I've noticed some people literally either stop coming online or don't come on as often when I stop messaging them
馃 Dude, I'm not that special 馃槓
Just wondering. Does that ever happen to you?
Just wondering. Does that ever happen to you?
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Jexie 路 26-30, F
@Prisoner1972 Sometimes I feel guilty when it happens..
Prisoner1972 路 51-55, MVIP
@Jexie you have my permission to let go of guilty feelings. And I'm saying that because I started thinking about certain things with a Buddhist mentality. Minimalists Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus talk about how you should not keep personal property if you don't find it useful and if you don't take pleasure in keeping it. I try to apply that to certain thoughts. So certain thoughts come into my mind. And I apply two different tests to verify they are worthy of thinking about.
Is the thought useful?
The thought may be useful to render a friend or loved one the courtesy of sending a birthday card or wishing them a happy birthday. But it's definitely not useful to remember some time that you were embarrassed as a kid. Or trying to figure out something that happened 20-something years ago. And how you could have handled the situation differently. So if you deal with intrusive thoughts, they are not useful. It won't benefit you to think about them.
Do you take pleasure in the thought?
If you find no pleasure in the thought, then it will not benefit you to have the thought. For instance, I find no pleasure in thinking about bills I have to pay. But I find it useful to think about bills I have to pay because hashtag adulting Involves paying bills, feeding the dog, doing laundry, going to the ass doctor, etc.
Sometimes it's possible to take pleasure in certain thoughts that are not useful, like sexual fantasies. And hell yeah it would be nice and pleasurable to lay in the bed and go to pound town all weekend. Your laundry won't get done. The dog will starve. And you'll get your lights shut off. You still have to wash that vibrator, butt plug, fleshlight, or whatever instrument(s) of pleasure you choose. 馃槅 And besides, if you're in a loving relationship with a partner, living in a world of sexual fantasy will ruin that connection you have with him or her ( or whatever non-gender specific pronoun your partner chooses to use.)
So we have thoughts of guilt, and other intrusive thoughts, all the time. But we don't have to dwell on them. Martin Luther once said, "You can't keep the birds from flying over your head. But you can keep them from making a nest in your hair." Moral of the story: remind yourself that such thoughts or not useful. And you definitely don't have any pleasure thinking about them. So let them go.
Is the thought useful?
The thought may be useful to render a friend or loved one the courtesy of sending a birthday card or wishing them a happy birthday. But it's definitely not useful to remember some time that you were embarrassed as a kid. Or trying to figure out something that happened 20-something years ago. And how you could have handled the situation differently. So if you deal with intrusive thoughts, they are not useful. It won't benefit you to think about them.
Do you take pleasure in the thought?
If you find no pleasure in the thought, then it will not benefit you to have the thought. For instance, I find no pleasure in thinking about bills I have to pay. But I find it useful to think about bills I have to pay because hashtag adulting Involves paying bills, feeding the dog, doing laundry, going to the ass doctor, etc.
Sometimes it's possible to take pleasure in certain thoughts that are not useful, like sexual fantasies. And hell yeah it would be nice and pleasurable to lay in the bed and go to pound town all weekend. Your laundry won't get done. The dog will starve. And you'll get your lights shut off. You still have to wash that vibrator, butt plug, fleshlight, or whatever instrument(s) of pleasure you choose. 馃槅 And besides, if you're in a loving relationship with a partner, living in a world of sexual fantasy will ruin that connection you have with him or her ( or whatever non-gender specific pronoun your partner chooses to use.)
So we have thoughts of guilt, and other intrusive thoughts, all the time. But we don't have to dwell on them. Martin Luther once said, "You can't keep the birds from flying over your head. But you can keep them from making a nest in your hair." Moral of the story: remind yourself that such thoughts or not useful. And you definitely don't have any pleasure thinking about them. So let them go.