If you were me...?

I am a anitsocial person who is over slightly over weight. Where I work the people criticize me and I have been bad for business I don’t know if I am going to get fired everyday I wake upo worry I am also trying to get into college. When I first started work I was a laughing stock to everyone even the customers. Now people hardly come here when it’s my shift my employees shun me as I shun them back for their rude remarks behind my back (including my boss)I am worried it will be like this forever. I can’t quite just yet I have bills. This guy I liked here I wanted to make him my friend. He is a ladies man and a great talker. He has been here the longest and makes me feel like crap the most. He use to like me but I am so quiet and fat he now shuns me away. And also has other following his footsteps in shunning me unless I talk about something interesting they shun me. I almost killed myself one night when a customer came in talking about how fat I was... I can’t even with this job idk what to do other than give up which is what everyone is waiting for.

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Scarlet5 · 26-30, F

If I were in your situation, I think that I would work on weight loss, fitness, and health more. But it’s easy to say that when I don’t know the whole story.
I hope your coworkers learn to mind their own business and worry about themselves because they are the real problem here.
I might suggest looking for a new job too cause working with people like that sounds toxic.
But what I don’t understand is how are you “bad for business”?
And don’t worry about assholes saying rude things about your weight, they aren’t worth it. I know it’s hard not to though sigh But whatever you do, do it for yourself, not for others. Focus on self improvement and health, physical and mental

Tiffany654300 · 26-30, F

i Work I a place like subway but I make pizza. I try to talk but I have no idea what to say i have talked multiple times and have embarrassed myself.@Scarlet5

Scarlet5 · 26-30, F

Now that— I can understand on a spiritual level.
Is the problem more about being sorta blank-minded (not being able to come up with things to say) or is it not being able to put your thoughts into words?
@Tiffany654300

Tiffany654300 · 26-30, F

@Scarlet5 both

Scarlet5 · 26-30, F

Yup, same.
I also have both of those problems and after some research (that I did months ago), I concluded that the “not knowing how to put thoughts into words” thing is likely something called Expressive Language Disorder. And the blank mindedness (if not from ELD) is possibly a symptom of ADD or ADHD (in my case, ADD).
I’m not saying that you have either of those but it’s something you can look into.

I’m telling you this because for me, knowing that there was (and is) a reason why it’s so hard for me to communicate with other people, has [in a way] helped me cope with it.

Do you have this problem with family and/or people you’re comfortable with, as well?
If you don’t, it could just be Social Anxiety and a lack of social development.

Either way, it can be helped with speech or cognitive behavioral therapy. I, personally haven’t tried either myself. @Tiffany654300

Tiffany654300 · 26-30, F

Thanks I will look into it@Scarlet5

Scarlet5 · 26-30, F

No problem at all. Good luck! I hope everything works out for you @Tiffany654300