How do I change this pattern?

I worry that when I get upset with friends, when my stuff comes up and I react to them with the weight of all the hurt I felt in the past pertaining to whatever I’m being triggered by that they will leave me.
This friend won’t but my own beliefs that everyone will hurt me is louder than the truth and it takes a while for me to get out of it.
I hold onto the hurt and ruminate on it and can’t let it go for a while and then I start worrying that they will abandon me.