tough love vs coddling and commiserating?

SW-User Best Comment

Well, both. We need soft love to feel warm and to feel secure in ourselves and emotion. But we also need tough love so we can feel strong, independent, and growth. Each way has its own benefit.

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biohak · 36-40, M

@texasdaddydom i expected more domsub replies lol

SW-User

@biohak Of course, tough love is also warm. It shows us that the other person wants us to grow. They love us, so that is why they want us to grow by using the tough side of love. Because they want the best for us.

Platoscave · F

@biohak look at mine dude.

Spoiledbrat · F

Why can’t there be an in between?

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Spoiledbrat · F

I find tough love to be domineering or demanding and less responsive. Authoritative parenting is responsive and consistent but still have high expectations. @biohak

biohak · 36-40, M

@Spoiledbrat we just have different definitions of tough love then i guess. for me tough love is just being tough only when the benefit of being tough outweighs the possible damage of it

Spoiledbrat · F

I just feel like children need to be taught how to make their own choices rather than have their choices be made for them. @biohak

TidyTimecheck · 46-50, M

You have to have a bit of both.
Kids need boundaries but parents who go overboard on discipline tend to create deceitful, manipulative offspring, in my experience.

HaHLoBravado · 36-40, M

That's a slippery slope.. going through it with a 10 year old.
Much value in the latter

Platoscave · F

false dichotomy dreamed up by abused people

bijouxbroussard · F

Often “tough love” is not very loving. But sometimes you have to step back and let the person catch their own balance or actually fall, so they can get back up. 🙁

biohak · 36-40, M

@bijouxbroussard in that metaphor i think falling is what needs to happen obviously not in every situation bt thats what defines tough love tough love isnt being too tough it being just tough enough

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