It's better to be afraid together than to be afraid alone. :)
Would he abandon me? What if I become too much? I was worried if I showed any emotion then people would be quick to abandon me. I felt guilty for grieving over a miscarriage that happened a year ago, and guilt for not feeling anything at other times. Numbness.
I didn't cry at some point, or became numb. It was all focus on college and meeting new people, getting my life together.
When I met him he was also withdrawn, fear. It's nicer to be scared together however, instead of by yourself. At one point after sex I asked if he would come back again to see me....I was afraid he would leave and not come back. Like he would toss me out like I was trash. He got choked up, which also was something I never thought I would see. A man that can show his emotions, it's strong and brave and I fell in love with that.
"Of course I will...why do you ask these things?" He would say while choked up and worried. He held me like I was a baby that time and reassured me that he loved me. He would come back.
Other times I cried for him. Othertimes he cried with me. He would say that he was sorry he couldn't bring back my baby, but that it was okay because he would grieve with me. He was afraid of committment like I was, but the tenderness he showed me and I have shown him has made the fear easier. In the end it's nice knowing that while I have my fears, so does he. And it gives me strength to be brave and endure.
I didn't cry at some point, or became numb. It was all focus on college and meeting new people, getting my life together.
When I met him he was also withdrawn, fear. It's nicer to be scared together however, instead of by yourself. At one point after sex I asked if he would come back again to see me....I was afraid he would leave and not come back. Like he would toss me out like I was trash. He got choked up, which also was something I never thought I would see. A man that can show his emotions, it's strong and brave and I fell in love with that.
"Of course I will...why do you ask these things?" He would say while choked up and worried. He held me like I was a baby that time and reassured me that he loved me. He would come back.
Other times I cried for him. Othertimes he cried with me. He would say that he was sorry he couldn't bring back my baby, but that it was okay because he would grieve with me. He was afraid of committment like I was, but the tenderness he showed me and I have shown him has made the fear easier. In the end it's nice knowing that while I have my fears, so does he. And it gives me strength to be brave and endure.
