relationship in bad place.. can it get better?

When my husband and I first met we were so in love. We’ve been together 5 year, just had a baby.. and although we had our share of disagreements before the baby.. it seems like all of a sudden, 6 months after baby has been nothing but criticism “you are just like your mother” “you don’t care about our daughter” “you’re body parts (after baby) look weird..um..yahh’..”you are messy”/“looks like you you-ified he car” aka it’s messy...you lose everything” “your just destroy everything you touch” “your face looks weird after baby” (melasma) anyway it’s these constant character criticisms..I’ll admit I still have 30lbs to lose after baby and I feel ugly as hell.. but these statements hurt.. and tonight after asking my husband to get me more baby food because I think baby is still hungry .. he told me I put him down in front of our daughter too much.. and I get what he saying.. I really do.. oftentimes I disagree with what he’s saying and do correct him...but after all the character critisisms I’ve beeb getting lately, I let him have it after that last comment.. I’m getting to this point where I feel like he’s made me out to be this messy, demanding, not attractive (he says he does but after all the body criticisms I cant imagine he finds me attractive anymore, based on the stuff he says) wife.. and I know I’m not those things.. I am totally still attractive and I care a lot about other people, and I’m nice and hardworking, polite, kind hearted.. my question is..there is apart of me that doesn’t want to be with someone who feels that way about me.. should I give this more time, force us to go to counseling? Can our relationship get better after having been in such a horrible place? We are also dealing with lack of affection issues.. it’s just a totally negative relationship.. we’ve had slot of talks saying we’d go to counseling and it’ll get better but..I don’t know.. Im worried we can’t fix it..Anyone have similar experiences they can share?

dragonfly46 · F Best Comment

Only a few thoughts, take what you can, dump the rest.
Been married for 29 years, the young child\baby days were the most challenging. We fought, cried, screamed, blamed our way right through it. It was so difficult. It's really hard. Both of us remembering that and lovingly reminding each other helped. We agreed to let go of the small things and try each day to be supportive of each other.

Now this is one of the best things I've ever learned as a mom and wife. I swear it works, try it.
You as the mother and wife are the precious heart of your family. [b]You set the tone for your family.[/b] You start the day crabby, everyone in your family, from the man to the dog will be crabby. You wake up and are positive, everyone will be more positive. So, love your family through this time. Wake up the whole family with love. [b]What you put out there, you will get back.[/b] Help him be the best man he can be, he will reciprocate, you just have to get that ball going, and keep it in play.

The above advice saved my sanity and my marriage.

GlitterBug · 22-25, F

Counseling would be a really good idea. You can’t expect someone to give birth to an actual mini-human and still look the same as before, there’s gonna be some changes. That doesn’t mean you aren’t still hot af, it means you bore a life. Not only that but you wouldn’t have gotten this far with the baby if you didn’t care about her so that’s a bit ridiculous too. He is abusive and an outside opinion may be able to make him see this. If he won’t change then you’d be raising your daughter and wasting your years with someone who is unhealthy. I think it’s possible to repair the damage but only if he’s willing to participate. Best of luck to you, and you sound like an amazing mother, keep being awesome.

GlitterBug · 22-25, F

Of course. I’m glad I was able to help, even if it wasn’t much. :) @Brassm0nk3y