Are men intimidated by intelligent women?

@ravenwind43 This goes along with what I said about intelligence...strength whether it be mental, emotional, or even physical is not the issue in itself. It is how the woman expresses it and displays it. You are right, men do have a natural tendency and instinct of protectiveness. Men do have a need for a woman to have a certain amount of "softness" to them, and women who are overly aggressive, standoffish, or even show signs of being abusive are very intimidating to a man. Just like women...men want to be appreciated, admired, accepted, and loved/liked for who they are just the way they are. Men do admire and appreciate strength and intelligence in a woman...but there are a lot of women out there today who mistake 'bitchiness' with strength.

@indyjoe Well said. I think words such as strength and intelligence can be trigger words and some men won't take the time to see beyond them. I am a softy, but also strong. I'm not a "ball buster." I also agree there are women who mistake bitchiness with strength. Absolutely! I always say if a woman is trying to hard to sound tough, she is often not tough at all.:)

@ravenwind43 That is one thing that attracted me to and I love so much about my wife...she is a strong woman who is not afraid to show that strength when necessary, but she is also not afraid to have a softer feminine side as well. She has the qualities of a 'tomboy' yet she is also lady-like and sort of classy too. She balances it out perfectly. She is just not afraid to be human and that is one of her most endearing qualities.

@indyjoe I really appreciate the lovely things you say about your wife here. Not many people are here talking positively about their spouse and I find it refreshing, and that you have such a clear view of her also tells me she picked well. I wish the two of you many years of happiness:):)

@ravenwind43 Thank you, that is very sweet of you to say. I just speak what's in my heart, and I pay her the highest respect because she deserves it.

@indyjoe 👍 It truly does me good to see whole and healthy relationships. My marriage didn't go that route but one day I will find one. :)

@ravenwind43 I hope you do and I'm sure you will. My wife and are always saying that we wish others could find and have what we have together, and we feel sad that so many people do not.

My grandparents had a beautiful relationship for 55 years. It has always inspired me.:)

@ravenwind43 I always find it a beautiful thing when I see married couples (especially older ones) who seem to be still very much in love.

@indyjoe Me too! Even in their 60's my grandparents were openly affectionate and flirted with one another. I always said THAT'S what I want. I got married despite my grandfather expressing concern. I should have listened to him:)

@ravenwind43 I didn't have those influences in my family much growing up, all of my inspiration came from observing others relationships/marriages and that showed me what I wanted and didn't in mine. My parents were married for 55 years and I mostly learned from them what I didn't want (I often wondered why they were even married while growing up).

@indyjoe It's said the best lessons sometimes come from difficulty and that is what you did. Harder but valuable.:)

@ravenwind43 This is very true....I often say that if my parents taught me anything it was how NOT to be. And that is what I discovered with every bad situation I went through in my life. I hated it at the time, and I wouldn't want to ever do it or go through it again...but I have no regrets and it all brought me to where I am now and made me who I am.

@indyjoe Absolutely. That is the right attitude! :)

@ravenwind43 To be honest I don't fully buy into the "bad treatment" in childhood excuse for bad behavior. From experience I know that it ultimately comes down to a choice as to how a person turns out when they grow up. I don't believe in the "that's all they knew" argument. Sure, they may have gone through and lived with hell...but there are still a lot of other good people and influences for them to observe, talk with, and learn from..so it is not "all" they knew. I was bullied, I grew up in a family that all but shunned me, I went through a lot of mistreatment from "friends" and from relationships and potential relationships. I could have just decided that I would retaliate by doing to other people what was done to me, but instead I chose to follow the influences of other good people and it lead me down the right path. I'm not boasting, just stating a truth.

@indyjoe I don't buy into it either and I agree:)