Do you want me to see you as my equal or as a woman

@Mamapolo2016 Your words were very profound and your example opened my eyes. You are absolutely right it does go both ways. You are absolutely right some people use things to their advantage. I respect you for never using your gender to get something or be exempt from doing something. I was angry because I saw a woman provoke a situation at my job and then when she was being investigated she said she was the victim and no woman should have to be treated like that. As a result we have had a sensitivity training course Every Thursday for 3 hours. We are learning how to be inclusive. My point is she got away with being wrong because she can play the I am a woman card. I will be honest with you not just women do it. People of different ethnic groups also do the same thing. People of different sexual orientations also do the same thing. The entire time I am told to treat them like any other person but they put so much effort and emphasis on being different.

@Capt11 There are always - this is a wonderful word I learned from a British woman here on SW - "remoaners."

Many women still experience harassment and ill treatment in the workplace. I certainly did, uncountable times. But I never filed a complaint of any nature because I felt a responsibility to prove women were equally valuable in the workplace.

People of all ethnicities and genders and religions have learned to claim discrimination because it works. I have heard many a white male in the workplace whine about not getting promoted because a black man or a woman of any race got promoted instead. In nearly every case of that, I wouldn't have hired the man speaking in the first place, much less promoted him.

There are at least two reasons why this belief is so pervasive.

It s human nature that our attention is caught most by something that may directly affect us. Men rarely 'hear' sexual harassment in a comment or behavior because most of the time that's a problem men don't have. Whites don't hear racism for the same reason - they only hear it directed agajnst them.

I agree with you that emphasizing differences is further polarizing us, but then again, those whose voices were never heard want to be heard NOW, and I understand that.

It's time we all learned that treating someone differently, positive or negative, because of some factor they do not control - skin color,ethnicity, gender - is discrimination.

It's more, even, than the obvious reasons. Who knows what problems persons who didn't get a chance to speak may have solved? We waste wonderful skill and talent when we say "white males" or "Hispanic women" only need apply.

To answer your question, how I want you to see me in the workplace is neither as your equal (I may be better or worse than you) nor as a woman.

I want you to see me as a colleague, as a team mate, because presumably we are working toward the same goal. Outside the workplace, if you are socially significant in my life, see me as a woman who worked just as hard as you did today, whether I was home with the house and the kids, or selling real estate. Outside the workplace, if you are not in my private life, it's fine with me if you don't see me at all.

You said some interesting things I appreciate the thought and depth in which you answer questions. I know I went to State College lol but I was always under the impression that discrimination was a negative thing. You seem to think that any treatment that is different falls under that category even if it is for their positive. That is a perspective I am going to ponder significantly.

As for how you want me to see you. You use the term that I always use teammate. You are part of the team. The kicker is no less valuable then the quarterback. I agree with you because if the game comes down to a last minute kick the quarterback can not help you.

When it comes to socially I think it is very different. I have found myself looking at women as friends only potential lovers or someone to avoid. When I say that out loud he makes me seem like I am objectifying them. I don't know where I developed that thinking but I recognize I think that way. I have never had a problem in the business world. I shake everyone's hand there are no hugs or any inappropriate touching. I have been that way my whole life.

It is a hard time for many of us because for so many years people men took advantage and abused their power. When you abuse your power you betray the trust and the faith of the people who work with you. Sadly that was never considered he was always about the temporary immediate gratification. That behavior has set us back many years.

Once again thank you for your great reply have a good day.

@Capt11 My take on it is - if I treat a woman or a black person or a handicapped person worse that those I consider my 'natural peers' that is discrimination, and in the long run everyone is poorer for it. If I treat them BETTER, that is condescension and I will never see them clearly, as my equal, or as just another human with flaws and foibles just like me, and again everybody loses.

I am going to accept that, thank you for your wisdom and insight and for not being rude.

@Capt11 You are welcome and thank you for not being rude too!

There is an advantage to my age. I can remember when almost nobody thought the way almost wverybody does today, and I understand sometimes we have to give people some time to catch up. Just because I got up this morning and changed my whole way of thinking doesn't mean YOU did, too.