Before and after

Before I met you, all I did was jeopardise my life. My life was a ball of trash headed into the can before you. I drank till I blacked out. I popped till I passed out. I smoked till I coughed up blood. I was even an amateur mercenary. I have excepted...compensation....for the bodily injuries of others. Why? Because I don’t care what happens to my life. I’d be lying if I said my first thought wasn’t “I hope this guy has a gun” before I jumped him. I was hoping he’d shoot me. If you don’t accept my life, then it’s getting thrown away. I was trash before you, apparently I’ll be trash after. I’ve thought about how others will feel once they realise I’m gone, but I’m going through with it anyway. And that’s what makes me trash

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SW-User

No don't do that. You can replace her.

Knucklez · 31-35, M

I don’t want to replace her. I want her. I JUST CANT FUCKING STAND THE THOUGHT...of her needing to be without me. Why did I have to go AND FUCK EVERYTHING UP LIKE I ALWAYS DO!? Goddammit I hate myself so much. I want to put a matching scar on my other shoulder same as the gash on this one. But if I do she will most definitely leave. I don’t know what to do but look up at the sky and scream. Or drop to my knees and weep@SW-User

SW-User

@Knucklez who put those scratches on you? I seen that pic.

Knucklez · 31-35, M

They weren’t scratches. Those were cuts from a knife I made razor sharp. Like “press into a tree to cut it in half sharp” like “let a scarf fall daintily on this bitch so I can watch it split in two” sharp. I’m very good at sharpening knives. About the only skill I actually got. There is a satisfaction in it. But when I lost my head I turned the blade on myself. It’s actually a deep cut. I’ve had smaller that’s needed staples. It’s too late for stitches now though. It’s just going to be an ugly scar now. But I really want more just like it. Preferably on my face so I start to look better! @SW-User

SW-User

@Knucklez no stop it. You're acting crazy.

Knucklez · 31-35, M

I am crazy. I’m fucking psychotic. Schizophrenic too. Oh, and let’s not forget bipolar cuz they just love to hand that one out@SW-User