Confronted mom about being too busy for granddaughter and it ya it didn’t go well
I told my parents they are behind the 8 ball on spending time with their 7 months old granddaughter. I let them know that my husbands parents (and his sister) have started to offer a lot of help and it disappoints me that they haven’t offered once to help..
Truth is, they always expect us to go over there (I wrote about this last week), and on top of that they are constantly on vacation, from Hawaii one month to India to Australia, Europe the next.)
We are desperate for some help. I work 60 hours a week, my husband just lost his job so I’m supporting us right now.. my husband and I aren’t getting any time together - we are stressed to the max..so yes, I said to them that we need them to offer some help and come over.. my mom said that wasn’t going to happen.
She wants us to drive an hour each way to them.. lug a cranky baby and all her stuff.on a work night spend hours there and get back super late (they don’t work).
So I said, in this conversation, that they need to start coming to our house at least sometimes..They were SO offended. I did say a couple of other jabs like they remind me of my grandparents (who were never there, only when it was convenient for them), and that all their friends visit their children’s/grand kids houses/ Would do anything for them..
It was ALOT for them to take in apparently, because they came back at me with you are mean, selfish and rude.. how could you be so horrible to us, you bully, your making poor decisions.. just on and on about how awful I was, I created the situation with my husband not having a job (?)
.. am I seeing this all wrong ? Or am I right to want them to offer to come to our house to help with the baby every now and then? And also to offer to spend more time with Logan, spend the night here etc.. If I could chose I would much rather my parents spend more time with my kids than his parents..they (in laws) are totally winning at this grandparent thing, and it hits me a little bit knowing that. My mom was even like “why on earth do you even need help?” You have one baby and your husband isn’t working.. like clearly not getting it. Help. :-l
Truth is, they always expect us to go over there (I wrote about this last week), and on top of that they are constantly on vacation, from Hawaii one month to India to Australia, Europe the next.)
We are desperate for some help. I work 60 hours a week, my husband just lost his job so I’m supporting us right now.. my husband and I aren’t getting any time together - we are stressed to the max..so yes, I said to them that we need them to offer some help and come over.. my mom said that wasn’t going to happen.
She wants us to drive an hour each way to them.. lug a cranky baby and all her stuff.on a work night spend hours there and get back super late (they don’t work).
So I said, in this conversation, that they need to start coming to our house at least sometimes..They were SO offended. I did say a couple of other jabs like they remind me of my grandparents (who were never there, only when it was convenient for them), and that all their friends visit their children’s/grand kids houses/ Would do anything for them..
It was ALOT for them to take in apparently, because they came back at me with you are mean, selfish and rude.. how could you be so horrible to us, you bully, your making poor decisions.. just on and on about how awful I was, I created the situation with my husband not having a job (?)
.. am I seeing this all wrong ? Or am I right to want them to offer to come to our house to help with the baby every now and then? And also to offer to spend more time with Logan, spend the night here etc.. If I could chose I would much rather my parents spend more time with my kids than his parents..they (in laws) are totally winning at this grandparent thing, and it hits me a little bit knowing that. My mom was even like “why on earth do you even need help?” You have one baby and your husband isn’t working.. like clearly not getting it. Help. :-l
36-40, F
