Why won't these desires just go away?

In fact, they've just gotten stronger with time...

It'd help, I suppose, if they were reading from the same playbook. It's like part of me wants to scream to the universe, "I exist! I'm here! Notice me! Pay attention!" before exploding...

The other part wants to pass unnoticed, like a ghost haunting its own existence, before shrinking into nothingness ...