I'm your huckleberry
Even though it's now been 3 weeks since my COVID symptoms cleared up, my lungs still haven't recovered as I find myself coughing up phlegm several times a day. On TV and in movies, when people are hawking loogies, it's to make them seem manly or tough, but when I do it, it just feels gross and slightly concerning.
The sheer amount of mucus buildup in my lungs during my 2 weeks of sickness has taken more than 3 weeks of deliberate hacking to clear out, which are lingering effects I've never had to deal with before. And math-wise, it means I've been coughing up phlegm several times a day, every day, for over a month.
I kinda don't even want lungs at this point. Mark it down as another one of evolution's mistakes, like the appendix, or wisdom teeth, or the entire state of Florida.
It didn't feel that bad while I was sick, but clearly my breathing bags have been telling me a different story. It's probably not that serious in the grand scheme of things as it's apparently a common post-COVID symptom. However, it does put the efficacy of vaccines into perspective.
Early on I did the smart thing and got my 2 nanobot injections from our new lord and savior, the Pfizer corporation, and everything seemed to work as advertised. I managed to ride out every wave you saw in the headlines unscathed despite having to be around people.
I'm no rocket surgeon, but my immune system should've turned some T- and B-cells into highly trained assassins and given them a sacred oath to fight against the virus. Then along came Omicron.
It kinda ruined my weekend to realize I was sick, but at least then I had a good reason to avoid my idiot coworkers. Quarantine was fun. It was just me, the dog, sugary cereal, and a wide selection of movies. The disease might've killed me then and I couldn't tell you the difference between that and heaven.
In the end, I felt the worst of the sickness for maybe 2 days and then it was a vastly over-glorified sore throat. That probably meant the vaccines worked, right? It's hard to say for sure, because documented Omicron cases are supposed to be pretty mild anyway and the hospitalization rate is fairly low, especially given my relative age and health.
But in thinking about it, if the vaccines did indeed provide an adequate layer of protection and this is the best case scenario, it makes me wonder how bad things could've been without it.
For 5 whole weeks now my esophagus has doubled as a snot faucet and I don't know when it's going to end. Hopefully soon, but I said that 2 weeks ago and here we are. It's gradually gotten better, so I'm not rushing to the ER. It's just really, really annoying, especially when it comes knocking on the door and I have nowhere to spit it out. Sometimes my only option is to return to sender.
If I didn't have the antibodies in me already, it seems probable that I might have had to go to the hospital to fight this. There has been a lot of gooey green stuff coming out of me lately, and I am not okay with it. It's like COVID got my lungs pregnant with little Mucinex booger babies and every cough is an abortion. And much like actual abortions, there are simply never enough.
I do find some comfort in ancient philosophy and realize that all these loogies are for the best. It's a sign that my lungs were in bad shape and that this is my path to betterment. It's just taking a little while to get rid of all the junk. But as the great thinker Shrek has always said: "Better out than in"
The sheer amount of mucus buildup in my lungs during my 2 weeks of sickness has taken more than 3 weeks of deliberate hacking to clear out, which are lingering effects I've never had to deal with before. And math-wise, it means I've been coughing up phlegm several times a day, every day, for over a month.
I kinda don't even want lungs at this point. Mark it down as another one of evolution's mistakes, like the appendix, or wisdom teeth, or the entire state of Florida.
It didn't feel that bad while I was sick, but clearly my breathing bags have been telling me a different story. It's probably not that serious in the grand scheme of things as it's apparently a common post-COVID symptom. However, it does put the efficacy of vaccines into perspective.
Early on I did the smart thing and got my 2 nanobot injections from our new lord and savior, the Pfizer corporation, and everything seemed to work as advertised. I managed to ride out every wave you saw in the headlines unscathed despite having to be around people.
I'm no rocket surgeon, but my immune system should've turned some T- and B-cells into highly trained assassins and given them a sacred oath to fight against the virus. Then along came Omicron.
It kinda ruined my weekend to realize I was sick, but at least then I had a good reason to avoid my idiot coworkers. Quarantine was fun. It was just me, the dog, sugary cereal, and a wide selection of movies. The disease might've killed me then and I couldn't tell you the difference between that and heaven.
In the end, I felt the worst of the sickness for maybe 2 days and then it was a vastly over-glorified sore throat. That probably meant the vaccines worked, right? It's hard to say for sure, because documented Omicron cases are supposed to be pretty mild anyway and the hospitalization rate is fairly low, especially given my relative age and health.
But in thinking about it, if the vaccines did indeed provide an adequate layer of protection and this is the best case scenario, it makes me wonder how bad things could've been without it.
For 5 whole weeks now my esophagus has doubled as a snot faucet and I don't know when it's going to end. Hopefully soon, but I said that 2 weeks ago and here we are. It's gradually gotten better, so I'm not rushing to the ER. It's just really, really annoying, especially when it comes knocking on the door and I have nowhere to spit it out. Sometimes my only option is to return to sender.
If I didn't have the antibodies in me already, it seems probable that I might have had to go to the hospital to fight this. There has been a lot of gooey green stuff coming out of me lately, and I am not okay with it. It's like COVID got my lungs pregnant with little Mucinex booger babies and every cough is an abortion. And much like actual abortions, there are simply never enough.
I do find some comfort in ancient philosophy and realize that all these loogies are for the best. It's a sign that my lungs were in bad shape and that this is my path to betterment. It's just taking a little while to get rid of all the junk. But as the great thinker Shrek has always said: "Better out than in"
31-35, M
