Do u think I should have a baby before I get married ? 馃懄馃懅馃懚
Or
get married first then have a baby. I don't know. I kinda like it better the other way around. Because marriage is tough..nothing is guaranteed. What do you think. Baby first dammit. 馃槧
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@Zonuss How does it depend on the situation? 1- you have someone somewhat equal, you two need to establish a healthy relationship. They already have the tools to. You chose them, they chose you. It is consensual.
2- Children- You aren't equal. You force them into existence but you don't get to choose their capabilities and their limitations. You don't get to choose their health or control it. They completely rely on you doing the right thing. The damage you cause, = very likely, will last a life time. It is the most important relationship in their lives and it will set the course of all their future relationships. Everything you do to them as parent will define that.
Maybe instead of looking at how it will affect you, look at how it affects them.
@Miram Again it depends on the situation. The kids are usually fine. You show them love and support they will be fine. A lot of people often loose themselves or their priorities not necessarily because of the parents. But because they make bad choices and usually they know better. Accountability is a rare thing nowadays. What you're seeing in today's world is a generation that doesn't want to be accountable. 馃檪
@Zonuss I don't look at an entire generation. I look at a single person and decide why they are unfit to parent.
And lot of people in the generation you are looking at get effed over by their parents. And I am sure that's difficult for most to admit because it means they failed them.
Bad choices are often motivated by psychological habits. And most of that is the product of upbringing. You talk to yourself, the way your parents did.
I think when you lack self-discipline you should not have kids. This situation included.
@Zonuss Also it is kind of sound reckless to me to decide they will be fine. You are taking it recklessly. The best parents that I met are those who question if they are doing good instead of assuming it out of convenience.
I do realize these are harsh words but I am sure you can handle it.
