My own hell .

Two December's ago I could smile .
Now im back in my loop
I hide.
I don't function.
I don't talk
Anymore.
I dont smile.
I need to be hospitalized before I kill myself .
To treat my ED. But I've lost hope.
No one in my rl knows how physically weak I am.
Bc no one cares to.
I look very different.
I lose massive hunks of time.
No one wants to be real. And neither do I care anymore.
I dont fear the reaper.
I want out