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how can i deal with this worry

that my beloved mum is getting older, she is elderly now and doing okay for her age....but she cannot do what she used to do, like she used to visit me and clean my flat for me because i have mental health problems and find it difficult to take care and tidy my flat, and my mum would travel down and clean for me and tidy up...but she cannot do that anymore...she just doesn't have the energy she used to have.

me, i have lived on my own in this apartment for 19 years now, i'm 46 years old..and as i said struggle with mental problems but i do well considering....unfortunately i missed out on finding any friendships or relationships and my only support network is my elderly mum and dad...and they two live far away..


i just feel lost and insecure at the thought of my mum getting older and passing on and leaving me all alone in this world, she has always been like a heavenly ray of light in my life...we have always been close.


my mum encourages me all the time to keep up looking after myself, keep doing my best and just live in the day i'm in...like one -day-at-a-time....ive not been to the gymnasium for over a month so when she visited me today she said to me i must try and get back to the gym, even if only once a week....because it's something.







i told my mum i find it hard to go to the gym because i feel self conscious and uncomfortable...and i don't like all the boisterous young lads who go there or the music the play through the speakers, which is hip hop and rnb.

but i've gained weight and know i must get back to the gym as soon as i can for my own fitness and to manage my type 2 diabetes.


my mum has just left me now so she drives an hours journey to get home....i always feel lost and alone when my mum leaves me....but i know i must go on and do my best to improve my life and try to be strong for her...............i feel terrible lonely at times, feel a void inside that is hard to fill....i feel left all alone by myself to get on with things and its a lonely horrible feeling.


i realise fully i am all alone in life apart from my elderly mum and dad, there's no easy answers to any of these problems i have.

my mum said she would be back up again in a couple of months to see me again
Uniquesara · 41-45, F
I dont mean to be harsh FORGET YOUR FEELINGS CUZ YOUR PARENTS AREN'T GOING TO BE AROUND FOREVER! So gat up and work

 
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