I’m so traumatised

I’m a huge mess , I’m unattractive to every guy I’m so shy I hate it nobody wants to know me tonight or talk to me and I’ve ruined my makeup from crying ,, My sleep is messed up , I haven’t been eating properly , I’ve cried like 4 times this week and I’ve had three guys last night try to finger me and lick me out during a private dance nobody noticed so I had to try to stop it myself , I even have a bruise from were a guy grabbed me and tried to make me touch his nipples. I wanted some power because I’ve been sexually assaulted over 5 times if I counted it would be at least 10 so far in my life way before stripping and I just wanted to set the rules and get more confidence and I also love Pole dancing. It’s good money when guys want me but tonight they don’t. And I’m just in a huge mess. I don’t have any friends here. They are nice to me until I get more money than them then they start bullying me they know when a guy picks me over them. And I’m just in a huge mess and I don’t have anyone at all who understands this.