Eughh whyyy

I don’t know why I cut, I mean like I do, but it’s just boring to me now, the only reason I really do it anymore is because I get a thrill watching blood drip down my arms/legs, I get a thrill seeing the blood staining my skin and clothes, but like even that’s getting boring, and it’s just annoying cuz it itches, and I always pick off scabs early which makes it even more annoying, not to mention having to hide it. It’s to the point where I’ve just… stopped ig. I literally haven’t cut myself for a few days bc it’s boring and I barely get a thrill from it anymore, there’s no point to it anymore. Or maybe I do it because I feel the need to have the scars, I feel like if I don’t have the scars then I’m lying when I say I have scars, because they’ll fade, and eventually be gone. And then no one will believe me when I say I had scars.