't answer something i sent on the gc, am i doing something that bother you guys?" I aways answer "no" bc he didn't do anything wrong and apologize for making him feel that way, even though during the call everything seemed fine and we all had a good time.
It got to the point that everytime i woke up and saw that he had sent me some 2min long audio message i would feel my stomach drop as if I did something bad "again" even though he is the one always asking "what he did wrong"
After a while it just felt like he asked that to make him look more victimized, and his been upset over nothing more reasonable, for months i would just say sorry even if i didn't think none of us did something bad for him to be upset about until last sunday...
Last sunday he came up with the same stuff even though we had a very fun call with everyone saturday night, so i told him that i didn't think anyone offended him and that no one ignored him (since i wasn't buying his ' did i do something bad' shtick anymore) and that everyone was just having a good time so he had nothing to be upset about.
Well, he didn't like that
He said i called him'childsh' (wich i didn't) and that he didn't want to talk about it anymore.
Now, i have been hearing him complaing for months about this and never said i didn't want to hear it anymore but the only time i don't stroke his ego the conversation gets old?
That really didn't sit well with me but if he doesn't wanna talk anymore fine, i don't like to seek confrontation, so i just sat in my room looking to the roof holding back angry tears while he went on to be on call with everybody
I could've gotten in the call too but i was really angry and sad and i can't pretend when i feel like that
As i was alone many episodes came to mind were he would get upset for trivial things, like when he got really hurt bc we were all "reviewing and scoring" a movie we just watched (jokingly obv) and when he was talking for the third or fourth time about why he didn't agree with us, one of us laughed while he was talking and he took that to heart and said we were not taking him serously, that friend apologized so i didn't think much of it but now it just feels very overboard considering that none of us are film critics and we were all laughing and joking about giving a review and notes to the movie
If the friend group were problematic i would get it but we are all very supportive of each other, including him
Over all, he is a very good friend but i just felt so pressured as if my friendship was always lacking even if i was really trying to show everyone that i cared about them
He apologized already, and really took accountability but i'm tired, exhausted actually
i just want to hang with my friends and not have to deal with any drama, and everyone else seems to be the same, at least to me no one else has ever said that we are not answering anough on the gc to their messages speciffically or that they always show a lot more interest in our tastes and hobbies than we do to them
He is basically the guy most of us are actually closer to but it seems that only in his mind no one gives him the same treatment that he is giving
I've been up all night litening to his problems how come we don't do for him the same he is doing for us? He is not always like that but i am really frustrated and contemplating if i really want to go back at been close friends with him.
