Do you like to ask for help with your problems?
Do you ever give that kind of help to others? Whom do you turn to for sound and wise advice? Whom do you turn to when you need advice? Is it usually someone older than you, like a parent or a teacher? Have you ever gotten advice from someone much younger?
Who in your life gives good advice? Can you remember a time when this person’s help was especially useful? Why?
Are you usually comfortable asking for advice, or do you prefer to solve problems on your own?
Do you like to give advice? Why or why not? Whom do you find yourself helping this way?
Is there a young person in your life who, like Clark, might have some wisdom, or knowledge, about how to live and deal with challenges? Who and why?
Do you like to give advice? If so, do you usually give that kind of help to your friends, your family or someone else? Do you avoid accepting help or asking people for help?
I told my friend about a situation I went through last year & how it was all resolved now and she sent me a text back saying she was kinda of hurt/upset because I never ask for help & when she offers help concerning any other stuff I always say I'm fine (declining assistance). I usually only tell my friends of situations that occur months down the line (after I have solved it or gotten over it) but I don't mean anything bad by it (not doing it to be 'hurtful'). I just don't want to be a burden to people.
I do this in everyday tasks as well, it's like a do-it-myself syndrome. Do any of you do this too? Do you get a lot of people asking you for help when they haven’t even attempted it for themselves?
Discussion
I have no problem helping someone who’s struggling or wants to learn about something I know. I actually enjoy that interaction. But I find myself quite often asked to “help” with something when they haven’t even tried doing anything about it on their own. And it’s even worse if I don’t know what they’re expecting me to know.
My first response is usually, “Have you Googled it or read the manual?”
“No.”
So you want me to learn how to do it for you, then teach it to you? What an absolute waste of time. Literally.
Or, they don’t want to learn about their problem so every time it comes up again they think it defaults to me because they didn’t bother to learn about it the first time. And if I self-taught myself how to do that in the first place, then I get really annoyed. The solution to nearly everything is literally a few clicks and keystrokes away.
Thanks for reading my rant. Do you have any experience with this? I can't bring myself to ask anyone for help for any reason. Even when it's in my best interest to do so. I'd honestly rather be dead than ask for help. If I was homeless and needed food I believe I would let myself starve to death rather than beg for a meal. Once I went on a bike ride 20 miles from home and got a flat. I was having issues with my pump and couldn't repair my tire. I was prepared to walk all the way home. Only very reluctantly did I accept someone's assistance getting the tire repaired (didn't ask for it, but thanked them profusely for the help). But accepting help makes me feel uneasy, I'd rather just deal with the consequences of my mistakes.
I have come to realize that I have a real issue with asking people for help. It varies on intensity, but the bigger the ask the harder it is to do. Essentially, when I need some help I quickly come up with far too many reasons why that person wouldn't or couldn't help, and then simply don't ask. Do you find that asking for help is a struggle? Or do you find that you have no issue reaching out when necessary? I would love to know how you feel about this, especially as it relates to being an INFP. I know I give help like there's no tomorrow, but rarely can receive it well.
Asking for help, NEEDING someone else to care about me, just does not compute for some reason. Not sure if it's an ISTP thing or due to something else. I learned from a young age that I had to be self reliant and it's something at the very core of my personality.
Who in your life gives good advice? Can you remember a time when this person’s help was especially useful? Why?
Are you usually comfortable asking for advice, or do you prefer to solve problems on your own?
Do you like to give advice? Why or why not? Whom do you find yourself helping this way?
Is there a young person in your life who, like Clark, might have some wisdom, or knowledge, about how to live and deal with challenges? Who and why?
Do you like to give advice? If so, do you usually give that kind of help to your friends, your family or someone else? Do you avoid accepting help or asking people for help?
I told my friend about a situation I went through last year & how it was all resolved now and she sent me a text back saying she was kinda of hurt/upset because I never ask for help & when she offers help concerning any other stuff I always say I'm fine (declining assistance). I usually only tell my friends of situations that occur months down the line (after I have solved it or gotten over it) but I don't mean anything bad by it (not doing it to be 'hurtful'). I just don't want to be a burden to people.
I do this in everyday tasks as well, it's like a do-it-myself syndrome. Do any of you do this too? Do you get a lot of people asking you for help when they haven’t even attempted it for themselves?
Discussion
I have no problem helping someone who’s struggling or wants to learn about something I know. I actually enjoy that interaction. But I find myself quite often asked to “help” with something when they haven’t even tried doing anything about it on their own. And it’s even worse if I don’t know what they’re expecting me to know.
My first response is usually, “Have you Googled it or read the manual?”
“No.”
So you want me to learn how to do it for you, then teach it to you? What an absolute waste of time. Literally.
Or, they don’t want to learn about their problem so every time it comes up again they think it defaults to me because they didn’t bother to learn about it the first time. And if I self-taught myself how to do that in the first place, then I get really annoyed. The solution to nearly everything is literally a few clicks and keystrokes away.
Thanks for reading my rant. Do you have any experience with this? I can't bring myself to ask anyone for help for any reason. Even when it's in my best interest to do so. I'd honestly rather be dead than ask for help. If I was homeless and needed food I believe I would let myself starve to death rather than beg for a meal. Once I went on a bike ride 20 miles from home and got a flat. I was having issues with my pump and couldn't repair my tire. I was prepared to walk all the way home. Only very reluctantly did I accept someone's assistance getting the tire repaired (didn't ask for it, but thanked them profusely for the help). But accepting help makes me feel uneasy, I'd rather just deal with the consequences of my mistakes.
I have come to realize that I have a real issue with asking people for help. It varies on intensity, but the bigger the ask the harder it is to do. Essentially, when I need some help I quickly come up with far too many reasons why that person wouldn't or couldn't help, and then simply don't ask. Do you find that asking for help is a struggle? Or do you find that you have no issue reaching out when necessary? I would love to know how you feel about this, especially as it relates to being an INFP. I know I give help like there's no tomorrow, but rarely can receive it well.
Asking for help, NEEDING someone else to care about me, just does not compute for some reason. Not sure if it's an ISTP thing or due to something else. I learned from a young age that I had to be self reliant and it's something at the very core of my personality.
