Question about PM etiquette on this site

Women in particular get a ton of pms from random dudes that usually result in sexual harassment so there's not a lot of immediate trust.

Best bet is to talk first in Q&A and then either ask to pm, or pm once you've struck a rapport.

Talk to people on their posts firsts. It is so off putting when some stranger just shows up in your PMs. It would be courteous to directly ask if they want to chat in PMs.

I don't think there's a hard and fast answer. I go with my instincts and I don't think I've ever seriously offended anyone by sending a PM that wasn't pre-approved. In my mind, a PM is sometimes more appropriate than a public response. By the way, if I'm wrong and HAVE offended anyone, my apologies -- and I hope I've only ever offended you once.

I think there are a few rules though:

Don't be a dick.

Don't expect an answer.

If their "About Me" or their "Message Introduction" thing says "Don't even think about it", then don't even think about it.

If they don't respond to your first PM, don't send another one. Don't feel insulted and don't whine about it. Not even to yourself.

Don't, under any circumstances, be a dick. If you think you might be getting close to a line, you're probably over it.

Don't assume people are here for sexchat. Read their about me, and message introductions if they've filled them out.
Remember no one here is obligated to answer messages.

Some members have a "Before you PM me" That advises personal boundaries I know Meowsolini has.

Guess could try pm with respectable language n accept it If the person is not interested sending any material not of good taste is crass

My PM etiquette only extends to those I am familiar with on the Q n A. Otherwise, you're in the message requests since 2019

...and if you are going to ask first, don't do it on every single post you see her on.

She'll tell you off for that too 😅

Ask permission.

{@falconsolo] well if you do not want them to message you. do not bother with it and if they cannot get the hint you do not wish to talk to them then block or mute them 🤷‍♂️

Women say ask men say go for it.

I wouldn't pm first but if I get a pm i wont mind

Go on PM everyone!

I DARE YA!

I’d say you can’t go wrong asking permission, especially while speaking with posters in the Q&A. Because of some of the ridiculous pms a lot of us receive from out of nowhere, some women won’t reply otherwise. And a few will automatically block.

@AmbivalentFriability I prefer that too I’m usually put off when a person I’ve never interacted with privately messages me

Go for it

Just PM. I have 124 unread messages currently. I only answer specific messages but you won’t know unless you try.