I Have Many Scars

I dread the day that someone sees them and therefore sees me for who I really am.
I have many scars but I hide them where ever I can. I'm lucky that no one has ever seen them - except for doctors by necessity. But sometimes I fear that they will become a barrier to me being loved. The one person who sees them will run from me.

Does anyone have reveal stories that match or counter this? I'm not here to romanticise self harm. Just the truth for once.

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DarkHeaven ·

I hide mine. I didn’t have this problem until later in life but due to some other circumstances, this was the only way I could lash out at life and over time it became a way I could lash out at myself since I wanted to hurt and suffer.
[image][image]

PandorasBox · 31-35, F

@DarkHeaven It's hard to explain. I feel like I'm in control of it most days - but despite therapy and trying "other coping mechanisms" nothing works as well as this! I don't think I'll ever stop. I don't think I want to. But I only do it when I absolutely have to... Does that make sense?...

DarkHeaven ·

@PandorasBox Yeah, in a weird way, they remind my I’m alive.

PandorasBox · 31-35, F

@DarkHeaven Precisely. When I can't go to a cliff side and scream, I can shout in other ways. Release tension, frustration and anger. I don't like myself anyways ahha.

DarkHeaven ·

@PandorasBox Now I guess if they love me. They have to love it all.
[image][image]Otherwise it’s just fucking bullshit.

DarkHeaven ·

@PandorasBox I am sorry you suffer with it too though. 🖤🤗

PandorasBox · 31-35, F

@DarkHeaven Thanks 🙃 ... It's freeing to talk about it with someone who gets it.

DarkHeaven ·

@PandorasBox I wish I didn’t though. I wish I didn’t crave it sometimes. I wish I never found it.