One thing I hate about asking for help
Is that I have to talk about it, and go thru it over and over to different people.
I hate saying it, I hate talking about it, the only thing I'm comfortable with is writing things down, but I'm not even comfortable writing about that now, cause that means I have to think about it.
I know that talking, writing, thinking, not ignoring it is what I need to do to heal from it, but I'm just not very good at dealing with the feelings that comes with it.
I had to talk about it with my doctor yesterday - thankfully not in detail, but even just saying "I was raped" is so uncomfortable. Not to mention adding "more than once". Fml.
I remember asking my therapist once if she could just get me a new brain..
Another thing we spoke about yesterday is how the body reacts. I have a lot of flashbacks and trauma stored in my body, that's not connected to my brain (probably cause I've dissociated), so it's really hard to heal something that I can't even remember.
I hate saying it, I hate talking about it, the only thing I'm comfortable with is writing things down, but I'm not even comfortable writing about that now, cause that means I have to think about it.
I know that talking, writing, thinking, not ignoring it is what I need to do to heal from it, but I'm just not very good at dealing with the feelings that comes with it.
I had to talk about it with my doctor yesterday - thankfully not in detail, but even just saying "I was raped" is so uncomfortable. Not to mention adding "more than once". Fml.
I remember asking my therapist once if she could just get me a new brain..
Another thing we spoke about yesterday is how the body reacts. I have a lot of flashbacks and trauma stored in my body, that's not connected to my brain (probably cause I've dissociated), so it's really hard to heal something that I can't even remember.
