Have you ever felt left out?
Left others out? How have you handled jealousy in your friendships? Have you ever heard the saying that friends come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime? Some friendships last, while others run their course. Do you have friendships now that you hope will last a lifetime? Are any of your current friends people you have known since you were very young? Have you ever become less close to a good friend over time? How have you handled these changes in your relationships? Have you ever felt jealous of a friend — or had a friend feel jealous of you? Do any of the anecdotes in this piece remind you of something that has happened to you? For example, have you ever experienced “friend guarding”? What happened, and how did you feel about it?
Were any of the suggestions in the article helpful? If so, which — and why?
In general, how do you handle changes in your friendships? What has been most challenging for you? What has helped? If you have had friendships that end, what, if anything, do you wish you had done differently? Has there ever been a silver lining to a friendship’s end? Have you ever felt left out of a friend group, but your still a part of it? (They treat you like your part of it, but they do stuff without you, etc.) If so, what did you do? Sadly, nothing has changed at all. This year my destination to be excluded has manifested itself undeniably and it's so depressing. To tell you a bit about me...I'm not introverted at all but being left out has made me turn into an introvert because I believed for years that nobody cared about me except for my own mother. I am not ugly, I have no anxiety and also I have been pretty confident my entire life but I'm not arrogant either. I have like 2 close friends that I know irl and thats about it, they are the only friends that really appreciate me.
Now this is where I have understood that I'm destined to be left out. This year I took part in a project that does a lot of voluntary work and its honestly awesome. I like the workshops and everything and we're a group of 18 people. When I first got there I thought to myself "Okay girl, its time to make some friends. Just be yourself, you can do it THIS time!!!" 2 months into this project and guess who is left out again? Yup, me. And I'll repeat myself, I am NOT shy nor am I RUDE or anything. I talk to everybody like they talk to anyone but that's it...they have formed groups and chose to exlude me. I am really starting to think that it's over for me. I never cared what people thought about me but it is really getting into me now. I heard a girl in that project wanted to beat me up because she thought I did something which I clearly didnt. A guy I got along in the first few weeks now completely dislikes me for no apparent reason and everytime I have to do a group work with him he indirectly makes fun of me and everybody laughs. I totally lost and chose to ignore him because he has a wrong picture of me.
It's like I always have to prove myself to people. I have to do ten times as much to get like 1 person to talk to me. Meanwhile people who look boring or dont talk a lot get a lot of friends and I as a helpful and funny girl get shat on by the whole project. I feel like my existence is a joke. I havent cried in months but that was the last straw, today I have understood what I am meant to be- and that is to be always left out and wrongly judged. I know that you (as a reader) will think that I'm playing the victim card but honestly its been ages and I couldnt attract people in my life. Nobody cares about me. You know how sad it is when you hear somebody say your name and you get so excited because you're not used to people acknowledging your existence? Thats always been me. Do you feel like you're sometimes left out of your friend circle? If so, how do you deal with the hurt feelings?
I wish I didn't feel this much. It hurts...I know they don't dislike me, but I just don't feel like an important part of the group. Do any of you ever feel like this? I know I shouldn't feel so bad, but it just makes me feel so down for some reason. So I have some friends, and some co-worker friends. We hang out some times. No one treats me like I'm an FA person. They don't ignore me, act mean to me, etc. To most people at work, I am a fairly normal guy. So I've been trying to make more friends. There are a good group of people at my job. Now most of them are a lot younger than me. So I know this makes things more difficult. But not everyone is and I'm not always the only older person in the group. So, what this post is about is sometimes feeling left out. I may be overreacting to this or misreading the situation, but here is what I'm talking about. One example anyway. I have been trying to make new friends, trying to get people to hang out more, go places, etc. And sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Also, sometimes I have been invited to things that they do. Sometimes I go, sometimes I don't. But lately I feel like I'm rarely invited to things.
Tonight, a bunch of people from work were going out afterwards to this bar and to play this game/competition. Now I think these people know that I would most likely want to also go, but no one invited me. I heard some talking about it in front of me, so not like they were hiding it from me, but no one said anything. Finally just before leaving one guy was talking about it and asked if I was going. When I said I had no idea what it was, he told me and asked me to come. So I went.
What gets me is why no one asked me about it. Some of these people I feel I have gotten close to, have been trying to hang out with them, and I talk to them throughout the day. One guy is pretty new but sits in my office (just the 2 of us). I have invited him out a few times but today he didn't even mention this to me.
So I go through all the possibilities. They didn't want me to go. Everyone thought someone else invited me. No one even thought of me as they don't always think of everyone in the office to invite to things. Again, maybe overreacting, but when I feel close to some people, and talk to them a lot, and always mention if I'm doing something, it seems odd that they wouldn't have said to me at some point during the day "Hey are you going tonight?"
Anyway sorry for the long rambling rant. It's late and I'm tired but was just wondering what you guys thought. If you need clarification on anything, just ask. Thanks guys. I found out a couple weeks ago that my four friends have a group chat without me in it, and more often now than not, they’re always posting on Instagram of them hanging out with each other, yada yada.
I live alone and haven’t gotten invited really to go anywhere. My life at the moment is school, work, homework, and go back to my apartment.
My days are always spent alone. I got home, and I go to bed.
That’s it.
I don’t really have a support system, and I mean it stinks and I’m trying to get by, but it’s hard. I just want to be loved. I don’t think anyone has asked me how I’m coping or how I’m doing in the past few months. I’m not a rude person by any means. A little shy at first, but I get bubbly after. I dedicate a lot into friendships, but I don’t seem to get much of anything (if anything) back. It’s always me asking how they’re doing, or comforting them… but then they’re gone when I need help. Everyone's nice and everything's fine but then it always seems like everyone's becoming friends with each other but I don't feel like any of them has become my friend yet. I chat and joke and be friendly, but it's like I may as well not be there.
It really sucks to watch everyone else clicking and suddenly giving each other this big love friendship fest and enthusiastically replying and greeting other while I'm sorta awkwardly ignored in the background... and it just gets worse over time. I might need a little time to warm up but it doesn't mean I'm not interested in chatting more too? I try not to let it get to me, I don't do anything mean from it. I know they may like me but don't know me as much yet.
For instance I've been in this group where we had new members come in, some are way more let's say outgoing and "bold" than I am, and they all became friends and were super chatty and active... but then it got to a point where it felt like it was "their" friend group thing and they hardly responded to me (or anyone else) and clearly favored each other... calling each other by name and mentioning doing games outside of the group, etc. Meanwhile my friends I usually talked more with were barely present and started getting busy with other things, so it was like I was alone at a party that I was co-hosting... It really sucked. Like I was sitting at someone else's lunch table in high school lol. Furthermore one of the few friends I really talk to and feel really attached to barely fills me in on anything... I always feel in the dark about everything... and without quality time I feel more and distance. She'll tell me how she's been "so bored" or "sleeping all day" and "busy" and stuff like that, so I don't get too pushy about chatting or bother asking to do anything. BUT when I finally get a bit of a convo with her she's suddenly like "oh I was talking on the phone with my friends for a few hours" or she'll suddenly say oh we can play this game together if you want to after I complain that I'm bored again or something, and I'm like.... okay why didn't you say that before?? You're hanging out and chatting with friends since when?? But never make the move to do anything with me?? What gives, come on you know? This has happened a lot even when I've tried to be really good about interacting and being really helpful and friendly so that the others can feel like I'm a friend... I know I'm more of a one-on-one person, but it just really hurts sometimes to always feel like everyone else is becoming friends but you're getting pushed to the wayside. Or just straight up getting left in the dark by the people that say they are your friend and care about you. If that makes sense. Today I saw that 3 of my friends went on a trip together to another city without me. I’m really close to one of them, quite close to another one and I don’t really know the third one that much but I still consider (at least the 2 of them) my friends. It sucks when your friends seem to be better friends with each other and without you. Like they don’t even need you there. Another example is when I went on a trip with 2 of my other friends and they constantly ignored me, they just talked with each other and even when I tried to participate in it, and I tried really hard, I was always left out in the end. It sucks. I don’t know what it is about me, why does nobody want to be friends with me. I feel like I have a lot of friends but all of them have some other, better friends and I’m just someone they go to when no one else is available. I feel this recurring feeling of being left out. I always find myself on social media seeing all my "friends" doing all sorts of fun stuff and I just don't seem to be invited to do any of it. Honestly, the only time people hang out with me is if I initiate the conversation. I am always just the backup plan. Not to mention girls. Idk if it's a generational thing or if I'm just that miserable to hang out with, but I'll meet a girl, things seem cool, we make plans, I don't hear from her the day of said plans. It's so draining and just puts me into a deeper hole. I think I would feel better if you just told me why you didn't want to or couldn't hang out. Otherwise I'm checking my phone every five minutes for a text/call that I'm supposed to get, but isn't coming. I'm done trying to date, or get close with people. It appears I'm just going to be going through it alone.
My best friend (25F) and I (24F) met a few years ago in uni.. we both were in a very dark place, and this brought us very very close. Since then we've been like sisters, going through thick and thin together, relying on each other for everything (we now live in 2 different countries).
Last spring she found out she was pregnant, and ofc I was feeling over the moon! During her pregnancy she had problems with her boyfriend, with uni, and with life in general.. let's say it definitely wasn't a serene and easy pregnancy.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago: she gave birth, she managed to write her thesis, her boyfriend somehow decided to behave and a beautiful baby girl was born and I'm so happy to be her auntie! But I feel like now she never calls me back, never texts me, and kinda left me out in the dark (as if she needed me just until she gave birth, and now that she has a whole new life I'm somehow not a part of it without any reason)
I understand having a newborn is a tough job, but how could she have time to post photos/videos/stories on instagram and other social media and not have time to answer to my texts? I am in no way invasive or pushy (I am kinda reserved myself), but something like this never happened in our friendship and now I feel left out and thrown away like an old toy. I have to admit we both changed after uni (we were kinda reckless) and now we both fully stepped into adulthood and I feel like I lost a part of me without even asking for it and without wanting to. Being totally honest, at first I felt like she was going too fast by having a baby (unplanned) while still being in uni.. but I admire her and I feel like I would be ready for it too, but I know that if that was the case I wouldn't behave like she did with me at all..
When was a time you felt left out/purposely discluded? Whats the best way to cope with being left out or feeling undesired by the people you call friends?
Have you ever felt excluded or left out in your tightknit workplace? I'm struggling with some feelings of sadness and hurt from being left out/excluded in my workplace. I’m now in a friend group, but i mostly don’t really feel like i’m their friend. I’m second year middle school (system in The Netherlands is different i think that would be Junior High), and there are these kids i knew since first year. But this year i moved classes because i also moved levels (i can’t really explain that, you usually move “levels” if you have very high/low grades) and we coincidentally got in the same class. These 2 kids are now friends with the other kids. One kid (from that group) told me i can always sit with them, but i usually don’t because i feel like i’m bothering them. And they do invite me to events they are planning sometimes.
They also have a group chat where they talk and have fun, and whenever i try to say something i just feel excluded. Mainly because they don’t really pay attention to my messages mostly. And whenever i sit with them i feel like i’m just there, it’s like they completely forgot me.
I have 2 friends but they live in a different country so we can’t see each other every day. I really wish i had friends and that i could be more socially confident like a normal person. Mainly because i don’t want to be lumped in with a certain boy from my class (he is pretty much of an outcast but he still did some bad things) and it just makes me so insecure. I’ve always been the odd one out. Every situation I can think of. School, previous jobs, “friends”, relationships, even by family. People go places without me, and it’s been this way for as long as I can remember. When we’ve been placed into groups in school I always tried to talk to everyone but still I noticed they just clicked better with each other. Same thing at my old job, I was just never good enough. People don’t gravitate towards me and never have. No matter how talkative and friendly I am. I’m sure you’ve guessed it by now, yes I’ve always been the therapist friend who never got anything in return. Now the one person who I’m the closest with and love the most went to breakfast with all his friends and I was invited but he left without telling me the plans were still on and excludes me from other plans too. Now I constantly question what’s wrong with me. I always try to talk and include myself and it’ll work for the time being but then I end up being excluded again. I can’t do this anymore. For the last two weeks or so, me and and two of my best friends have been getting a lot closer than we have been in the past, hanging out more than usual, which is something I'm really happy about, because before that, I felt there was almost some kind of void between us, so I was ecstatic that this was no longer the case. In fact, one of them suggested that, one weekend at some point in the future, when his parents go away, that we should hang out and get high (my 1st time, but not theirs), and I was pretty keen. After this point, things were fine, until after last weekend. I stayed at one of their houses on Saturday after a party we were both going to, had an awesome time, but that was pretty much the last good experience I've had with either of them. At school all week, Monday through Friday, I felt cut off from both of them. One of them would tap the other on the shoulder, indicating they go hang out/get away from everyone else, etc. and not include me; one of them, the guy whose house I crashed at on Saturday, I pretty much haven't spoken to all week, even when I message him on Facebook, he doesn't respond. Now, I have plenty of other friends I can talk to/hang with, but these two are my best friends, and as you can imagine, at this point I'm already feeling pretty terrible about the whole thing. But that's not even the worst part. Today, I was having a short conversation with the friend who hasn't been ignoring me, and he told me that they, not including me, were going to use the rest of their weed and get high tonight. I tried to act cool and told him to have fun, but inside I'm really hurt. I really don't want to feel cut off from them anymore, but I don't know what I can do about it. Have you ever felt like you don't fit in any group of people?
I think this is kind of happening to me, and I'm not even an antisocial person. I actually have improved in my social skills, but there's this feeling that you don't connect to people, like in school, or just with friends of friends groups. Let me know if this has ever happened to any of you. Have you ever felt left out or isolated because of being childfree while many people aren’t?
Were any of the suggestions in the article helpful? If so, which — and why?
In general, how do you handle changes in your friendships? What has been most challenging for you? What has helped? If you have had friendships that end, what, if anything, do you wish you had done differently? Has there ever been a silver lining to a friendship’s end? Have you ever felt left out of a friend group, but your still a part of it? (They treat you like your part of it, but they do stuff without you, etc.) If so, what did you do? Sadly, nothing has changed at all. This year my destination to be excluded has manifested itself undeniably and it's so depressing. To tell you a bit about me...I'm not introverted at all but being left out has made me turn into an introvert because I believed for years that nobody cared about me except for my own mother. I am not ugly, I have no anxiety and also I have been pretty confident my entire life but I'm not arrogant either. I have like 2 close friends that I know irl and thats about it, they are the only friends that really appreciate me.
Now this is where I have understood that I'm destined to be left out. This year I took part in a project that does a lot of voluntary work and its honestly awesome. I like the workshops and everything and we're a group of 18 people. When I first got there I thought to myself "Okay girl, its time to make some friends. Just be yourself, you can do it THIS time!!!" 2 months into this project and guess who is left out again? Yup, me. And I'll repeat myself, I am NOT shy nor am I RUDE or anything. I talk to everybody like they talk to anyone but that's it...they have formed groups and chose to exlude me. I am really starting to think that it's over for me. I never cared what people thought about me but it is really getting into me now. I heard a girl in that project wanted to beat me up because she thought I did something which I clearly didnt. A guy I got along in the first few weeks now completely dislikes me for no apparent reason and everytime I have to do a group work with him he indirectly makes fun of me and everybody laughs. I totally lost and chose to ignore him because he has a wrong picture of me.
It's like I always have to prove myself to people. I have to do ten times as much to get like 1 person to talk to me. Meanwhile people who look boring or dont talk a lot get a lot of friends and I as a helpful and funny girl get shat on by the whole project. I feel like my existence is a joke. I havent cried in months but that was the last straw, today I have understood what I am meant to be- and that is to be always left out and wrongly judged. I know that you (as a reader) will think that I'm playing the victim card but honestly its been ages and I couldnt attract people in my life. Nobody cares about me. You know how sad it is when you hear somebody say your name and you get so excited because you're not used to people acknowledging your existence? Thats always been me. Do you feel like you're sometimes left out of your friend circle? If so, how do you deal with the hurt feelings?
I wish I didn't feel this much. It hurts...I know they don't dislike me, but I just don't feel like an important part of the group. Do any of you ever feel like this? I know I shouldn't feel so bad, but it just makes me feel so down for some reason. So I have some friends, and some co-worker friends. We hang out some times. No one treats me like I'm an FA person. They don't ignore me, act mean to me, etc. To most people at work, I am a fairly normal guy. So I've been trying to make more friends. There are a good group of people at my job. Now most of them are a lot younger than me. So I know this makes things more difficult. But not everyone is and I'm not always the only older person in the group. So, what this post is about is sometimes feeling left out. I may be overreacting to this or misreading the situation, but here is what I'm talking about. One example anyway. I have been trying to make new friends, trying to get people to hang out more, go places, etc. And sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Also, sometimes I have been invited to things that they do. Sometimes I go, sometimes I don't. But lately I feel like I'm rarely invited to things.
Tonight, a bunch of people from work were going out afterwards to this bar and to play this game/competition. Now I think these people know that I would most likely want to also go, but no one invited me. I heard some talking about it in front of me, so not like they were hiding it from me, but no one said anything. Finally just before leaving one guy was talking about it and asked if I was going. When I said I had no idea what it was, he told me and asked me to come. So I went.
What gets me is why no one asked me about it. Some of these people I feel I have gotten close to, have been trying to hang out with them, and I talk to them throughout the day. One guy is pretty new but sits in my office (just the 2 of us). I have invited him out a few times but today he didn't even mention this to me.
So I go through all the possibilities. They didn't want me to go. Everyone thought someone else invited me. No one even thought of me as they don't always think of everyone in the office to invite to things. Again, maybe overreacting, but when I feel close to some people, and talk to them a lot, and always mention if I'm doing something, it seems odd that they wouldn't have said to me at some point during the day "Hey are you going tonight?"
Anyway sorry for the long rambling rant. It's late and I'm tired but was just wondering what you guys thought. If you need clarification on anything, just ask. Thanks guys. I found out a couple weeks ago that my four friends have a group chat without me in it, and more often now than not, they’re always posting on Instagram of them hanging out with each other, yada yada.
I live alone and haven’t gotten invited really to go anywhere. My life at the moment is school, work, homework, and go back to my apartment.
My days are always spent alone. I got home, and I go to bed.
That’s it.
I don’t really have a support system, and I mean it stinks and I’m trying to get by, but it’s hard. I just want to be loved. I don’t think anyone has asked me how I’m coping or how I’m doing in the past few months. I’m not a rude person by any means. A little shy at first, but I get bubbly after. I dedicate a lot into friendships, but I don’t seem to get much of anything (if anything) back. It’s always me asking how they’re doing, or comforting them… but then they’re gone when I need help. Everyone's nice and everything's fine but then it always seems like everyone's becoming friends with each other but I don't feel like any of them has become my friend yet. I chat and joke and be friendly, but it's like I may as well not be there.
It really sucks to watch everyone else clicking and suddenly giving each other this big love friendship fest and enthusiastically replying and greeting other while I'm sorta awkwardly ignored in the background... and it just gets worse over time. I might need a little time to warm up but it doesn't mean I'm not interested in chatting more too? I try not to let it get to me, I don't do anything mean from it. I know they may like me but don't know me as much yet.
For instance I've been in this group where we had new members come in, some are way more let's say outgoing and "bold" than I am, and they all became friends and were super chatty and active... but then it got to a point where it felt like it was "their" friend group thing and they hardly responded to me (or anyone else) and clearly favored each other... calling each other by name and mentioning doing games outside of the group, etc. Meanwhile my friends I usually talked more with were barely present and started getting busy with other things, so it was like I was alone at a party that I was co-hosting... It really sucked. Like I was sitting at someone else's lunch table in high school lol. Furthermore one of the few friends I really talk to and feel really attached to barely fills me in on anything... I always feel in the dark about everything... and without quality time I feel more and distance. She'll tell me how she's been "so bored" or "sleeping all day" and "busy" and stuff like that, so I don't get too pushy about chatting or bother asking to do anything. BUT when I finally get a bit of a convo with her she's suddenly like "oh I was talking on the phone with my friends for a few hours" or she'll suddenly say oh we can play this game together if you want to after I complain that I'm bored again or something, and I'm like.... okay why didn't you say that before?? You're hanging out and chatting with friends since when?? But never make the move to do anything with me?? What gives, come on you know? This has happened a lot even when I've tried to be really good about interacting and being really helpful and friendly so that the others can feel like I'm a friend... I know I'm more of a one-on-one person, but it just really hurts sometimes to always feel like everyone else is becoming friends but you're getting pushed to the wayside. Or just straight up getting left in the dark by the people that say they are your friend and care about you. If that makes sense. Today I saw that 3 of my friends went on a trip together to another city without me. I’m really close to one of them, quite close to another one and I don’t really know the third one that much but I still consider (at least the 2 of them) my friends. It sucks when your friends seem to be better friends with each other and without you. Like they don’t even need you there. Another example is when I went on a trip with 2 of my other friends and they constantly ignored me, they just talked with each other and even when I tried to participate in it, and I tried really hard, I was always left out in the end. It sucks. I don’t know what it is about me, why does nobody want to be friends with me. I feel like I have a lot of friends but all of them have some other, better friends and I’m just someone they go to when no one else is available. I feel this recurring feeling of being left out. I always find myself on social media seeing all my "friends" doing all sorts of fun stuff and I just don't seem to be invited to do any of it. Honestly, the only time people hang out with me is if I initiate the conversation. I am always just the backup plan. Not to mention girls. Idk if it's a generational thing or if I'm just that miserable to hang out with, but I'll meet a girl, things seem cool, we make plans, I don't hear from her the day of said plans. It's so draining and just puts me into a deeper hole. I think I would feel better if you just told me why you didn't want to or couldn't hang out. Otherwise I'm checking my phone every five minutes for a text/call that I'm supposed to get, but isn't coming. I'm done trying to date, or get close with people. It appears I'm just going to be going through it alone.
My best friend (25F) and I (24F) met a few years ago in uni.. we both were in a very dark place, and this brought us very very close. Since then we've been like sisters, going through thick and thin together, relying on each other for everything (we now live in 2 different countries).
Last spring she found out she was pregnant, and ofc I was feeling over the moon! During her pregnancy she had problems with her boyfriend, with uni, and with life in general.. let's say it definitely wasn't a serene and easy pregnancy.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago: she gave birth, she managed to write her thesis, her boyfriend somehow decided to behave and a beautiful baby girl was born and I'm so happy to be her auntie! But I feel like now she never calls me back, never texts me, and kinda left me out in the dark (as if she needed me just until she gave birth, and now that she has a whole new life I'm somehow not a part of it without any reason)
I understand having a newborn is a tough job, but how could she have time to post photos/videos/stories on instagram and other social media and not have time to answer to my texts? I am in no way invasive or pushy (I am kinda reserved myself), but something like this never happened in our friendship and now I feel left out and thrown away like an old toy. I have to admit we both changed after uni (we were kinda reckless) and now we both fully stepped into adulthood and I feel like I lost a part of me without even asking for it and without wanting to. Being totally honest, at first I felt like she was going too fast by having a baby (unplanned) while still being in uni.. but I admire her and I feel like I would be ready for it too, but I know that if that was the case I wouldn't behave like she did with me at all..
When was a time you felt left out/purposely discluded? Whats the best way to cope with being left out or feeling undesired by the people you call friends?
Have you ever felt excluded or left out in your tightknit workplace? I'm struggling with some feelings of sadness and hurt from being left out/excluded in my workplace. I’m now in a friend group, but i mostly don’t really feel like i’m their friend. I’m second year middle school (system in The Netherlands is different i think that would be Junior High), and there are these kids i knew since first year. But this year i moved classes because i also moved levels (i can’t really explain that, you usually move “levels” if you have very high/low grades) and we coincidentally got in the same class. These 2 kids are now friends with the other kids. One kid (from that group) told me i can always sit with them, but i usually don’t because i feel like i’m bothering them. And they do invite me to events they are planning sometimes.
They also have a group chat where they talk and have fun, and whenever i try to say something i just feel excluded. Mainly because they don’t really pay attention to my messages mostly. And whenever i sit with them i feel like i’m just there, it’s like they completely forgot me.
I have 2 friends but they live in a different country so we can’t see each other every day. I really wish i had friends and that i could be more socially confident like a normal person. Mainly because i don’t want to be lumped in with a certain boy from my class (he is pretty much of an outcast but he still did some bad things) and it just makes me so insecure. I’ve always been the odd one out. Every situation I can think of. School, previous jobs, “friends”, relationships, even by family. People go places without me, and it’s been this way for as long as I can remember. When we’ve been placed into groups in school I always tried to talk to everyone but still I noticed they just clicked better with each other. Same thing at my old job, I was just never good enough. People don’t gravitate towards me and never have. No matter how talkative and friendly I am. I’m sure you’ve guessed it by now, yes I’ve always been the therapist friend who never got anything in return. Now the one person who I’m the closest with and love the most went to breakfast with all his friends and I was invited but he left without telling me the plans were still on and excludes me from other plans too. Now I constantly question what’s wrong with me. I always try to talk and include myself and it’ll work for the time being but then I end up being excluded again. I can’t do this anymore. For the last two weeks or so, me and and two of my best friends have been getting a lot closer than we have been in the past, hanging out more than usual, which is something I'm really happy about, because before that, I felt there was almost some kind of void between us, so I was ecstatic that this was no longer the case. In fact, one of them suggested that, one weekend at some point in the future, when his parents go away, that we should hang out and get high (my 1st time, but not theirs), and I was pretty keen. After this point, things were fine, until after last weekend. I stayed at one of their houses on Saturday after a party we were both going to, had an awesome time, but that was pretty much the last good experience I've had with either of them. At school all week, Monday through Friday, I felt cut off from both of them. One of them would tap the other on the shoulder, indicating they go hang out/get away from everyone else, etc. and not include me; one of them, the guy whose house I crashed at on Saturday, I pretty much haven't spoken to all week, even when I message him on Facebook, he doesn't respond. Now, I have plenty of other friends I can talk to/hang with, but these two are my best friends, and as you can imagine, at this point I'm already feeling pretty terrible about the whole thing. But that's not even the worst part. Today, I was having a short conversation with the friend who hasn't been ignoring me, and he told me that they, not including me, were going to use the rest of their weed and get high tonight. I tried to act cool and told him to have fun, but inside I'm really hurt. I really don't want to feel cut off from them anymore, but I don't know what I can do about it. Have you ever felt like you don't fit in any group of people?
I think this is kind of happening to me, and I'm not even an antisocial person. I actually have improved in my social skills, but there's this feeling that you don't connect to people, like in school, or just with friends of friends groups. Let me know if this has ever happened to any of you. Have you ever felt left out or isolated because of being childfree while many people aren’t?
