Inner conflictions of a molester
TRIGGER WARNING: CHILD SEX ABUSE
No graphic details will be provided, but it's still on the topic, so please don't read if these types of stories get to you.
..................................................
..................................................
..................................................
..................................................
..................................................
..................................................
..................................................
..................................................
..................................................
..................................................
..................................................
..................................................
..................................................
..................................................
..................................................
..................................................
..................................................
I watched an interview on a survivor of child molestation and she described a look on her molester's face that almost seemed remorseful, like he was saying "I'm sorry I'm doing this to you, but I'm also not going to stop." That quote really stuck with me and now that I think on it, I had observed something very similar in my own molester when it would happen sometimes.
Most of the time, it was just her doing what she did without any regard for me or how I was feeling, but there were a few times where she seemed to express concern. Sometimes I would cry during or immediately after and she would always console me in a heartfelt way, like she felt bad for what she had done. It could have just been her only doing it so I wouldn't tell my mom or anyone, but she would also do this a year into the molestation - long after we had our silent agreement that I couldn't tell. I believe at some point, she knew full well that she was going to get away with it, which she did, but maybe her conscience just caught up with her.
There were a few times I can remember where she just stopped in the middle of it without saying a word, but she wouldn't make eye contact with me or anything, like she was afraid to. We'd sit in total silence for several minutes, I guess until enough time had passed where she could comfortably act like everything was normal. Sometimes, she would make her advances on me, which was almost always how it would start, only to stop in the middle of that too and then not do anything else. Those instances were really strange, because she would freeze for a second before getting up and stopping, like a voice was telling her stop and that was her listening to it.
I don't doubt for a moment that this woman who molested me was a sick deviant as any child molester, but it's intriguing to me how her and others have some semblance of a conscience in them. Enough for them to show a bit of remorse or even compassion at times. It shows that maybe if they had gotten the help they needed, maybe there could've been one less molester claiming one less victim. I can actually empathize with pedophiles who admit they have a problem and wish to get help for it. But when one acts on their urges, that's when any empathy is out the window.
No graphic details will be provided, but it's still on the topic, so please don't read if these types of stories get to you.
..................................................
..................................................
..................................................
..................................................
..................................................
..................................................
..................................................
..................................................
..................................................
..................................................
..................................................
..................................................
..................................................
..................................................
..................................................
..................................................
..................................................
I watched an interview on a survivor of child molestation and she described a look on her molester's face that almost seemed remorseful, like he was saying "I'm sorry I'm doing this to you, but I'm also not going to stop." That quote really stuck with me and now that I think on it, I had observed something very similar in my own molester when it would happen sometimes.
Most of the time, it was just her doing what she did without any regard for me or how I was feeling, but there were a few times where she seemed to express concern. Sometimes I would cry during or immediately after and she would always console me in a heartfelt way, like she felt bad for what she had done. It could have just been her only doing it so I wouldn't tell my mom or anyone, but she would also do this a year into the molestation - long after we had our silent agreement that I couldn't tell. I believe at some point, she knew full well that she was going to get away with it, which she did, but maybe her conscience just caught up with her.
There were a few times I can remember where she just stopped in the middle of it without saying a word, but she wouldn't make eye contact with me or anything, like she was afraid to. We'd sit in total silence for several minutes, I guess until enough time had passed where she could comfortably act like everything was normal. Sometimes, she would make her advances on me, which was almost always how it would start, only to stop in the middle of that too and then not do anything else. Those instances were really strange, because she would freeze for a second before getting up and stopping, like a voice was telling her stop and that was her listening to it.
I don't doubt for a moment that this woman who molested me was a sick deviant as any child molester, but it's intriguing to me how her and others have some semblance of a conscience in them. Enough for them to show a bit of remorse or even compassion at times. It shows that maybe if they had gotten the help they needed, maybe there could've been one less molester claiming one less victim. I can actually empathize with pedophiles who admit they have a problem and wish to get help for it. But when one acts on their urges, that's when any empathy is out the window.
