I’m not ok

i keep thinking of how easy it would be to kill myself right now. When I think about actually going through with it I feel at ease. Like “yeah, see? Just do that and everything will be fine. You won’t have to worry about anything anymore” and the temptation is sweeter than sugar. Sweeter than sugar. Knowing that I have a way out...

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DDonde · 31-35, M

You have to fight the delusion. It IS a delusion.

Knucklez · 31-35, M

How is it a delusion? Life is pain and death is release. Am I wrong here? @DDonde

DDonde · 31-35, M

@Knucklez Yes. It can't be release if you don't experience it.

Knucklez · 31-35, M

Exactly right there “you don’t experience it” you don’t experience anything when you’re dead. Not joy, not content, not happiness. But also not pain. Not hate. Not spite. Not sorrow. Not remorse. Not anything. And for me that seems like a really sweet trade off. I’m sorry, but it does. @DDonde

DDonde · 31-35, M

@Knucklez It's not that "you don't experience it", it's that the concept is meaningless. It's meaningfully equivalent with suffering for all eternity. There is no benefit to suicide. None. Lack of pain is only better than pain if the person exists.

Knucklez · 31-35, M

Dying will not erase me from existence. Dying will, however, turn me into an unthinking, unfeeling, pile of guck in the ground. I will still exist, just as a corpse. You’re going to have to be a little more direct with the point you were trying to make, I have a feeling I missed it @DDonde

DDonde · 31-35, M

@Knucklez Your corpse is not you.

Knucklez · 31-35, M

@DDonde I cant and I don’t