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How should i find worthy social connections for my depressed self?

I'm actually depressed and i have no one to talk to. I have tried to make connections but none works which makes me more frustrated. In the past several months i gave up the close people i trusted with my emotions because it reached a point i was no longer important to them. They were making excuses so i adjusted. We still talk on phone till now but its mostly basic talk or when they have 'an issue' they want to talk with me about. Back to my depression/anxiety concerns. I tried a "feel good cannabis smoke' to cover my bad evenings when im alone but the following day i crash down so hard emotionally that i cannot get out of bed but feel like crying. So i really try to avoid that.
Problem is not that i cannot interact with people. I just do not connect well with their vibe. I either feel the interaction is petty hence i cannot spend a lot of time in such groups or they do not see the explicit meaning in things i say. I dont have a partner but i try to make connections but they seem to slip off my hands just when im getting excited for myself. I dont blame anyone neither do i have hate towards them for doing so. My problem is i get so angry at myself that my depression chokes me. I dont know how to proceed because sometimes i feel like the conflict in me is too strong to handle. my neighbors know im a peaceful and nice person but part of me is telling me they're wondering how comes im always alone. That does not bother me anyway but i just wish to resolve this part of me.
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Fallflower · 46-50, F
Try a few weeks of saying yes to everything.
silentkev · 36-40, M
I feel hurt/guilty when i say yes to something myself is not comfortable with
Fallflower · 46-50, F
Yep, the point is to get out of your comfort zone @silentkev
silentkev · 36-40, M
Lately im doing this too, going out to parks or just hanging out in public spaces with people so that those walls of depression do not close in on me and start sucking my energy