Forced relationship with step dad never panned our.. alienated dad in process. Now don’t have a dad.

Parents divorced at the age of 7. Long nasty divorce where my real dad was having an affair for 10 years. Really horrible thing to do. He cheated on that wife too.. now on his 4th but has been with her for 11 years. He seems to be a changed man. However, for the 15 years he was absent (and repeatedly broke my heart) I had a step dad in my life. You see, my mom with 3 kids mind you remarried a guy who was 24 when she was 43.. he was so fun and cool.. they dated for 5 years because she wasn’t sure. During that process he became very wealthy.. he supported ya financially. Paid for cars, college things a lot of step dads couldn’t do.. but it kept us at bay.. earned him the praise of my mom who just desperately didn’t want this mans life to pass by without feeling like he had children. She told us constantly how much he cared.. and often how he felt like we didn’t love him. From that time on I made a huge effort to show I cared. I changed my last name even. And eventually because of the absence of my biological father, came to truly absolutely 100% view him as my dad. The hurt and pain caused by my dad went away.. and I was so happy and felt like gee I had a real dad.. I told myself that a lot. I never questioned that he didn’t call me, that I only saw him a few times a year.. that messages went unreturned.. conversations short and brief.. after graduating college.. it started to kind of creep into my mind. I’d see other girls with their dads.. I realized ours was far from that.. I would ask my mom why he didn’t call back “oh he’s busy, he’s got a lot going on.. he runs a business you know!” “Just keep trying him, you have to leave a voicemail”... I believed it. And eventually I stopped calling so much.. he was busy.. he didn’t have time..during that time my mom would also every now and again mentioned how our step dad feels unloved, like we don’t care about him. I’d make efforts to call again.. send birthday cards, presents .. be there for Father’s Day, big events etc.. Even go as far as to ignore an salients my biological dad because well.. he lost his chance and my step dad was my real dad.. my mom has been pumping in my brain how much he cared for us.. and financially he paid for a lot still.. my mom would pick out nice gifts and say it was from them both etc.. well..recently she gave me another talk about how he just feels so unloved.. us kids don’t really love him..we need to show more.. so I’m the last 3 months I’ve sent 22 texts.. just pictures of my daughter.. cool milestones with work. Asking how ha doing ..today I realized he hasn’t responded once...not once.. hasn’t returned a phone call.. it’s hit me like a ton of bricks.. he doesn’t view us as his children. He doesn’t love us.. this has been a sham. He just wants my mom. Which is great for her.. but what a lie Weve been living... what a harsh reality.. I’m also starting to see that I alienated my real father for this guy who doesn’t even care.. just wants to put on a front to make my mom happy.. and I’m really close to wanting to say something but I know it would devastate my mom.. she’s old.. she’s to naive to see it... she’s going to die and he’s going to drop us all like flies.. she also abhors that we would ever have anything to do with our bio dad because it would upset this man.. which it probably does! He’s jealous. And hates my biological dad for what he did to my mom. But doesn’t love us. Do I confront him? Do I let it go and distance myself and not care about their judgment with us not coming around as much? Anyone been in similar situation? Any advice? Please be kind. I’m at this point where I realize I’ve given up a relationship with my real dad for a man who just puts on a front to make my mom happy, but doesn’t really care or love us.. I essentially don’t have a dad.. and that’s a tough pill to swallow. Much love to you for reading my story