Are you good at recognizing emotions in yourself and others?
Do you consider yourself “emotionally intelligent”? In other words, are you able to identify and acknowledge feelings in yourself or others? How important do you think it is to be able to do that? Which emotions do you find easy to recognize in yourself and others? Which emotions are more challenging for you to identify? Why do you think that is?
Can you think of a time in your life when you put emotional intelligence to use? What happened? How did it benefit you? Can you think of a time when you wish you had been more aware of your feelings or the feelings of others? How often do you think about what emotions others may be experiencing? Do you adjust your behavior based on other people’s feelings? I think I'm very good at recognizing my own emotions and those of others, and I'm pretty good at using them to guide my thinking and behavior, but I'm not not very good at using them to achieve my goals yet. I think emotions are like an INFP superpower, almost. They help us experience and process the world around us in a very different way, and they allow us to v ways. How do I learn how to identify my own emotions better?
Most of the time I have no awareness whatsoever as to what my own emotional state is. Clearly I have emotions but it's like my brain tries to hide them from me. Most people seem to know if they are having a good time or if they are stressed or whatever, whereas I really don't know. How do I find out? Do you have problems identifying your own emotions?
Does it happen to you that, sometimes, you are so deep trying to rationalized what you are feeling, that you fail to understand what's really happening inside your head?
It does happen to me. And most of the time it ends in feeling frustrated or enraged. This is one of my biggest flaws tbh How aware are you of your emotions and expression of body language? And what's your type? Do you typically pay attention to how you're feeling, and how other people are feeling, the emotions on their face and in their gestures?
Do you express the feelings that you have through your body language? Do you hide them? Is it 'natural' to you, or learned?
I find that I have only ever known how to express a handful of emotions, typically either neutral, serious (fake - people expect me to be serious, I am never actually serious :3), confident (probably looks like arrogance...) or child-like enthusiasm/cheekiness. I don't think any of these come across as strongly as they could. When socializing, I generally express the last two. I never placed much importance on emotion or expression at all (I focus on the content of my words) and it's only now that I realize how powerful and dynamic it can actually be - it has suddenly captured my full interest and I'm suddenly seeing interactions from a completely different (almost magical) perspective - it helps to look at charts like this, which is something I have seen r/INFP reference before. I admittedly realized this while watching Huni's expressions and thinking about cultural differences and similarities between east and west. Not too long ago, he could barely speak English, he would go on stage for interviews and he wouldn't understand a single question, yet he has always been huni, you could not mistake it. I also noted this with respect to the Japanese language. I have been reading Through the looking glass, and it explains that a lot Japanese communication is not explicitly expressed. The language has the tools to say exactly what you mean outright, but the culture has historically refrained from using them, and instead they often express themselves vaguely and focus on reading into people's expressions and context. For example, they wont outright say no, they agree and expect you to read into the way they say it. Clearly however, this is a one size fits all description of the culture, and from what I can tell, this generation is not equivalent to the last - but the idea here seems important to me.
I think it's fairly obvious that the internet/text has a large influence on this. It could also explain why we don't find all that many Fe dominant types here, if such expression is indeed concretely linked to the function. Emotes probably indicate quite a lot too of course. When I first started writing on forums, I was told to stop using so many emotes - though I think what people meant is that you shouldn't use emotes online that you do actually not use irl. So another question I think would be appropriate to ask is whether your emotes online line up with reality or not - in my case, they don't, I should be using more than I am! I feel like they are typically frowned upon, but I think it's just that half of the internet is autistic.
Perhaps I'm missing something here. On the internet, a lot of us seem to do things backwards and read emotions into words, and we learn to write our words with respect to their emotional association. I'd actually suspect this has to do with Fi-Te vs Ti-Fe styles of communication - or it could be T vs F in general. One of the stories that EJArendee (rip) typically shared was his distaste for Fi dominant types, who read emotion into the words he uses, when he all he really ever means is strictly their logical definition. Incidentally he did seem like the kind of person you could read - as Michael Pierce was saying in one of his videos, he was an entertainer of sorts. How well do you read other people's emotions? How do you deal with other people's emotions?
I'm sure there are plenty of INTJs that like to believe themselves to be unfeeling robots, but we all know that isn't really the case.
Personally, whilst I'm not an overly emotional person by default myself, I find that I'm particularly sensitive to everyone else's emotions. Most of the time I just get a vague "that person isn't happy, so neither am I" feeling, kind of like the feeling you get when you can tell it's going to rain soon. Since emotions can often be so illogical, I never know what I'm supposed to do. Anything we do to try and cheer the other person up could backfire horribly or be an unwelcome gesture, and it's almost impossible to predict how they'll react. But if you sit back and pretend nothing is wrong, waiting for them to 'get over it', then you risk 'catching' their mood. Emotions are contagious, which can be particularly dangerous if those emotions include stress, anxiety, or depression, since they tend to stick around longer for me than for others.
With the understanding that it would be risky and possibly rude to directly intervene and help the other person, how do you insulate yourself against others' feelings? I don't think it would be a good idea to say "please hide your stress better", but it's the most succinct way I could put it. Story on recognizing emotions: It's downright difficult to communicate with others for me, especially with emotional topics. Why? It is because I have not only a difficulty with understanding other's emotions, but oftentimes my own as well. Since I was a wee lad still in elementary school, I have had great difficulty with recognizing my own emotions. I would experience an emotion, but I could not recognize which emotion it was. Is this anger? Is this sadness? Is this betrayal? Is this jealousy? The only way I knew how to label an emotion I was feeling was to describe to myself my thought process during the time. From there, I would sort of reverse engineer my thoughts to their emotional foundations. It's a pain in the butt, yet I've learned to endure it quite handily. I am now 22 years old and I still find myself having trouble with recognizing which emotions I experience. I often end up asking my girlfriend to give me a few minutes to determine what emotion I am feeling to continue a conversation or discussion with her. She gladly obliges my request. Bless her for being so patient and understanding with me. I really need to know if there are any others that have this hindrance as well.
I often have trouble recognizing not only other's emotions, but my own as well. Question for everyone: Have/do you ever experience a similar difficulty in recognizing your own emotions? If so, how much has it hindered you when trying to articulate your own emotions to another? Feel free to share any experiences you or someone you know have had in as much detail as you want. I find it supremely helpful to be able to relate to others like me. Thank you ever so much for your valuable time. Do you ever feel like you don’t understand your emotions and can’t express yourself well?
Whatever your experience may be like. It may be different for us all.
For my experience, sometimes I just know that what I am experience is negative but I just can’t pinpoint what it is. It is exhausting try to convey my points to someone else, how I’m feeling etc. because I don’t even clearly know what is it bag I am experiencing emotionally.
When it comes to non-emotional stuff such as sharing my reasoning, I often receive feedback that I do a good job. Whenever it comes to expressing how I feel, I just can’t do it. Heck, I’m even better when it comes to analyzing why someone did something or what he should be feeling, according to factors such as the turns in events, his own personality etc.
I’m just feeling confused now. I anticipate your responses and will update if needed (when I feel less confused). How much do you speak to others about your emotions?
Recently I've been told that I don't have a support system in place to help me when things get tough. Apparently having people to talk to about your feelings can really help.
I do, actually, have some really good friends but all I do with these friends is speak about fun things like going drinking, golf, videogames, films etc.
I think it's more common for women to have these support systems. They tend to have friends or relatives that they speak to about how they are feeling.
I definitely don't have that, and I think that there's a wellbeing crisis with men. Particularly because we are taught from a young age to toughen up and bury our emotions.
I was speaking to some friends about how International Men's Day (IMD) isn't usually mentioned when it comes around. I feel that this is a shame because one of the main reasons for IMD is to raise awareness for men's well-being.
However, I've got sidetracked. My question is: Do any of you speak to other people about your emotions or do you bottle them up and deal with them in unhealthy ways (like what I do)? I don't know if it's just online, but I see a whole lot of ''INTJ's'' saying stuff like ''I'm just not good with being emotional'' or ''I'm just not good with social niceties'' That's fine enough, right? But the part that gets me is when this is directly at the expense of others. To me, for someone to forgo acting this way without ever trying to improve ( at least for others sake) is really shitty. Then again I'm an INFJ. Maybe i'm missing something. Also I find INTJ's online are a lot more pretentious than IRL. I really wish people could just be kinder to each other and I think INTJ's could really try harder at this. It seems like they won't even entertain the idea. That's too bad. Eh. I apologize for the rant (sorta..) It's just that I really like INTJ's but I am starting to feel a bit disenfranchised with the type or feel some apprehension when I hear someone say they are an INTJ. And I don't like feeling like that. To me it always feels like INTJ's force others to conform to their super logical and accurate way of being and they won't give anything in return. That's not right. At some level you all must know this is true? And if you want to be really rude to me don't bother. The thing said to speak my mind.
Can you think of a time in your life when you put emotional intelligence to use? What happened? How did it benefit you? Can you think of a time when you wish you had been more aware of your feelings or the feelings of others? How often do you think about what emotions others may be experiencing? Do you adjust your behavior based on other people’s feelings? I think I'm very good at recognizing my own emotions and those of others, and I'm pretty good at using them to guide my thinking and behavior, but I'm not not very good at using them to achieve my goals yet. I think emotions are like an INFP superpower, almost. They help us experience and process the world around us in a very different way, and they allow us to v ways. How do I learn how to identify my own emotions better?
Most of the time I have no awareness whatsoever as to what my own emotional state is. Clearly I have emotions but it's like my brain tries to hide them from me. Most people seem to know if they are having a good time or if they are stressed or whatever, whereas I really don't know. How do I find out? Do you have problems identifying your own emotions?
Does it happen to you that, sometimes, you are so deep trying to rationalized what you are feeling, that you fail to understand what's really happening inside your head?
It does happen to me. And most of the time it ends in feeling frustrated or enraged. This is one of my biggest flaws tbh How aware are you of your emotions and expression of body language? And what's your type? Do you typically pay attention to how you're feeling, and how other people are feeling, the emotions on their face and in their gestures?
Do you express the feelings that you have through your body language? Do you hide them? Is it 'natural' to you, or learned?
I find that I have only ever known how to express a handful of emotions, typically either neutral, serious (fake - people expect me to be serious, I am never actually serious :3), confident (probably looks like arrogance...) or child-like enthusiasm/cheekiness. I don't think any of these come across as strongly as they could. When socializing, I generally express the last two. I never placed much importance on emotion or expression at all (I focus on the content of my words) and it's only now that I realize how powerful and dynamic it can actually be - it has suddenly captured my full interest and I'm suddenly seeing interactions from a completely different (almost magical) perspective - it helps to look at charts like this, which is something I have seen r/INFP reference before. I admittedly realized this while watching Huni's expressions and thinking about cultural differences and similarities between east and west. Not too long ago, he could barely speak English, he would go on stage for interviews and he wouldn't understand a single question, yet he has always been huni, you could not mistake it. I also noted this with respect to the Japanese language. I have been reading Through the looking glass, and it explains that a lot Japanese communication is not explicitly expressed. The language has the tools to say exactly what you mean outright, but the culture has historically refrained from using them, and instead they often express themselves vaguely and focus on reading into people's expressions and context. For example, they wont outright say no, they agree and expect you to read into the way they say it. Clearly however, this is a one size fits all description of the culture, and from what I can tell, this generation is not equivalent to the last - but the idea here seems important to me.
I think it's fairly obvious that the internet/text has a large influence on this. It could also explain why we don't find all that many Fe dominant types here, if such expression is indeed concretely linked to the function. Emotes probably indicate quite a lot too of course. When I first started writing on forums, I was told to stop using so many emotes - though I think what people meant is that you shouldn't use emotes online that you do actually not use irl. So another question I think would be appropriate to ask is whether your emotes online line up with reality or not - in my case, they don't, I should be using more than I am! I feel like they are typically frowned upon, but I think it's just that half of the internet is autistic.
Perhaps I'm missing something here. On the internet, a lot of us seem to do things backwards and read emotions into words, and we learn to write our words with respect to their emotional association. I'd actually suspect this has to do with Fi-Te vs Ti-Fe styles of communication - or it could be T vs F in general. One of the stories that EJArendee (rip) typically shared was his distaste for Fi dominant types, who read emotion into the words he uses, when he all he really ever means is strictly their logical definition. Incidentally he did seem like the kind of person you could read - as Michael Pierce was saying in one of his videos, he was an entertainer of sorts. How well do you read other people's emotions? How do you deal with other people's emotions?
I'm sure there are plenty of INTJs that like to believe themselves to be unfeeling robots, but we all know that isn't really the case.
Personally, whilst I'm not an overly emotional person by default myself, I find that I'm particularly sensitive to everyone else's emotions. Most of the time I just get a vague "that person isn't happy, so neither am I" feeling, kind of like the feeling you get when you can tell it's going to rain soon. Since emotions can often be so illogical, I never know what I'm supposed to do. Anything we do to try and cheer the other person up could backfire horribly or be an unwelcome gesture, and it's almost impossible to predict how they'll react. But if you sit back and pretend nothing is wrong, waiting for them to 'get over it', then you risk 'catching' their mood. Emotions are contagious, which can be particularly dangerous if those emotions include stress, anxiety, or depression, since they tend to stick around longer for me than for others.
With the understanding that it would be risky and possibly rude to directly intervene and help the other person, how do you insulate yourself against others' feelings? I don't think it would be a good idea to say "please hide your stress better", but it's the most succinct way I could put it. Story on recognizing emotions: It's downright difficult to communicate with others for me, especially with emotional topics. Why? It is because I have not only a difficulty with understanding other's emotions, but oftentimes my own as well. Since I was a wee lad still in elementary school, I have had great difficulty with recognizing my own emotions. I would experience an emotion, but I could not recognize which emotion it was. Is this anger? Is this sadness? Is this betrayal? Is this jealousy? The only way I knew how to label an emotion I was feeling was to describe to myself my thought process during the time. From there, I would sort of reverse engineer my thoughts to their emotional foundations. It's a pain in the butt, yet I've learned to endure it quite handily. I am now 22 years old and I still find myself having trouble with recognizing which emotions I experience. I often end up asking my girlfriend to give me a few minutes to determine what emotion I am feeling to continue a conversation or discussion with her. She gladly obliges my request. Bless her for being so patient and understanding with me. I really need to know if there are any others that have this hindrance as well.
I often have trouble recognizing not only other's emotions, but my own as well. Question for everyone: Have/do you ever experience a similar difficulty in recognizing your own emotions? If so, how much has it hindered you when trying to articulate your own emotions to another? Feel free to share any experiences you or someone you know have had in as much detail as you want. I find it supremely helpful to be able to relate to others like me. Thank you ever so much for your valuable time. Do you ever feel like you don’t understand your emotions and can’t express yourself well?
Whatever your experience may be like. It may be different for us all.
For my experience, sometimes I just know that what I am experience is negative but I just can’t pinpoint what it is. It is exhausting try to convey my points to someone else, how I’m feeling etc. because I don’t even clearly know what is it bag I am experiencing emotionally.
When it comes to non-emotional stuff such as sharing my reasoning, I often receive feedback that I do a good job. Whenever it comes to expressing how I feel, I just can’t do it. Heck, I’m even better when it comes to analyzing why someone did something or what he should be feeling, according to factors such as the turns in events, his own personality etc.
I’m just feeling confused now. I anticipate your responses and will update if needed (when I feel less confused). How much do you speak to others about your emotions?
Recently I've been told that I don't have a support system in place to help me when things get tough. Apparently having people to talk to about your feelings can really help.
I do, actually, have some really good friends but all I do with these friends is speak about fun things like going drinking, golf, videogames, films etc.
I think it's more common for women to have these support systems. They tend to have friends or relatives that they speak to about how they are feeling.
I definitely don't have that, and I think that there's a wellbeing crisis with men. Particularly because we are taught from a young age to toughen up and bury our emotions.
I was speaking to some friends about how International Men's Day (IMD) isn't usually mentioned when it comes around. I feel that this is a shame because one of the main reasons for IMD is to raise awareness for men's well-being.
However, I've got sidetracked. My question is: Do any of you speak to other people about your emotions or do you bottle them up and deal with them in unhealthy ways (like what I do)? I don't know if it's just online, but I see a whole lot of ''INTJ's'' saying stuff like ''I'm just not good with being emotional'' or ''I'm just not good with social niceties'' That's fine enough, right? But the part that gets me is when this is directly at the expense of others. To me, for someone to forgo acting this way without ever trying to improve ( at least for others sake) is really shitty. Then again I'm an INFJ. Maybe i'm missing something. Also I find INTJ's online are a lot more pretentious than IRL. I really wish people could just be kinder to each other and I think INTJ's could really try harder at this. It seems like they won't even entertain the idea. That's too bad. Eh. I apologize for the rant (sorta..) It's just that I really like INTJ's but I am starting to feel a bit disenfranchised with the type or feel some apprehension when I hear someone say they are an INTJ. And I don't like feeling like that. To me it always feels like INTJ's force others to conform to their super logical and accurate way of being and they won't give anything in return. That's not right. At some level you all must know this is true? And if you want to be really rude to me don't bother. The thing said to speak my mind.
