If you were me...?

I am a anitsocial person who is over slightly over weight. Where I work the people criticize me and I have been bad for business I don’t know if I am going to get fired everyday I wake upo worry I am also trying to get into college. When I first started work I was a laughing stock to everyone even the customers. Now people hardly come here when it’s my shift my employees shun me as I shun them back for their rude remarks behind my back (including my boss)I am worried it will be like this forever. I can’t quite just yet I have bills. This guy I liked here I wanted to make him my friend. He is a ladies man and a great talker. He has been here the longest and makes me feel like crap the most. He use to like me but I am so quiet and fat he now shuns me away. And also has other following his footsteps in shunning me unless I talk about something interesting they shun me. I almost killed myself one night when a customer came in talking about how fat I was... I can’t even with this job idk what to do other than give up which is what everyone is waiting for.

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Scarlet5 · 26-30, F

If I were in your situation, I think that I would work on weight loss, fitness, and health more. But it’s easy to say that when I don’t know the whole story.
I hope your coworkers learn to mind their own business and worry about themselves because they are the real problem here.
I might suggest looking for a new job too cause working with people like that sounds toxic.
But what I don’t understand is [i]how[/i] are you “bad for business”?
And don’t worry about assholes saying rude things about your weight, they aren’t worth it. I know it’s hard not to though sigh But whatever you do, do it for yourself, not for others. Focus on self improvement and health, physical and mental

Tiffany654300 · 26-30, F

i Work I a place like subway but I make pizza. I try to talk but I have no idea what to say i have talked multiple times and have embarrassed myself.@Scarlet5

Scarlet5 · 26-30, F

Now that— I can understand on a spiritual level.
Is the problem more about being sorta blank-minded (not being able to come up with things to say) or is it not being able to put your thoughts into words?
@Tiffany654300

Tiffany654300 · 26-30, F

@Scarlet5 both

Scarlet5 · 26-30, F

Yup, same.
I also have both of those problems and after some research (that I did months ago), I concluded that the “not knowing how to put thoughts into words” thing is likely something called Expressive Language Disorder. And the blank mindedness (if not from ELD) is possibly a symptom of ADD or ADHD (in my case, ADD).
I’m not saying that [i]you[/i] have either of those but it’s something you can look into.

I’m telling you this because for me, knowing that there was (and is) a reason why it’s so hard for me to communicate with other people, has [in a way] helped me cope with it.

Do you have this problem with family and/or people you’re comfortable with, as well?
If you don’t, it could just be Social Anxiety and a lack of social development.

Either way, it can be helped with speech or cognitive behavioral therapy. I, personally haven’t tried either myself. @Tiffany654300

Tiffany654300 · 26-30, F

Thanks I will look into it@Scarlet5

Scarlet5 · 26-30, F

No problem at all. Good luck! I hope everything works out for you @Tiffany654300