are you still holding on to something that was a lifetime ago

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In a way. The adults in my life introduced stuff to me when I was barely a toddler and continued until I was 14, that severely impacted my life, and as much as I would like to say that I've "let it go", I can't . I still wonder who I might have been had I been raised by normal responsible people. I try hard not to obsess or use it as an excuse, but the past is always there when it's wreckage comes to bite me on the ass.

DarkHeaven ·

@puck61 That’s super sad. 😞

puck61

@DarkHeaven I'm blessed! I have my wits, and I contribute to society. I have comforts and security. My blessings far outweigh my problems! Thank you, though.

SW-User

@puck61 same

DarkHeaven ·

@puck61 & @SW-User I had an idealic life in many ways. No issues at all during childhood, growing up, adulthood and then shortly after turning 31 my life went completely to hell & it’s been a full out nightmare ever since. I am truly sorry for what you both suffered so young. It is terrible. 🖤

SW-User

@DarkHeaven I hope you find the strength through the storm.

puck61

@DarkHeaven That's why it's hard to deal with the seeming 'randomness' of good and bad. Tragedy can strike anyone at any time. Your life being turned upside down at 31 is every bit as tragic as the poison and perversion that wounded me, and maybe Rollerskatesandpocketblades.

DarkHeaven ·

@puck61 It’s a nightmare. And no one to blame unless that someone is me. Nobody did this to me. It just happened to me. And I hate it. 🖤

puck61

@DarkHeaven I'm sorry. You know, the wounded can get together and help each other heal. .....or at least 'deal' with the wounds. That was the original intent of EP after MS. I understand if that's not your bag, but I personally think like-minded wounded people should help each other as far as so called "moral support" is concerned.
I don't like the phrase, "moral support" because the implication does not align with the reality.

DarkHeaven ·

@puck61 Part of why I’m here. I’ve got Dr.s and stuff for the medical aspect of my illness but I just want friends and a safe place to vent. I get really sad still and am dealing through the wreckage I caused to my life a decade ago. This post includes links to all my poetry I’ve posted here. Sorry, it’s pretty dark but I write what I feel.

https://similarworlds.com/4537559-I-Write-Poetry/1832650-Here-are-all-of-my-poems-here-on-SW-I-will-update