If I was to start an advice column, Ask lumberjackslam,

I'm so glad you asked@AbbySvenz . We all have those times when we ask.... what's the best chocolate chip cookie recipe? whether it be entertaining guests in the back of your van or in prison. well it depends on what you have to work with in your van or tent. do you have a Dutch oven, for example? here's a recipe that uses only 3 ingredients.
These 3 ingredient chocolate chip cookies are your instant cookie fix! No flour, no eggs, no milk, ...
Ingredients
1 cup peanut butter (smooth and creamy)
1/3 cup maple syrup (* See notes)
1 cup chocolate chips of choice

Knock em dead! 💀

That's a great question @Pfuzylogic and I'm so glad you asked. Never partake in Hoho or swiss roll binges until you have taken your meds. Unholy quantities of sugar should never be eaten without swallowing mass quantities of pills. Follow my column for more suggestions.

I'm sure the cake was not offended @itsok but what do you think of my column so far?

@pancakeslam it’s really refreshing, I’m enjoying it. I like how you work the van into your responses.

This is the perfect question for my dirty white van column @Jimmy2016. I always suggest people load up on low price stocks like PALI, a biotech stock, or Navios Maritime, ticker NM, which operates barely floating Latin American cargo ships. Both under $2. What a deal! Don't forget to park your crap van in the shade and away from cops.

@Jimmy2016 Did you need help with something?

@Lilymoon Maybe. What kind of advice do you need today? 😜