Do “chubby chasers” actually think chubby people are attractive?

Or do they just know that most chubby people have less self-confidence and are more likely to put out?

I guess I should have put that I am chubby and that’s why I’m asking, not trying to be rude to chubby people

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HootyTheNightOwl

Some people genuinely do have an attraction for people who are not height weight proportionate... and, fortunately for those of us with a little extra meat on our bones, it isn't always about the desire to feed them up into something that they may not necessarily want to be.

It's not really fair to question what body type someone should be into without actually knowing that person as an individual in the same way as we can't really be judging people who love older or younger people than themselves. Sometimes, we get so wrapped up in trying to figure out people's motives that we could miss out on something that could be beautiful because we were too busy trying to work out if this person was trying to poke fun at us or something instead.

Mamapolo2016 · F

@HootyTheNightOwl Perfect.

Dionysus · 41-45, F

@HootyTheNightOwl your response is a breathe of fresh air! Thank you for being more articulate than me

HootyTheNightOwl

@Dionysus I've kind of spent my whole life fighting against the attitudes of people who can't understand that it is possible to fall in love with someone who is 20+ years older than you without being a "gold digger" or something similar to that - so I guess I've had more time and practice at defending myself and those that I love through that sort of situation that lends itself well to being able to understand that it is possible to love someone enough to see past their age or (in this case) weight.

It does annoy me when society as a whole can't look past the boxes that we are supposed to live in and accept that we don't all conform to it's standards, though - especially when you are having to fight to get family members to accept that you love each other and there's nothing that they can say or do that will ever change that fact.

Mamapolo2016 · F

@HootyTheNightOwl A good friend is maybe 100 lbs overweight and has been since her wedding day forty years ago. Her husband is 18 yrs older than she. There were minds blowing everywhere that day.

They are more attuned than any couple I have ever known. They enjoy each other's company as much now as the day they met. Why do people even think they need to understand? It just IS.

HootyTheNightOwl

@Mamapolo2016 I'm not that different in that I tried dating people in my own age range... but I always found that they lacked a certain maturity and, quite often, they didn't know how to treat me.

I eventually went through a phase where I started trying to date older and older men until I settled in an age bracket that finally felt right to me and I've remained there ever since - even though some of the men have struggled to accept the fact that they were old enough to be my father or that they had children older than i was.

I still haven't changed in that I'd much rather have an older partner who can engage my mind as well as my body over someone my own age who still seems to lack the level of maturity that suits me.

Mamapolo2016 · F

@HootyTheNightOwl There should be no reason to explain it.

HootyTheNightOwl

@Mamapolo2016 That's what I thought, too... but one of the nicer responses that I've had over the years is a genuine attempt to understand.

At least that's better than trying to get people to accept that my partner and my father are two very different people - one of whom, I wouldn't be seen dead with through choice... but that's a whole different kettle of fish that bears no relevance to this subject.

Mamapolo2016 · F

@HootyTheNightOwl I can't speak for others but I don't fall in love with shoulders or butts. It's the brain and heart that's my fetish.

HootyTheNightOwl

@Mamapolo2016 Exactly!!! A good brain and a heart that's in the right place are both attractive qualities that I look for, too.

Don't get me wrong, it doesn't hurt to have a partner that's attractive to look at for whatever reason, but we don't always retain those qualities for the rest of our lives - whereas our internal qualities tend to remain constant regardless of our weight, age and/or illnesses.

Mamapolo2016 · F

@HootyTheNightOwl I have nothing against pretty scenery and I try to provide it for others. But gorgeous as the beach may be, eventually there will come a storm.