Many reminders
I do not know why my brain takes notice of these things like dates and clothes I was wearing on certain dates, but somehow, they just get stuck in my head.
The date my mother passed away last year, was my first day at work after a vacation. I wore a lovely purple shirt which I bought during my vacation. I was excited about the shirt because I couldn't find my size before, and then I found it by pure accident. I just LOVE the colour purple, especially the colour of that shirt, it is my favourite shade of purple.
The day before my mother passed away this year, i was wearing the same shirt to work. On the day she passed away, i was called in very early in the morning to the hospital as her state was very unstable, and they knew it was close. So I didn't have time to look for my casual clothes, I just wore the same thing I had on yesterday, and rushed to the hospital.
I find it spooky how I wore the same shirt on both days, only the first time I wore it, I was going back to work excited about my first day, little did I know that I will be wearing it exactly a year later, in the ICU, while monitoring the screen for hours, and just waiting for her heart rate and pressure to go zero.
Now the look of this shirt reminds me of this gloomy day, just like the look of another shirt reminds me of when i rushed her to emergency one morning while she was in so much pain.. The look of the coffee machine also reminds me of her so I gave it to my friend.. and I am glad that when I moved out, I pretty much took nothing with me.. It seemed a bit like a waste given that i knew that it will only be a year before I immigrate, but it would be very bad to be reminded throughout this year.
The date my mother passed away last year, was my first day at work after a vacation. I wore a lovely purple shirt which I bought during my vacation. I was excited about the shirt because I couldn't find my size before, and then I found it by pure accident. I just LOVE the colour purple, especially the colour of that shirt, it is my favourite shade of purple.
The day before my mother passed away this year, i was wearing the same shirt to work. On the day she passed away, i was called in very early in the morning to the hospital as her state was very unstable, and they knew it was close. So I didn't have time to look for my casual clothes, I just wore the same thing I had on yesterday, and rushed to the hospital.
I find it spooky how I wore the same shirt on both days, only the first time I wore it, I was going back to work excited about my first day, little did I know that I will be wearing it exactly a year later, in the ICU, while monitoring the screen for hours, and just waiting for her heart rate and pressure to go zero.
Now the look of this shirt reminds me of this gloomy day, just like the look of another shirt reminds me of when i rushed her to emergency one morning while she was in so much pain.. The look of the coffee machine also reminds me of her so I gave it to my friend.. and I am glad that when I moved out, I pretty much took nothing with me.. It seemed a bit like a waste given that i knew that it will only be a year before I immigrate, but it would be very bad to be reminded throughout this year.
31-35, F
