911, what's your emergency?

I have a broken heart that needs mending!! Send some hot fire men over here ASAP lolol

I just left a crowd of people and they sucked the life out of me!

I'm lost on the internet and I don't know where I am.

It's stuck again

There are a bunch of bulldozers and earth moving equipment out in the road tearing the street apart to put in a roundabout. I liked it before better. I don't get to see people having collisions anymore.

What do you plan to do about this?

I need some peroxide, mine is almost used up :)

I'm being trolled online.

I can't get all the silk off of my corn 😢

Sorry dialed in error

I'm getting fat