living in two worlds

living in two worlds



It’s hard to keep your balance
when you’re living in two worlds.

Life goes on around you:
noises pass you by,
not words but static,
shifting colors, lights and movement.
You go along in a fog,
while seeing, feeling, hearing
events that happened long ago
and now keep repeating
again, again, again…

Like a double exposure
film with two realities
happening at once,
double images and emotions.
Should I pay more attention,
react to one or the other –
how to sort it out?

Sometimes the now displaces then;
then I can stay here for a while,
while then recedes and is hidden,
hidden to jump out -
out of my memory into the now -
now I’m back to then again…

So I search for footholds,
handholds, mindholds,
like projections
and depressions
on a practice climbing wall
so when I start climbing
the mountain again,
I can hold on.
Hold on and don’t fall!

Hold on and don’t fall from now
back into then .