living in two worlds

living in two worlds

It’s hard to keep your balance
when you’re living in two worlds.

Life goes on around you:
noises pass you by,
not words but static,
shifting colors, lights and movement.
You go along in a fog,
while seeing, feeling, hearing
events that happened long ago
and now keep repeating
again, again, again…

Like a double exposure
film with two realities
happening at once,
double images and emotions.
Should I pay more attention,
react to one or the other –
how to sort it out?

Sometimes the now displaces then;
then I can stay here for a while,
while then recedes and is hidden,
hidden to jump out -
out of my memory into the now -
now I’m back to then again…

So I search for footholds,
handholds, mindholds,
like projections
and depressions
on a practice climbing wall
so when I start climbing
the mountain again,
I can hold on.
Hold on and don’t fall!

Hold on and don’t fall from now
back into then .

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RobinPhoenix · M

This is so deep because it's damn true.... I feel every one of your words, every one of your thought-images and all your feelings... I feel your brokenness, torn between what was and what is... I feel your longing to anchor yourself in the present while the maelstrom of the past mercilessly pulls at you .... I wish there was the possibility to take the burden of memory from you, I would carry it myself, so you could finally live liberated and carefree ... do not despair my friend, you are strong and if you are not strong enough to withdraw from then and to stay in the presence, then we are there for you, are close to you, stay with you and help you to bear the unbearable and to come back to the now... you are never alone my friend... you were then, but you will never be alone in this here and now 💙

kodiac · 22-25, M

@RobinPhoenix Thank you my friend meeting you has been a true gift