what can you do when you worry about your mum

i'm in my late 40s now, i'm completely alone in life coping with a severe personality disorder, have no friends, no social contacts and don't have a relationship, i've lived alone for 20 years in a little flat.....i'm better mentally than i once was, but still have a lot of times where i struggle, struggle with severe anxiety, paranoia, intense anger problems, worry......the only support i have is from my elderly mum, who i adore very much, we've always been close....my mother lives far now, but phones me 4 times a day..........i have a bit better mental health support now and i'm trying my hardest to work through my problems, one day at a time.......my mum has always told me to just ' take one day at a time, because tomorrow is promised to no one '.

i worry a lot as i've said and i often have my beloved mum on my mind? and worrying about a time in the future when she won't be around, and just that thought devastates me.....i couldn't live with that....my mum is everything to me and always lifts me out of that dark place when i'm in it....my mums comforting words and reassurance help me a great deal...and without my mums presence, love and comfort in this life, i know i couldn't cope......and i'm worrying at the moment.

my main goal is to find a romantic partner, but realize i'm not owed that, as this life has no certainties....

any help?

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mossyboots · 51-55, FNew

I don't think you are in a position to have a romantic partner right now. Relationships are a two way deal and it might be that you won't be able to give to her what she needs if you have so many problems emotionally and mentally. I'm just being honest and not hurtful to you. You are so reliant on your mum and even if her advice is helpful to you, it isn't making things any easier for you in being able to cope.
You have to rely more on your mental health support and talk to them about everything, are there meds that might help you cope much better than possibly the ones you are on now?
Although you may not want to do it, socialising could help especially if there are other with the same problems as you whom you could talk to and would understand what you are going through. Your support team might be able to help with this. They are the ones to turn to when you are in that dark place because as you realise, your mum will not be around forever and you need to look to other support to help you cope with things now and when that time comes. It's something you really must do I believe.

durinsBane1983 · 46-50, M

@mossyboots i understood your viewpoint, yes i realize i'm not ready maybe at the moment, but it's something i'm trying to work towards, as i'm a lot better today than i was say 10 - 20 years ago, mainly because of my own efforts and hard work, and believe me it has been hard coping with a severe personality disorder all my adulthood...i'm presently getting help from the mental health services....but my mother does help me a great deal more than any mental health service has done....i acknowledge what you said and i am doing that, to reach out to these services and their plans to help me get out more socially, but that will never take the place of my wonderful mum, as i do have a close bond with my mum, more so than most other mother and sons, so i don't really want to think about being without my mum.

hope you understood where i was coming from?

mossyboots · 51-55, FNew

@durinsBane1983 Of course I do.

Girlyfriendcollecting · F

You need friends and a clinic that has mental health support groups. I dont know if you live near a ponessa or water street mission places like that can help ponessa is specifically fir mental health.

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