Please Say Something?
Today I tried to kill myself by drinking a lot and taking all my medications at once and I couldn't bring myself to do it so I just got drunk.
I spend the rest of the day sleeping and recovering, my mom takes me out to eat and pretty much guilts me about how much work it would have been to get the funeral ready and take care of loans, etc.
We come home, start watching a movie with dad. I clean my room and shower and my girlfriend comes over. She sits with me and comforts me for a while, and then she starts crying because she hasn't felt like herself for a week or so now and said a lot about our relationship; she feels like she doesn't know me after 5 months of dating, wants to go on more dates, doesn't feel the same way about me as she did before, that she feels this way even though she says I've done nothing wrong.
I try so so hard to be a good boyfriend and person despite my depression. I try to cheer people up, make em laugh, give them gifts, sit at meals with them, hang with them.
I don't know what to do. I hate myself and she doesn't seem to love me anymore no matter what I say or do. She doesn't say the same things as before. She doesn't kiss me anymore. She doesn't talk to me and care for me like before. But I'm convinced that she's the one and I don't know what to do.
I spend the rest of the day sleeping and recovering, my mom takes me out to eat and pretty much guilts me about how much work it would have been to get the funeral ready and take care of loans, etc.
We come home, start watching a movie with dad. I clean my room and shower and my girlfriend comes over. She sits with me and comforts me for a while, and then she starts crying because she hasn't felt like herself for a week or so now and said a lot about our relationship; she feels like she doesn't know me after 5 months of dating, wants to go on more dates, doesn't feel the same way about me as she did before, that she feels this way even though she says I've done nothing wrong.
I try so so hard to be a good boyfriend and person despite my depression. I try to cheer people up, make em laugh, give them gifts, sit at meals with them, hang with them.
I don't know what to do. I hate myself and she doesn't seem to love me anymore no matter what I say or do. She doesn't say the same things as before. She doesn't kiss me anymore. She doesn't talk to me and care for me like before. But I'm convinced that she's the one and I don't know what to do.
22-25, M
