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Is it bad that i am not looking to die but looking forward to it?

rckt148 · 61-69, M
no I fully understand it
but I also suffer from chronic pain
I want to be around to see my son graduate high school ,maybe get married
but I have been on borrowed time a long time ,and I do fear being helpless and crippled again and a burden to others
So if Christ is coming ,I hope its before then
or He lets me sleep before the pain in unmanageable
Taiwaves · 31-35, M
@rckt148 are you not going to be around for your son?
rckt148 · 61-69, M
@Taiwaves I pray to be ,but sometimes when the pain is real bad, I can be just a little selfish and wish it would end ,
but if I am not around ,I have raised Daughters who have kids of their own that are now almost grown ,and all of them make me proud
SO in the event I am not around ( I have lived through 3 heart attacks )
I know my Girls will do an awesome job finishing the work I started .
I know they will miss me as I miss my Mom and Dad
but I also know they will be just fine .
I have already taught them to be self reliant and how to be self sufficient ,
My son is also pretty wise and needs little instruction ,
He will be fine
But I would like to at least hold on until he is married
but they all know none of us are promised tomorrow .
We have lost a lot of family members in the past few years
and I envied every one of them ,they are no longer in pain
Allelse · 36-40, M
What exactly about death are you looking forward to?
Allelse · 36-40, M
@Taiwaves Of course! Ask whatever you like. ☺
Taiwaves · 31-35, M
@Allelse im just interested on your views on why you don't think there is nothing after death?

sorry i only ask because you are near the only one who replied with not a comment but a question so its just my curiosity.
Allelse · 36-40, M
No need to say sorry, you can ask me anything you like.

Well, the universe is an impartial, unfeeling existence. We are not completely unfeeling, humanity that is, we're capable of compassion and all the rest; but the universe, the system at work, birth, death, decay etc is without debate, argument or even in the slightest chance to be bargained with. You're born and then you die. You were not conscious, your born and you are conscious and then you die and are without consciousness. And from what I understand, once your brain dies, well then, you die. We are our brains and while human choice is the ultimate decider before an action is made, it still to me seems nothing more or less than another biological command in reaction and within relation to stimulus, genetics, life experience, upbringing etc.

All the beliefs about death to me are the workings of a primitive people doing their best to make sense of a universe they couldn't possibly make sense of, and I dont blame them for coming up ideas such as 'heaven' and 'A great, grand paradise'. I mean with all we go through in life, its nice to think there is something grand waiting for us on the otherside, but from what I've seen and with what our species has learned about the universe, well, I dont think there is anything after we die.
Jackaloftheazuresand · 26-30, M
Death is the most peaceful thing you will never experience
Aidan · 26-30, F
Jackaloftheazuresand · 26-30, M
@Aidan You'll be too dead
Aidan · 26-30, F
@Jackaloftheazuresand 🤔🤔🤔
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whateverhappens · 26-30, F
do you want to be reincarnated ?
Taiwaves · 31-35, M
@whateverhappens no not really, that wouldn't be much different than the life i am living now only as a different type of animal.
im not sad i am just looking forward to dying
Aidan · 26-30, F
Im looking forward to it to
SW-User
I love life so much more
SW-User
probably not healthy
rosyhills · 31-35, F
No. No more problems
At 22-25 it’s especially sad. 😞
SW-User
If we knew then what we know now...sigh.@bijouxbroussard
Taiwaves · 31-35, M
@bijouxbroussard tbh i've been like this since i was about 12,
which is worse i guess.
i am not sad, i am quite happy rn, but i do look forward to dying, which most people have found weird

 
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