Sudden urge and anxiety to reach out to him and beg him to change his mind.

Beg him to come back.
I am so pathetic.
I am an idiot.
I don't have any sense.
I have lost in so many ways.
I am losing my mind right now.
I cannot go on like this.
I am going to explode.
I want to unalive me.
I won't unalive me.
But how do I live?